Is this a red flag or am I being cold hearted?

Question

I napped after work the other day and within 40min my boyfriend called me 36 times and left me messages on fb messenger and text freaking out and accusing me of being with someone else and when I woke up and called him right back he was crying and mad at me and it made me question if I wanna be with him or not because I don’t like that. I’ve never cheated and never have thought about it and found it so ridiculous that he freaked out like that. It’s a newer relationship so I’m wondering if you think I should leave now because it might get worse? Or am I being cold hearted about the situation?

Jamie05rhs · Accepted Answer

He's a bit intense. I think you should have a talk with him and get/give reassurances and lay out some ground rules. If he does it again, I think you should suggest to him to see a therapist. If he does it repeatedly over time, then maybe he's just not ready to be in a relationship, since he has insecurities that he needs to work through personally.

oolonc · Accepted Answer

He's probably been cheated on before and is super sensitive about it. Doesn't give him an excuse though, he needs to leave that baggage at the door. Unless he was apologetic about his behavior, it seems unlikely to change. Just have to decide if it's something you want to tiptoe around for an indefinite period of time, or move on.

ally018 · Accepted Answer

Red flag! This could be because your boyfriend is controlling. You should probably evaluate your relationship with him. Does he exhibit this behavior in any other incidences? If so, this could be a wake up call.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Not only is this a red flag, but the house is on fire, and the forest behind it. Run, girl.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Break up and refer him to a therapy hotline

Lliam · Answer

Big red flag. Jealous, controlling, possible narcissistic tendencies. How dare he accuse you of being with someone else. It would have been more reasonable if he had been worried about you.

kyleelyn199723 · Answer

He didn’t have good intentions here. It would be more reasonable if he was concerned as to if you are okay, but accusing you of being with someone else is ridiculous. You should consider if you want to deal with this controlling behavior

Anonymous · Answer

Big red flag… Don’t stick with someone if you know you cannot handle that… It would drive me insane to say the least. This is just overwhelmingly crazy…
Psh… And my ex said I was obsessive and crazy for texting him twice in a 5 hour span…

RobT312 · Answer

Seems strange. Talk to him about it. Don’t u want to know why he did that? id be concerned, not sure u need to abort just yet u less you want to. Talk and ask a ton of questions first.

whosnumber1 · Answer

wow! not just a red flag... fucking defcon level three! pull the escape lever. abandon ship! ejection seat.

HenryEvans · Answer

I want a woman to care so much about me that she texts 36 tme while I'm asleep. I guess it could get kinda stalkerish if you ever did break up though.

arodriguez664 · Answer

That doesn't seem right. He seems extremely insecure and it sounds like it could lead to more controlling behaviors.

Not_Average · Answer

He’s most likely been hurt before. Are you going to help him gain his trust back or are you going to ditch him? Genuine question you should ask yourself.

lisalikes · Answer

He would flip out if you couldnt call him for any reason for a few hours. I would say "walk away", and if he keeps calling, block his number. Or tell him you have a girl friend.

Faerum · Answer

Red flag! Run for the hills, this level of insecurity will cause you a lot of emotional stress for years to come if you let it.

sheikalana · Answer

He called you 36 times in a spun of 40 minutes? That's a clear red flag. For how long have you been dating? This isn't normal.

Anonymous · Answer

Red flag. Not that this is happening to you but last time I got accused of cheating or talking to other guys he was the cheater. Even married the girl he was cheating on me with.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Sounds like he is trying to be controlling, that is a huge red flag.

Staximus · Answer

If you didn't do anything that would make him think you were cheating on him (like talking to or hanging out with other guys), then get rid of him now.

HighValue · Answer

He is too immature to be in a relationship if he gets like that so easily.

Cowboy6666 · Answer

Wow he acted like immature guy, by the way how old is he? I think its a redflag or alarming situation.

exitseven · Answer

This guy is very insecure. I don;t know if it will get better.

Seangreen · Answer

Red flag. Happened to me. Kill should have bailed right there

Waldoe · Answer

he is very insecure... that's too bad, it's very unattractive... you can try suggesting he seek help... or walk away, it won't get better on it's own

Anonymous · Answer

Has he had the COVID shot? sounds like side effects but in any case, that is a huge redflag.

collie22 · Answer

i would get away from this person. it can only get worse

Anonymous · Answer

Obviously he has serious mental problems. You better leave now before it gets really dangerous...

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Eh 30 times would be ok, but 36 wave that flag!!

Anonymous · Answer

That’s definitely area flag

slatyb · Answer

HUGE RED FLAG. GET OUT BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.

noohair · Answer

Wow, psychotic behavior. Not good for the future.

princeofromance · Answer

Big Time Red Flag

Is this a red flag or am I being cold hearted?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is this a red flag or not?

Is this a red flag or am I being cold hearted?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is this a red flag or not?

We're glad to see you liked this post.