What should I do when my boyfriend treats me like I’m an option rather than a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

[lightbulb27]

you mean when you are expressing your concerns or needs he's bailing out of the discussion... deflecting, avoiding?

[Asker]

Yes. A lot of times he just says “whatever” and it makes me feel like I’m invalid in the relationship

[lightbulb27]

ok, wanted to make sure I was understanding. Yes, that is frustrating and what he said is VERY hurtful... a slap in the face. I had my bouts of denial of what my wife was saying about me. you're a good girlfriend for staying in the "battle"... love is a battlefield as the song goes. What kind you ask... one of perspectives.
Try not to take it so personal... you are hitting a nerve and he is deflecting because he doesn't want to believe what you are saying, doesn't want to hear it, and maybe doesn't want the fight. This is the problem when two people don't agree on something and context/specifics may be required to figure out. There is a LOT of growth in this IF you are willing to keep working it and IF he is willing to open up and learn.

He needs to learn how to communicate, but he's going to have to want to else you are pulling an alligator out of the water (hard). You are going to have to pull him to the table and have him read this or something like it so he knows this is a common issue, he can't run and has to do work.. possibly counseling... but that's $$$$ to deal with basic relationship communications skills that most of us don't get, can learn on your own.

Here's some basic realities
* in relationship we are dealing with the little children inside the adult
* People don't want to change... by 15 or so... we are baked, and probably screwed up in many areas
* People don't see themselves as clearly as their intimate partner does

* and so they will avoid, deflect, fight, etc.. to maintain their "truth". Opening up to be vulnerable, listening, and talking respectfully with boundaries is the way out of the emotional box of relationship death. And that's what you are in.

[spartan55]

Stop letting yourself get treated that way
... duh

[AddylynnNightingale]

You choose a different option and dump the current one.

[Summeroflove]

Find someone else maybe. Everyone has options almost anyone but you should be with someone for the reason that you like THEM and that is why you picked them

[ConspiracyTheorist]

Their are other dudes out their that will treat you like you matter you just have to find him

[boobliker]

be-friend him do the same back if he not like he may change or dump you what ever you will be in a better place in your life too

[mT2359]

How do you wa t to bring treated. That will give you the answer to what to do.

[Anonymous]

Because you're treating him like a boyfriend so he treat you like option...
Change the game...

[EmmaMary]

Dump the loser... Simple.

[TroyDT2]

Dump him. You can do better.

[Voldra]

Make better choices in a partner.

[Snedger____]

Treat him the same way

[MiseriaCantareAFI]

So, you're saying, he has lots of women?

[ThebestIndian]

Show him how many options you have

[TheSpaceGnome]

Dump him.

[Gökbörü]

Break up with him