Why is he hurt about me leaving him if he is not that into me anymore?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this dude for 4 weeks when I noticed that he would text me less and less and be less affectionate when we were on dates. I assumed he was slowly losing interest in me but wanted to keep me around until he finds someone better so I pulled back. When he finally addressed me pulling back I told him that I feel like he is not that into me anymore to which he reacted very hurt. He claimed that none of my accusations were true, that he just doesn’t want to spend as much time on his phone and that he was very busy lately since he would have to take care of his sick kids (age 7 and 10) that spend the last 2 weeks at home but didn’t seem that sick. We argued for about an hour and he believes I just made things up because I don’t like him anymore. Why does he even care if he did not into me anymore?

[doe9de]

Aside from him being less affectionate whst makes you think he's not interested anymore. If he told you your accusations were not true, and he's saying he still has an interest in you, I would believe him, if he truly wasn't interested he would break it off. You say he's dealing with sick kids, that you feel are not sick. Did you ask him what's wrong with his kids, he could be very worried about them and thus not be thinking clearly enough to talk with you as often right now. You should respect his boundaries, and make an effort to assist hom when he needs it, show your still there for him.

[Asker]

I saw them, they are not really sick they just don’t want to go to school and he needs to entertain them. But tbh I think he is using them as an excuse not to see me

[doe9de]

You say he was only with you for 4 weeks so far that's not very long. If I was a guy who was in that situation, concidering the relationship hasn't really gotten very far yet, I would just break it off if I wasn't interested, so that's probably what he would do. Concidering he hasn't he's probably still into you.

[Oliverlogan263]

That's a weird situation. A few things could be going on:

- Even if he wasn't as into you romantically, he still might like the attention and having you around as an option. Guys can be insecure too.

- Or maybe he really did still want something casual or to see where it goes, but just sucks at showing it since he's distracted/busy.

- Could be his pride got hurt that you called him out and pulled back first. Some dudes don't like not being in control

- He may have started kinda losing interest but wasn't fully done yet since it had only been a month. Things fade faster these days.

Who knows. Either way it's probably not worth the headache trying to figure him out. If he's not treating you right or making you a priority, I'd just keep your distance. Not worth wasting time being confused over some dude who can't communicate. Plenty more fish and all that. Don't give him too much thought - his deal is his deal.

[normalice]

He probably was counting on you being his backup option.

[Asker]

Thats Not a reason to cry though

[normalice]

If one's self worth hinges on the belief that he is the sort of guy who could have backup options, yes.

[ProbablyClueless]

Because your assessment of his interest was incorrect. He was actually into you.