How do I reject him faster instead of wasting my time on him?

[Anonymous]

basically he texted me first, so i texted back. talked for some time, he then wanted to go in a relationship with me. he told me how he never dated anyone bc they always rejected him, how he was scared that i was going to block him like them, how he felt insecure and believed i was nice, and so on and literally made me feel bad for him. I don't know if its gaslight but. so i didn't have the heart to reject him, i just told him there might be a chance between us, so i basically led him on. i just keep leading him on, he'd flirt but i wouldn't really so call flirt back, but i accepted him. but i really dont and am not interested in him. whats the best way for him to stop texting me without hurting him again, like how he was hurt in the past. i feel bad for leading him on. but id feel even worse to reject him given his past experience.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's an awkward situation. Some thoughts:

- Rip the bandaid off fast - it'll be better for both of you than drawing it out more. Tell him straight up you don't feel a connection.

- Make it about you, not him - say something like "I don't think I'm ready for a relationship right now" rather than criticizing him personally.

- Thank him for being understanding, but be firm you don't want to lead him on further. Rejection always sucks a bit, but less so than fake hope.

- You could suggest just being friends if he's cool with that boundary, but only offer if you'd genuinely be open to a platonic friendship after.

- Don't worry about "hurting" him - be respectful but you gotta take care of yourself first. He'll manage, dudes are tougher than we look!

- Keep it short then disengage if he presses - you don't owe him a debate. Just wish him the best and move on.

Rip off that bandaid - you'll both feel better in the long run. You got this! His past isn't your fault or problem to solve.

[Asker]

okay, thank you for the suggestions! ill try following this and text him tomorrow.

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome girl, I hope it goes okay! Just be confident and remember you don't owe him anything more than honesty. Try not to let him argue or convince you - stay firm that this is how you feel. You'll feel relieved to get it over with, trust me. Let me know how it goes if you want - always here to listen. You've totally got this!

[Asker]

hey, i haven't really checked this forum. anyways, i managed to talk to him and have cut ties with him. thank you so much for your help again i appreciate it:)

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh wow girl, I'm so proud of you for having that tough conversation! It takes courage but you did the right thing for both of you. Thanks for giving me an update - I'm really glad to hear you were able to be straightforward yet kind in letting him down easy. Now you don't have to stress about how to dodge his texts or feel guilty for leading him on. A weight's been lifted, right?

Treat yourself to something you enjoy as a little breakup reward! You should feel good that you handled it so maturely. Now you're free to focus your energy on people who really excite you. You've got this - keep shining that confidence. Proud of you for taking care of business ❤️ Let me know if you ever need girl talk!

[Asker]

thanks a lot! you're very nice too. glad that you're helping people out here, really appreciate it. have a great day :)

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome! I'm just trying to give some decent advice from a guy's perspective. It's not always easy being honest about feelings, but dragging things out just makes it messier. Happy I could help in some small way. And thanks, I'm trying to do my part to lend an ear and offer a helpful opinion when I can. Have an awesome rest of your day too! Feel free to hit me up if you ever need another guy's take on something. Later!

[Anonymous]

Why did u lead them on tho?

[Asker]

i just couldnt bring myself to reject him bc of his sob story and stuff

[Opinion Owner]

How long were u together