How can I move forward with dating or marriage without my mother?

[Justneedtokno]

This is pretty difficult subject, and I already have a hard time trusting but I do want those things in my future.

Wouldn’t man even except a woman without a mother I know that’s weird, but it’s a real question. She died right at the peak of graduating college.

Has been difficult to pick up the pieces till this moment, but I feel like now I’m ready I’m open. I want to explore and go on adventure and get to know people and put myself out there afraid afraid but I just don’t know where to start. In addition to, I feel like I’ve waited a while because I was healing.

Updates

+1 y

I think the realness portion of it all adult hood is wild and this is a critical moment in life, and I have a lot of unanswered questions that sometimes I think a mother can answer

[DishLady]

Ok, so this is a hard thing to do — and I totally get it. While I'm generally a "keep things moving"/"move it along" type person, losing a parent is different. You've probably looked forward in younger years to sharing special moments with your mom, particualarly where dating and marriage are concerned. I lost mine and now when there's something exciting to tell my lifelong best friend (and harshest critic) there's a big old void there…. But I'll tell you something that many moms tell their daughters: "Chin up. There will be better days ahead." (And there always are.) Consider this… Your mom is always with you in your heart. When you meet a guy you feel you can be serious about… consider whether it's someone you'd be excited to tell her about, whether it's someone she'd smile and tell you was nice — and more importantly good for you. Channel what you remember about her and use it to find your happiness in love, dating and marriage. I'm rooting for you. :)

[Anonymous]

Men would absolutely accept a woman who does not have a mother. I personally know what it is like to lose a mother as my mum passed away. She missed getting to be there during my pregnancy and meeting her grand baby. My dad is also dying. However I know without a doubt our parents would not want us to stop living our lives. They would still be wanting us to get married even in their passing

[NathanDavis]

just do it, venture...

even if you do "all the right things" it might not work right away, and that's just how it is

you were healing, that's understandable... if you feel like you've healed and want to now, venture, then go and do that...

if you're willing and wanting to make someone happy, and let yourself be happy with someone else... then go for it and left someone make you happy

[Miristheiss]

You are a NEW family with your husband. You and he become the core, nuclear family and you have your own children. Just like your mom and dad were the core of your family, not your grandparents (in some cases the extended family is more important than mom and dad but that is the exception not the rule).

You go start your own life, your own family.

[AviatorTom]

Think of how your mother would want you yo go ahead with your life... and be happy...

[Goahead76]

I can relate, my mother died when I was 29 and I realized I had to regularly remind myself that she wouldn't want me to grieve or waste a time lamenting her absence. She would want me to be happy, learning, progressing and not wasting the time I'm given in this life.

[Justneedtokno]

Well, thank you for sharing. I think I put a lot of things on hold.

[DJB72]

Trust me, no guy marries the girl because of her mother. None.

I have a great relationship with my wife's mum, but she's not why I married her.

It's tough to get past the death of a parent. My dad died when I was 27 and I wish he'd met my wife and my son.

[OddBeMe]

Wow, get therapy. Seriously. I did it for my depression and it helped me learn how to think.

You are probably just clouded with thoughts of your mom and aren’t actually that dependent on her. No, a guy wouldn’t care either way. A good guy would care about your wellbeing.

[slatyb]

Your mother's untimely death will not affect your romantic life.

[Justneedtokno]

I think I put a lot of things on hold

[msc545]

You are still grieving. Please get professional help at this point.

[Justneedtokno]

I have that’s why I’m trying to move forward and live better

[msc545]

Grief cannot be rushed; it takes the time it takes. It will gradually get better. Try to be patient and peaceful and this will pass. I promise.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what that's like. But let me relieve you of some of your burden, albeit only a small part. A man will love you for YOU, not you mother. I would not hesitate to date a woman in your position if she is a good woman.

I wish you the best and hope you find peace and happiness, and a a good man to love you.

[itsclearlynicholas]

That brown hair 🟤 sure is not something too common, however no I've not dated any women and even then, I've never met any chicks parents in a dating context lol 😂😆 I guess 🤣 at 30, it may be cringe now for me to go back on the dating scene, uh uh

[Grond21]

Yes, a man would not judge a woman just because her mother died

[Grond21]

That is very insightful

[bowenw]

If you haven't already ask your questions of the other females in your family like aunts. Males may be able to help, depending on the questions.

[VV3ZZY123]

Dont rush into any relationships. Be careful. Research Red Flags. Some Evil People out there Act like they're Kind, Funny, Smart and then they turn out to be Narcissist Pieces of Crap. You can learn to spot them if you do research.

[Jennz6]

I don’t understand, does your mother have to do everything?

[Justneedtokno]

The question is, I believe these are the critical moments in life where I really would like to have her the part about being a woman, fully married woman that has a family, and taking the next steps in life is the question the adulthood portion of my life.

[Jennz6]

Ask her to be there and help you

[Nerdvana]

I am really sorry for your loss. How old were you when she passed away?

[Justneedtokno]

21 right after graduation

[Nerdvana]

That must have been so hard to go through. But yes, a man who truly loves you will accept you, even though your mom is no longer with us. Have you ever talked to a professional or would you be open to talking to someone about this?

[Redstang88]

What’s that got to do with anything?

[Redstang88]

Well that’s growing up, figuring things out on our own

[OtterMan68]

what would you want for you?

[Justneedtokno]

I don’t really know anymore

[OtterMan68]

what would your mom want for you?

[jahaims]

How is a parent relevant to dating or marriage?

[Justneedtokno]

Some people talk things over with their parents if they have open relationships about dating marriage

[jahaims]

It seems like you were sheltered, so the death of your mother hits harder than it does with most. It's one thing to get advice, but it sounds like you are worried about running your own life without her, which you should be able to do by now. Sorry for your loss. Hopefully, you figure it out.

[eagle1951]

remember what she taught you growing up

[BlueJeanGirl04]

One day at a time.