How should I respond to not being my boyfriend’s preference?

[Anonymous]

Recently, my boyfriend and I got into an argument because I was showing him Pinterest hairstyles and he said he liked a hairstyle that looked exactly like his ex’s hair (the girl in the picture even looked like her). We got into an argument because it made me upset that he continually mentions that he likes that look and it looks nothing like me. In the past he commented on how she looks like a model and has told me to do that hairstyle which is almost impossible for me because it’s a very curly but I have straight-ish hair. Every time he talks about his type/preferences, it’s exactly what she looks like. The body type, hair, fashion, everything. But I look and dress nothing like that. And a part of me wishes I was his preference in some way even though I like the way I look. I know I’ll get criticized by comments for being insecure but I’m just curious on how to respond or how others feel about this type of situation.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh girl, I completely understand why that would make you feel insecure! No one wants to hear their partner constantly comparing them to their ex looking better. That is just tactless of him.

First thing I'd say is try not to change yourself just to fit some imaginary mold. You are fabulous just as you are! But also don't be afraid to tell him how his comments actually made you feel - hurt and not good enough. Use "I feel" statements.

Ask him to be more mindful about not always bringing up his "type" in front of you. See how he responds - if he's dismissive or upset you brought it up, big red flag. If he apologizes and makes an effort, maybe it was just cluelessness on his part.

Ultimately you need to feel truly loved for who YOU are in this relationship. Don't settle for less just to avoid conflict. Your feelings are valid - stand up for yourself girl! You deserve to feel like someone's #1 preference.

[Emanon25]

He shouldn’t do or say that. He sees you as his ex not as who you are.

[Jooying]

But... do you know what part of you that he's falling in love with? If you're totally not the type of girl he would like, then what makes him like you at first?
If similar things happen to me, I would have a serious conversation with him and talk about it.

[Anonymous]

What body type , hair , fashion he likes? What are u into?

[Opinion Owner]

Well fashion is changeable. What’s your taste in fashion, what’s his?

[Opinion Owner]

And every hairstyle can be done on straight hair. In fact curly hair is difficult to work on so I don’t see the trouble

[Asker]

Yeahh impossible was an exaggeration. I think it’s called 3C curls so it would be time consuming and difficult.

[Opinion Owner]

How does she look , how u look

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t see any model having 3c hair

[jahaims]

Accept it and stop being insecure.