Why am I still single at 28?

[Anonymous]

I am not that good looking. I had a crush on girl but she said that she has a boyfriend. Mostly the girls I like have already boyfriends.

In office I had crush but due to office politics she stopped talking to me and started dating HR.

During pandemic I gained a lot of weight. I lost my weight.

I have never been into tinder and all.

[Cute_Miss_Laura]

Okay, I’m going to go in a different direction to other’s who have given accurate, albeit harshly worded answers. The way you describe yourself, by starting off "I am not that good looking”, tells me that you have a low sense of self esteem. Believe me, to women there are few things that reek as badly as either desperation, or as low self-esteem on a man! You need to build up your self-esteem. Even if that means building up your mind and body first! Second If every girl you are attracted to already has a boyfriend, it’s likely because her boyfriend is a higher value man in the dating marketplace than you, or she’d be your girlfriend, and not his! To be clear, I am not talking about anything to do with money here! My boyfriend is broke, he comes from a very poor family, and lives in a shit-hole apartment… WITH ME! I have enough money that I bought him a NEW Prius for Christmas, b/c he works so hard at two different jobs to pay for school, b/c he wants to graduate debt free! But Lee needed to ride his bike everywhere, even in the rain, he had a 45 minute bike ride home from his second job! Money means nothing to me, nor does it mean much to most intelligent female college students! We all know that most college guys are broke. Most attractive women want good looks, a guy who works out and takes care of his body. But we also want a confident guy, preferably one with a sense of humor, who has a goal, and the talent and ambition needed to achieve that realistic goal! It also helps if he’s the type who is not afraid to show his softer side to us, and share his feelings!

Sure, there are definitely some gold digging whores who show up on dating podcasts, or on 3 minute TikTok's, that took hours to film, and even then they were still only able to get a few truly despicable women to make the rest of us look bad, b/c there is an audience of frustrated men out there, who like nothing more than to watch an attractive woman being humiliated on-line! But given the fact that most “Gold Digger” videos on YT, Insta, and TikTok are so clearly fake, it shows that there is a massive shortage of gold digging whores, to fill the content needs of all the social media creators! Most women would gladly exchange any asshole with money, for a sweet guy, who believes in himself, and has the drive and determination to make it in life, and who makes us laugh without just telling us jokes! Just a genuinely funny, confident man, who is not afraid to tell us what he’s really feeling.

So, again, if all the women you want to date already have boyfriends, maybe you are aiming WAY too high! You need to take a long shirtless look in the mirror, and compare yourself to the types of guys who actually are dating these women you like! I’m Sure that every guy would love to date a perfect 10, but unless you are the best looking, best built, funniest, sweetest guy out there, you’re not getting a 10, or a 9, or even an 8. So maybe if you started looking at the girls who are 5’s, 6’s, and 7’s who actually are single, and asked those girls out on a date, you might have a LOT more success, and may actually find a really sweet woman who likes the same things you do, who you genuinely like as a person, and who really enjoys spending time with you because of who you are, and not what you can do for her!

Don’t forget, a 5 is quite literally an average looking woman! A 6 is an above average looking woman, and a 7 is a beautiful woman! Your value in the dating marketplace is dictated by the most attractive woman you can actually get to date you, and eventually to make love to you… That’s it, period, end of story! I would consider myself a 7, at most! But it never ceased to amaze me, that when I first got to college (at age 16, bear in mind), the amount of older students in their mid to late 20’s who would ask me out, and were fat, greasy haired, with bad skin, and no confidence. It really took a toll on my own self confidence! Most of them would not even look me in the eye, because the had such low self esteem of social skills, but when I politely declined, they would immediately tell me something about what kind of car they drove! That disgusted me, because it made me think that they were treating me like a whore! Become the man that women want to date, and the women will by default want to date you. But seriously, starting with "I am not that good looking”… Not good sweetie!

Lastly… Don’t ever approach a woman at work and ask her out, unless you are absolutely 100% sure she want’s to go out with you. (and a good sign would be if she said something like “here’s my number, we should do something sometime!”) Otherwise you are likely to be attending a sexual harassment seminar, if not outright getting fired!

I truly wish you all the luck in the world! This is a terrible time for dating, hell, it’s a terrible time to be a guy, period! Not only a lot of women, but the entire system seems to be against men right now… Schools, Colleges, Corporations, and Especially the family court system, which in my opinion if men are not getting custody of their kids on average 50% of the time, then the bias is clear, it’s endemic, and the entire system needs to be abolished, and a new one build on the ashes of the old, with not ONE person involved, who was involved with the system we have now! Guys get screwed in family court, and not in the “good way”!!!

I truly hope this helps. Nothing was meant to be taken personally, nor as an insult. I don’t know you so it couldn't possibly be personal! I just want to help you, by giving it to you straight. There is an old aphorism: "The truth never hurt anyone, it might sting to hear, but the truth can only help the person wise enough to listen, and make the necessary changes” — Anonymous author.
Sincerely, Laura 🥰

[Asker]

You are a nice person.

[Cute_Miss_Laura]

Wow! Thank you SO much. I have to admit, I was really worried that you might take this entirely in a way it was not intended. I’m really happy that you saw it for the caring advice it was meant to be. I truly hope you find that one woman who will love you because you are you!
Laura ❤️ 🥰

[Cute_Miss_Laura]

Also, thank you for the MHO! I really appreciate that.
Laura 😘 🥰

[Asker]

I will definitely message you once I get any woman.

[Kelley1]

Find an much older and/or big girl or do without. All pretty girls have better options.

[Asker]

What do you mean by better option?

[Kelley1]

Better options means guys they consider more desirable because they are more intelligent, make more money, or they are better looking. Throughout history 60% of men never reproduced. Since you are below average, women are not available to you unless they are like oranges from bottom of the basket. That is fat, ugly, and older.

[RebelinSteel]

Life is hard, tbh at times for everyone it sucks, for some more than others, well because everyone lives their life differently.
a major thing in dating is being realistic, this is down to who you are personality wise, looks wise and also how you socialise.

I know I’m not going to always get a 6ft Amazonian love goddess, so I go for her 5’2 friend, she ticks a range of boxes I like, not all 10/10 across the board, but for the things I like and accept it’s enough.

The average person in the street, go look at your local shopping centre or high street, you see average people dating average people, a lot of those are shy, not great at looking for a girl, however it happens they date.

Look at joining clubs you are interested in, get out socialising, don’t aim so high, be realistic in your dating.

Get used to talking to girls, don’t ask them on dates, just get used to having conversations with a girl, avoid crushes (teens do that), just relax and talk to them as normal people. This way when you do decide to date, you don’t come over all needy or lack the conversational skills to talk to a girl, learn to flirt, be nice.

Also @Cute_Miss_Laura has it covered really well.

[Cute_Miss_Laura]

Great advice! It’s really great to see an intelligent man’s point of view on this. I agree with you wholeheartedly! ESPECIALLY the "avoid crushes”, (you’re absolutely right this is middle and high school behavior), and the "just get used to having conversations with a girl, just relax and talk to them as normal people…. learn to flirt, be nice.” Seriously, as a 21yo woman, nothing is worse than the stench of desperation, especially on a socially awkward guy! It gets worse when he's still trying to ask me out, after I’ve already politely thanked him, and told him that I have a boyfriend!
Seriously, great advice! Get used to just talking to women first, and be realistic when it comes to whom you ask out. I’m fairly attractive, but I’m not even the best looking girl even in my own friend group, so I know damned well I’m no 10! So I would NEVER even TRY to date men like Chris Pratt, or Chris Hemsworth! Nor would I try to date the quarterback of the UF football team! (despite me despising any sport-ball games) They are all just completely out of my league! It’s so important to have a healthy sense of self. To know when someone is just out of your league.

[RebelinSteel]

@Cute_Miss_Laura thank you 🤗😘

You see it so many times, people believing they are entitled to a 10 because social media tells them they are, unfortunately life’s not like that, I accept my own weaknesses. I am good at talking with a girl (not at her and not to her boobs), being relaxed around a girl is half the battle, most girls have friends and them seeing you relaxed with their mate Dawn, having a laugh does make you more appealing (up to a point lol).

[Cute_Miss_Laura]

I totally agree @rebelinsteel, there are a few things more uncomfortable than when a socially awkward man is trying to "chat me up”. Except of course, when he's staring RIGHT at my boobs while he’s doing it! So kudos to you for looking at a girl's eyes while talking to her… Believe me that's way more than half the battle. When I'm single, my basic rule of thumb is, IF YOU MUST, have a quick look, but anything longer than one second, and you've just made me very uncomfortable! Also I would REALLY prefer a guy to maintain eye contact and not look at all!

Other than the fact that he made me laugh without even trying, or telling me a joke, the fact that Lee never once looked at my boobs while we first talked outside of class, was my number one and number two reasons for agreeing to go out with him, so soon after breaking up from a three year relationship! I honestly didn't want a great guy like that to be a rebound relationship! Lucky for me it wasn’t!

[RebelinSteel]

@Cute_Miss_Laura eyes are so much the place to look, they are fairly key to flirting, you can gauge how things are going from a girls eyes, twinkle, humour or an icy glare (which tbh is a challenge lol). Reading a person is fun, seeing that flicker of a smile as you say something and the flash of her eyes, that really does beat looking at other body parts.
Also if someone is putting the C into Cute, well it’s far more fun.

[Cute_Miss_Laura]

@rebelinsteel Agreed! (but it’s almost 5:30am and I’m going to bed now. Goodnight. I’ll answer any thing when I log on next.(

[RebelinSteel]

@Cute_Miss_Laura have a lovely sleep 😴🤗😘

[Anonymous]

Personality flaws, lack of effort, social awkwardness. There can be 100s of reasons for it.

[Spatmates25]

why i'm still single. dating shit and nobody is interested in long term relationship. just all about hockup. that i'm not intersted in and can't do ld

[Asker]

We have same mentality