Do you guys think I could possibly be missing some red flags? or am I overthinking?

[Anonymous]

I have been talking to/getting to know this guy for about a month now. He has been a gentleman, very patient. Our conversations have been just the two of us getting to know one another emotionally. Seeing where we connect as far as humor, morals, values and just random everyday friendly conversation. We have gone on a few dates and he’s very calculated with the dates he plans. He always makes sure to ask what I would like to do and if he comes up with the date he often ask me how I feel about it. He’s vocal about his feelings and honest. He’s made few comments about what he likes/admires about my physical appearance. He’s made comments on me having a nice shape but not in a disrespectful way. Now, he’s slowly been mentioning sex. It seems like he wants to know my boundaries in the bedroom. My do’s and don’t’s while also letting me know what he likes. He mentioned that’s it’s things he would like to do with/to me in the bedroom and that he meant that in the most respectful way. He agreed to take a STD test with me when I mentioned it. I personally don’t feel he has bad intentions but my intrusive negative thoughts are telling me it’s too good to be true.

[Oliverlogan263]

I mean, from what you said it does sound like he's been respectful overall. It's good he asks about your comfort level with dates and stuff. Complimenting you politely isn't necessarily a red flag.

That said, talking about sex so soon could be pushing things a bit fast. Like you said, the intrusive thoughts might be stirring up doubts, and those are usually worth listening to a little. I'd just say keep an eye out in case his intentions do shift toward only physical stuff.

For now, maybe try shifting conversations more toward emotional bonding rather than physical/sexual topics. See if he stays engaged or seems disappointed. That could reveal more about what he really wants from you. Also trust your gut - if anything rubs you the wrong way, don't second guess that feeling.

Overall it doesn't scream red flag yet. But being cautious never hurts, and taking things slower may help reassure you one way or another. Communication is key too. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders - just follow your instincts and you'll figure it out!