I need dating advice?

Question

Any advice for a 27 year old living in a big city alone. I tried dating apps but we all know they suck. So I want to put myself out there & need some tips & advice. I’ve been single all my life and don’t wanna continue being single forever so I must do something about it. I am an introvert, don’t know anyone in this new city, always in the house. So obviously I need to go out but I would like to know where is the best places go go and what days of the week or times. How do I respond to men who show me attention? I am not a 100% introvert. I’d say im an ambivert. I only talk when im really comfortable. Im a virgin so I do get nervous about dating because I don’t know when is the right time to share that information. I don’t want to be taken advantage of. I usually get attention from guys both online and in person but I want a guy with good intentions not someone who is looking to just have sex with me. What are some things I should know before putting myself out there and how exactly should I do it? All advice is appreciated.

Sunssong · Accepted Answer

@sarahdelacruz Can you answer these questions: Do you wish to be kind to all others unconditionally?  Do you wish to be courteous to all others unconditionally?  Do you love and want romance?  Do you want a career that significantly takes away from your freedom? What height would you accept for a husband/boyfriend?  What body type would you accept for a husband/boyfriend?  Would amount of income would you accept in a husband/boyfriend?  Would you stay with him if he lost his millions?  Do you want kids (how many)? Are you very open minded?  Are you glued to a culture?  Do you have a lot of friends and family? Are you willing to change bad habits? How would you like your husband/boyfriend to look? What are your interests?  On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you want a husband/boyfriend? My philosophy on relationships is simple. You create a vision  of the relationship you want and then you become a match to that vision. The vision is the leader.  When looking for a man you ask yourself what man would be a match for that vision  or what man would grow into that man.  Who we are is habits and traits. That is it. What habits and traits do you need for your vision?  Once you get your guy you both sit down and  write a joint vision . The joint vision is the leader. There can only be one leader. The leader creates order. It is your job to fit in with the leader.  A part of all joint visions should be harmony between the two people dating.  What traits and habits do you need to pull that off? Harmony doesn't mean you always agree on small things but you always treat each other right.  The philosophy is that simple. You have bi weekly meetings and go over what, in terms of the vision, is going well and what needs touching on. Problems or concerns can be bought up in the meeting too.  The philosophy is simple but requires  an understanding of the mind  and you must know what you want. This philosophy in my opinion is the best way for a relationship to last and be fulfilling. Without it you're shooting in the dark.

Lynx122 · Accepted Answer

I don't think this can be summed up in an answer on gag you need to gain experience with being social and be able to say no and protect yourself when it's needed and also just have a good feel for people reading the room know what people want if they have good intentions or not etc. There's a lot of factors.

Adaeva · Accepted Answer

Virginity is very desirable for teens and girls in their very early twenties. However, there is nothing attractive about a 27-year-old virgin. It implies something is wrong but I am not qualified to say what that is or how you can fix the problem. Likely the problem is minor or you are very religious.

However, I can advise you on the other. Most young women including a majority of women up to and even a bit past your age, want the best that will date them. However, they are the guys that date down for sex or expecting sex but they don't marry down. Not that it never happens but it is unrealistic to expect it to happen. Like most women up to and a little past your age, you continue to seek guys out of your league that will not marry you and reject men within your league that want to marry you.

These guys are not hard to find. You recognize them right off. If they think they are doing well, they want to marry you. However, if you think you are doing well, they will f**k you but they will not marry you. Until and unless you are willing to accept a guy who believes he is doing well, you will not get married.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well, living in the city is a good start— higher population, higher chances of meeting someone! If you want to avoid men that are only interested in sex, it may be a good idea to avoid places like bars and clubs. You can hang out in coffee shops, the library, museums—places that are more quiet and less stressful for us introverts lol. You can see if there’s any place looking for volunteers, or check out meetup. com and see if they have any events in your area you may be interested in.

Just out of curiosity, which dating apps did you use?

Avicenna · Answer

You need to be very careful who you date

Billlewis · Answer

If I could only give you one piece of advice, it would be for you to demonstrate that you're very confident about your attractiveness and that you expect to be treated very, very well by any guy who's fortunate enough to date you.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I'm having the same problem, I can't find an atheist woman who likes video games, making art, studying science and nature, and watches sci-fi, fantasy, and anime/cartoons.

slatyb · Answer

Dating apps worked well for me. i met a long-term partner that eventually didn't work out, then I met my wife.

Anonymous · Answer

I've done it All, Online and Offline. Start by finding friends to go to nice bars in your areas.

Celticwolf78 · Answer

Time to get away from the city

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