Why does my boyfriend seem so aloof but when I don't text him back he gets anxious?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend 31, is kind of emotionally cold. But when I don't text him back, he's double texting and asking me if I'm okay? It's like emotional whiplash sometimes

[SallyTho87]

Sounds like he needs the reassurance and the stability of your attention toward him. Otherwise, if he doesn't hear from you, he overthinks and becomes anxious.
This is called an Anxious Attachment, and please know that it will get worse, and may get more difficult for you, and for him as the relationship progresses.
Remember; it is not your job to constantly help ease his anxiety, if he is constantly jumping to conclusions, or thinking you're breaking up with him, etc. over absent text messages, or late messages from you, that is HIS issue to fix. He needs to do the self work and really get a handle on his attachment issues going forward.

[Asker]

That makes sense. He always thinks I'm angry when I'm not

[on_my_knees]

Stop playing the victim and take control. He needs discipline. Reward him when he doesn't double-text you, let some time go by and tell him 'Good boy.' Scold him when he does double-text you. If the scolding doesn't work, then it's time to get physical.