I’m struggling with dating any help or advice?

[Howdy13]

I’m sure a question like this has been asked before, but i’m just struggling with this. I’m 26 and i’ve never had anything materialize into an actual relationship. It just always seems to fall apart before it gets to that point. But at this age i just feel like im never going to experience a relationship with someone.

Im tall im 6’3, im on the skinny side. I haven’t finished college yet since graduating HS but i have a good job in a Lab while i get my degree. I have an apartment (albeit with roommates) a decent car. I have hobbies, like going to the beach, going on walks, love playing and watching sports (football, Basketball, rugby), listening to music, traveling, ( although i’m just started so i haven’t been to a lot of places yet) I like hanging out with my friends, none of us are bad people all college educated with decent jobs. But yet no girl ever seems interested in me :/

My ma and her friends will tell me all the time that i look attractive, handsome, i should be getting all the girls but it never feels that way. My friends tell me that to but I’ve honestly never heard a girl that i was interested in tell me any of that. I just usually get dry responses or ghosts. I just kinda feel SOL when it comes to dating. Like it’s never gonna happen. Am I that undateable? I’d like to just assume that I’m okay but obviously something has to be wrong. I’m trying to stay confident but i mean after struggling for 26 years it gets really hard.

[SallyTho87]

You sound like a great catch! I'm sorry you're having such issues finding a dating partner. The dating world, for actual relationships, is HARD now a days thanks to hookup culture taking such a huge leap.
Have you tried online dating? Tinder, Tagged, Plenty Of Fish, Bumble? These sites can also help guide you to the women who are also seeking a relationship, based off of their bios it's an easy way to guide whether contributing time to the person of interest is worth it or not too.

Also, please don't lose hope. I actually met my ex in a grocery store lol. I couldn't reach the pasta I needed for lasagna, and he's tall (6ft 2) so he easily grabbed it for me. Then we exchanged numbers and dated for a little while.

You have opprtunity to meet new people each day! If you're into hobbies, and sports, have you found any women who are also into those things that you are? Anyone of interest to you? You can try meeting through friends of friends, which is a great way to also get to know if the woman is worth your time, as you have a mutual to introduce you and share a bit about her!
Other ideas would be; participating in community events, or volunteering, etc. Another bit of time to contribute toward something YOU enjoy, but you will also be introduced to new people, new women, and possibly potential dating partners too!
What about school? Or at your workplace? Any women you fancy from those areas?

If you try online dating, its worth a shot, but make sure you are clear informing what type of relationship you are seeking, so women who are looking only for hookups / one night dates, will not overcrowd your inbox!

I hope you find someone of interest soon! Don't give up :)

[Howdy13]

i’ve tried online dating and it’s even worse 😞 I get few matches and most of them just give dry responses and or ghost me. There’s not any girl i like in my class and i’m mostly just trying to finish the class, and at work i rather not make work feel awkward or uncomfortable because i tried to express interest in someone and they don’t feel the same. I just don’t know what else to do. i just wish i could have someone special or be special for someone for once :/

[SallyTho87]

I understand where you're coming from. Dating online is super difficult, and it can be frustrating too.
The whole "ghosting" trend is so disrespectful. I don't understand it, or understand why one cannot simply message someone back to inform "hey, i appreciate the interest but I am looking for something more / less" and at least let the person know.

If you can participate in any school activities, like parties, school events, sport games, etc. you will probably meet a lot of new people that way too, and find some women who may spike your interest!
You can also try stepping out of your comfort zone and heading to a pub or a club with a small group of friends. This is a great place to meet new people, especially women. I know it's probably not your regular scene, but it never hurts to explore new areas / places around your city!
I am working on that myself, currently expanding socially to meeting new people by participating in "paint nights" at a local cafe, and "karaoke" nights, along with attending open mic nights to show some support to others who conquer their fears to get up on stage and share a song, or poetic piece!
I've met lots of new people from doing this, just randomly attending new events and getting familiar with the others who attend too. You could try this also, if you have similar events in your city!

[Selene1600000]

You are not undateable, but your life setup alone won’t create relationships without strong romantic communication and emotional connection skills. Getting ghosted usually means the early interaction isn’t building enough attraction, not that something is “wrong” with you as a person. If you keep meeting people and learn to show interest more directly and confidently, things will eventually change.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn bro, that's rough. I can totally relate to feeling like it's never gonna happen. A few thoughts from one struggling brother to another:

- Fist bump for having your shit together - job, place, hobbies. That's more than a lot of dudes. Don't sell yourself short there.

- Maybe try some different types of dating apps or sites to meet more people outside your usual circle. You never know who you might connect with.

- When chatting a girl up, focus on asking questions and showing interest in HER. People tend to like talkers who make them feel heard.

- Ask friends to set you up! Having a mutual connection can make introductions less awkward.

- Consider putting yourself out there more socially - join a sports league, take a class, volunteer. You never know who you might meet.

- Don't lose hope, bro! Keep working on being your best self and the right one will come. 26 ain't old - you got your best years ahead, trust.

You got this man. Keep that chin up. We're all struggling in some way. But you seem like a catch - your time will come, I know it! Hit me up if you ever want to vent more, I'm always down to lift a brother up.

[TommyMountainFigure]

All I can deduce from what you've typed, is that you can only be looking in the wrong places, because I agree with your friends, nothing I've read would suggest you are undatable!

[Howdy13]

i’m sorry i’m just having a really bad day but why don’t/won't actual women express it to me? i just feel like they’re constantly disinterested in me. It just makes me feel like there has to be something wrong with me and i just can’t figure it out anymore. I don’t even know where to look anymore cause i just get the same result

[TommyMountainFigure]

In your area, there has to be social clubs for people of your age group... they are everywhere, and full of people in the same boat as you.. Maybe you could try those?