Girlfriend never wants to go out on dates?

Ok, I know a lot of guys would probably be stoked if their girlfriends were like this, but my issue right now is my girlfriend and I never get to go out on nice dates because she always finds a way to cancel.

She's always either too tired or wants to do something else instead like just hang out at home and watch movies, or do something with our friends. Writing this I feel like the girl in the relationship, because I feel like girls are the ones who complain about not going out enough with their guys, but it's frustrating.

I care about this girl a lot and enjoy treating her well. Plus, there's no better one on one time, at least in my opinion, than when you're out on a nice date. I also know from past experience in relationships that when you stop going out and doing nice things with your significant other, you can fall into a grind/routine and the relationship can lose its spark. I don't want this to happen with this girl.

For example, we planned on going to dinner and a movie tomorrow night. I made these plans earlier in the week and my girlfriend said she was all in. Now today, she's already wavering on her plans. And I know her too well. It's not going to happen.

I planned on getting her flowers and taking her to dinner and a movie...but instead we'll probably just end up hanging out on the couch or with friends. Do I have a right to be angry? How do I approach her about it?

When she told me she was wavering on the plans I told her I feel like we really should go and that I was looking forward to it. She looked at me like I had 6 heads...are guys not allowed to look forward to taking their girls out for a nice date?

Thanks for the answers and advice, I appreciate. But I was right...we are not going out on our date tonight...because she just broke up with me last night. I'm pretty devastated right now and don't know what to do.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I can understand your frustration and honestly, I just think you have yourself a homebody. I can be a homebody sometimes, and you know what, it's cause I usually hate having to get dressed. The funny thing, once I'm dressed, I have to go out.

    I could tell you that you just have to love her the way she is or, just talk to her. But I believe in action and changing the things that are within my power, so try a couple different things.

    1. Yes, let her know exactly how you feel. She may be completely unaware of the fact that she's always canceling on you. That you find it predictable and that it makes you feel like what you want to do doesn't matter...even if she looks it you crazy. She needs to know. Also, ask her directly why she doesn't like going out. You might learn something there that could help you figure out what to do.

    2. Sometimes the idea of having to get dressed might be annoying. Or she just doesn't feel sexy. Does she get her hair done? I would suggest once in a blue moon, or on nights you ''really'' want to go out, to take her to get her hair done, or get her make up done, a buy a new pair of shoes. Anything that she would want to show off. Sometimes we need a reason to go out, hard as that is to believe.

    3.Understand that she's probably a super introvert...or maybe she's even tired (don't know if she works and goes to school) Whatever it is, try to understand her perspective and maybe try to even out what you'd both like to do. Make a deal. This week we'll stay home...and make that fun too...and this week, its dress time. That way you both get what you want.

    If she is not open to any of this than there might be a little selfishness at play. At this point you'll probably want to reconsider where the relationship is going and if you can deal with the status quo.

    Try it out! Good luck!


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What Girls Said 2

  • I have to make one comment first before I say what I have to say on this. I miss dating guys like you! :)p I've had awesome relationships with guys like you. So much fun.

    I'm not that lucky now though. I love my boyfriend but I'm in the same boat as you. I've been with my guy for over 3 years. He's 14 years older than me. It doesn't matter what I want to do, he always makes excuses, not to go and/or he'll say OK, and then take off with his friends.

    I've exploded several times for him doing this. He knows that I broke up with an ex. over this exact issue. I told him I didn't want that to happen again but he's giving me no other choice. He just looks right into my eyes and says "I'm not worried." A**hole thing to say. He's going to have a rude awakening soon here. I have no more patience.

    So believe me your not alone in this I know how frustrated, depressed and angry you can get. So YES you have every right to be angry.

    Some people are just stubborn.

    Other people simply don't share the same interests.

    Then there's people that have other underlying issues that you know nothing about. Sometimes depression, maybe something that happened to them, or someone like me that's Bi-Polar and has Panic Attacks when leaving the house (I make myself go anyway), pretty much many reasons.

    I would get her alone and ask what the problem is. Or if there's anything she needs to talk about. and go from there. Let her know how angry it makes you.

    My boyfriend is just a lost cause. He's pig headed and just doesn't care. No underlying issues there. However my boyfriend is cautious on where he hangs out and goes. He's so into keeping his MANLEY image, that he worked so hard to create, and the fact that he was in Prison, he can't be seen in certain places because that will threatened his MAN CARD.

    So I've got issues on top of issues with mine...

  • I think its sweet, maybe don't make plans with her so she doesn't get to cancel. Maybe pick her up one day with flowers and tell her to get dressed your going to dinner. I don't know why a girl would want to go out, I would talk with her about it because I know something like this will get old fast and can cause issues in the relationship. Good luck


What Guys Said 1

  • You are allowed to look forward to it.

    However, does she actually like these things? I mean if you do and she doesn't, you can still do them sometimes, but you act like you're doing them for her, maybe she doesn't want them?

    Connecting and focusing on each other is important, eating in a restaurant isn't (though I enjoy it too).

    If she's happier at home, maybe she'd rather get take out and some wine and eat somewhere comfy you normally wouldn't at home?