Is dating ALL about looks?

[Anonymous]

Before going out I told my friend he has whiter features he’ll get girls. He told me I’m crazy and a handsome guy. I’m English but Indian ethnically.
I am over 6ft, in decent shape, educated, and very rich.

We went to a club, we speak Spanish. I met a Holland chick that was stunning. I spoke to her and went well + even with my English accent……. got her insta

➡️In the end she only accepted the instagram request of my friend that spoke NO English. She couldn’t even speak to him and still he’s the one that got accepted.

It’s all looks.
Today proved exactly what I already knew.

Being darker brown skin I’m considered ugly and less than other people. It can only be that, I’m polite, respectful and humerus

It’s all looks

No it’s not

Updates

+1 y

Truth hurts deep.

Yet my friend is like, oh you’re so lucky you’re from a rich family. I just scratch my head.

[sawno]

Its not all looks, the problem is getting past the looks part. Dating apps are awful because its just a picture and a shitty description. They have nothing proper to go off, so they go nitpicking at the details in the description and compare everyone's looks further skewed by the fact that the best looking men often don't mindfucking someone beneath them if its just for a side girl creating the illusion that those girls have a chance.

If you meet a girl under other circumstances its a different story, for example it might be a chance encounter because you vibed well on a question here on the site. You might get along really well on a co-worker, or went on a date in person with someone who liked your general vibe. Because outside of dating apps there is an actual vibe to observe and you can just kinda tell.

For example, a girl might have that perfect personality I love, a personality that matches amazing with me. I wouldn't care if there would be a top model interested in me I'd want the girl I actually properly get along with on a deeper level (Of course I also need to find her pretty but beauty only gets you so far once you're on the pretty level, i'd say a large amount of girls in my country meets that bar for me). Problem is, on a dating app i'd have no way of knowing so then if you aren't as pretty as the next girl or wrote a shitty bio i'd have no way of knowing you are the one for me. And i'm sure that will apply in the reverse to.

[Iron_Man]

It’s the first thing of attraction to get your foot in the door. It’s very important. Most people wouldn’t want to date the elephant man, but if you look good, they would love to go out with you. That’s just the facts after that comes personality heart and character and if you’re sweet

[DishLady]

It’s more about looking and observing (so still visual, but not just in the way you’re implying). With dating you’re picking up signals from the other person and assessing your compatibility with them (and theirs with you).

[IslaTheWitch]

I take my time to get to know people, so I never base on looks... or does he have dangerously sharp mind, witty humor and challenging character, or we have nothing in common :D

[sawno]

Dangerously sharp mind is a good thing or a bad thing in that context?

[IslaTheWitch]

@sawno definitely a very good thing

[OtterMan68]

Depends. If you are in public and spot someone, the first thing you notice is how they look, and that often determines whether you make a move, but meeting someone online or a more intimate setting, you get to know the person before you ask them out, but online dating, you choose someone by how they look then see if you have shared interests

[4ngelic]

no but looks are a necessary component of it. like you'll never date someone you dont find attractive. but you won't date them just cause you find them attractive. they need to have a good personality you like and have mutual feelings

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes it’s about looks initially. Why did you only talk to the stunning looking girl?

[Asker]

I spoke to others but she was so striking and the nicest girl there

[BarryLiverstone]

So it is all about looks

[Asker]

No it’s because she’s really nice

[Asker]

Looks got me at first. But I spoke to at least 3 other chicks

[BarryLiverstone]

Right, it’s always about looks first. Did they accept your insta, the other girls?

[Asker]

They don’t use insta bro

[BarryLiverstone]

Then you could get their phone numbers.

[Asker]

But they’re going back to Holland soon. So I’m just practicing my game

[BarryLiverstone]

There it is. You were not seriously looking and they picked up on that vibe. It’s not about skin color at all.

[Knightwatch27]

Generally no. Looks get you through the door and does play a role in keeping people, but personality and character is needed for the long run, every time.

[Anonymous]

Keep thinking that if it makes you feel better but no, it is not.

[handsomelad70]

Dating is about connecting with your desired partner.

[RedInnocent69]

No, it’s about getting to know someone. But it often starts based on looks.

[tasqueen]

Yess

[Asker]

Yesss what.

[Asker]

Are you begging for points