Girlfriend doesn’t want me to go out with her?

[Anonymous]

So I asked my girlfriend if I could go out to the bar with her and her work friends and she basically said no in a nice way. She said she wants to spend time without me and Yes we do spend a lot of time together but we never really have time to go on proper dates it’s mostly just me spending the night at her place and maybe dinner like once a week and I feel like going to the bar with her would be fun and a nice change of pace. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years and are in a really serious relationship. Is this a problem or am I overstepping and should give her that space.

[Chazmatazz269]

You’re overstepping a little. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to go out with your girlfriend. The problem is you’re trying to insert yourself into a group where you don’t belong, her work mates. Let her have that and take her out to somewhere else at another time. It’ll be better that you get her to herself anyway, for now. Depending on how far along you are, you may want to start seeing how she interacts with her friends and coworkers, her family and eventually yours too. But those can be big steps. Take your time. It’s good that she’s comfortable setting boundaries with you. I hope you feel the same toward her. You’re familiar with the concept “Don’t be TOO available”, right?

[Lliam]

She already made plans with the girls. Having you along would change the vibe.
My wife sometimes does things with her (girl) friends and I'm not invited. I joke that it's sexist, but I'm just teasing. I understand that girls need camaraderie at times just to talk among themselves and have fun. Again, guys change the vibe.

So I would recommend asking her out on real dates. Go do something fun together.

[Anonymous]

If you're spending plenty of time with her, then just leave it alone. If you really want a date, then plan one a different day and explain you want a date instead of a sleepover. But she certainly should be allowed a night out with other people without it being a big deal. This is all just kinda sounds like a lack of communication about what you each want.

[dustybiker2]

Explain this to her. Props to you for putting in the effort. She's probably in cruise mode and needs convincing to spice things up again. So tell her you are serious about dates. That they matter to you.

[Iron_Man]

My question is are you never allowed to go with them anywhere or is it just because she was not in the mood that night?

[Asker]

She has invited me out once before but that was probably about a year ago

[Iron_Man]

Try again soon

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Let her go out this time with her friends, then next month you both go out alone.

[jahaims]

She is allowed alone time