I'll be the first to admit I can get a little jealous, and it's gotten me in trouble before. So I'm really trying to take a step back and not jump to conclusions. So what do you guys think?
My girlfriend has a good number of male friends, who she hangs out with and talks to. She tells me about it and shows me the texts sometimes without me asking. So it's not like she's hiding it.
But she also talks about her exes a lot and will talk about other dudes in her life like, "He's such an amazing man" ... "He has a crush on me." Stuff like that.
Personally, I want to tell her to shut the hell up and stop hanging out with dudes, but like I said, jealousy and paranoia have never been my friends in the past.
So is this something I should be worried about, or is it pretty normal for young women to think their boyfriend wants to hear that stuff?
My girlfriend has a good number of male friends, who she hangs out with and talks to. She tells me about it and shows me the texts sometimes without me asking. So it's not like she's hiding it.
But she also talks about her exes a lot and will talk about other dudes in her life like, "He's such an amazing man" ... "He has a crush on me." Stuff like that.
Personally, I want to tell her to shut the hell up and stop hanging out with dudes, but like I said, jealousy and paranoia have never been my friends in the past.
So is this something I should be worried about, or is it pretty normal for young women to think their boyfriend wants to hear that stuff?
Updates
10 mo
Oh, and I DID talk to her about it. She just told I'm the only guy she wants... blah blah blah. If I take it any further with her, I'll just come off as controlling. Which I have before
Updates
10 mo
I didn't make myself look to good here, did I? I should've worded this differently 🤦♂️
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
It’s not necessarily a red flag.
Maybe a cautionary flag.
It really depends on why she’s doing this.
If she’s simply just sharing about her day and her life with you and feels comfortable talking to you about anything and everything, then this isn’t THAT bad, just a bit inconsiderate of her.
Imagine if a boyfriend kept talking to his girlfriend about all his exes and the different girls hitting on him.
If roles were reversed, most women would not be cool with that.
Now, if she’s telling you these things because she’s TRYING to make you jealous as some sort of psychological conditioning thing to plant in your mind subconsciously that she can replace you and you need her more than she needs you, then THAT’S a red flag.
If she’s talking about all these guys to desensitize you to it, so that you have your guard down if she ever DOES decide to do something behind your back, that’s also a red flag.
Basically, if she’s doing it to manipulate you, it’s a red flag.
But, you see, whether or not it’s a red flag really depends on WHY she’s doing it.
If it upsets you, you can let her know you appreciate how comfortable she is talking about these things with you, but you would like to talk about something else.
This could also be her testing you to see if you will put up with this or if you’ll put your foot down. She may be purposely being a little disrespectful to test how assertive you are. Are you going to stand up for yourself? Or are you going to just shut up and take it?
By standing up for yourself, I mean speaking up for yourself confidently and respectfully.
Polite, yet firm.
Thank you, that helps
And that makes sense
So how would I find out which one it is?
I’m glad that helps!
To find out, you’d just have to observe her behavior closely—you’d have to gather clues, and store them in the back of your mind to put together a full picture of everything.
Also, pay particular attention to her actions and notice what her actions are saying.
Hopefully everything is good and there’s nothing to worry about.
In the best case scenario, you’ll trust her more the more you know her.
But, if you find yourself dealing with a manipulator, always weigh their actions heavier than their words.
Awesome, that's great advice. Thanks again!
Your welcome! I wish you the best of luck! 🍀
👍👍
Top lines of bullshit women say...
"He's just a friend"
"You're just jealous"
"You're just paranoid"
All lies all lies. I've heard it, I think you've obviously heard it, and there are a lot of guys that have heard it before.
Don't be a statistic... and force yourself to believe it until she finally cheats. Women are attention whores... she talks to them for attention. She says these things to work you up for the attention you already give to be intensified.
One day you'll be at work, or she'll be at work, or you just won't be there to put a stop to it... maybe she'll hide it the first few times, but eventually, they always get caught.
You don't gotta give me MHO, but bookmark this, and see if I'm right even if it's 3 years from now.
I take that kinda talk with a grain of salt, but you also may be right.
I just know my jealousy has gotten in the way of my common sense in the past.
Like I yelled at my last girlfriend for talking about this guy at work and wanting to bring him a gift on Christmas.
I'm picturing this ripped looking Chad with tattoos, and let's just say I felt very very stupid when I actually met him.
So I'm trying not to get ahead of myself, but I'm also no cuck and I see what you're saying.
I won't be taken advantage of and I won't be fooled, but I also have to keep my head on straight, knowing how I get sometimes
And I will give you MHO. Why not, you earned it lol
There’s also “You’re just insecure.” 🤙
Your red pilled advice is true as a general rule.
I agree that a lot of women gaslight their boyfriends so they can get away with suspicious behavior.
Let’s just hope our buddy here isn’t getting manipulated.
I believe that women are just as capable of wrong as men are.
I don’t mistrust all women but neither do I trust all women.
I believe what’s key here is seeing how defensive OP’s girl is if OP speaks up about this.
Whether she shows concern, consideration, respect, and accommodation.
Or she gets heated and defensive and begins to gaslight him.
@dynamicyandere Well put. If that heated and defensive stuff is there, I would place my money on some gaslighting going on.
😂😂
Why don't you just ignore her when she talks about it and she won't want to talk about it to you. That might work
Good idea.
I know I sound like an ass in this post, I didn't mean to lol.
But she's the only girl in the world as far as I'm concerned and treat her like it. I don't see why she can't do the same
Perhaps she doesn't realize she's being annoying or upsetting you. I usually don't repeat topics when people ignore me about them. I think oh, they don't want to hear about that.
You're right, I never act upset by it or anything. I'm not helping myself lol.
I'll give that a try. Thank you!
So do you think I should be worried about all these other guys she's so fond of?
Or is it pretty innocent?
(In your opinion)
She wouldn't be telling you if she was not innocent. On the flip side, you don't want her to tell you. You're being jealous, I'm a jealous person also. Now I'm nosey lol spill the beans, then I can keep listen and see if anything has changed. Behavior wise, big mouth wise. Bedroom wise. I think too much.
😂😂 that's funny, I'm the same way.
I don't want to hear it, but I don't wanna NOT hear it too lol.
Thanks for that, I appreciate you
Ask her to invite one of her friends home for dinner and watch the two of them together if he shows up. That will tell you all you need to know.
OR - ask her to invite two of them and watch her flip out if she is seeing both of them - it won't happen but it's fun to imagine it.
@msc545 Lol! That's not a bad idea actually
Seriously - you need to find out what is happening.
Not like anything would happen with me there anyway, but it would be interesting to see if it gets awkward or not
try it