What do I get my bfs parents for meeting for the first time?

[Anonymous]

I’ve never met a significant others before, especially since I’m meeting them at their house I don’t want to go empty handed. I want to bake but I may not be the best cook, other people expressed liking what I bake but I don't know if they are just being nice, or if I should get cookies from a bakery. I also don’t know what to wear especially since it’s summer and hot out.

[OlderAndWiser]

I would not go to great lengths to get them a gift; it will appear that you are trying too hard. Perhaps just a $10-15 bottle of wine.

It is warm and you want to be cool but you also do not want to reveal too much. If you are meeting during the daytime, a nice sundress would be appropriate. If you are meeting at night, a navy skirt and a white or ivory blouse is a classic look.

[osmanthus]

Depends on the cultural background of the parents. If you're unsure whether or not they would welcome baked goods in the first place, it's a safe bet to buy a little something but not something expensive.

If this is an informal visit... and...

If the parents are conservative, likely, don't visit wearing a dress or low cut tops or anything that shows a lot of skin like a dress shirt and dress slacks or capris.

If the parents are more liberal and typical American, I'd stick to a knee high floral summer dress + cardigan + wide brim hat + sandals or canvas espadrilles + small over shoulder purse. Leave the perfume out and use antiperspirant only if you need to.

[osmanthus]

The best bet is usually to visit and don't shoe any tattoos or piercings unless you know the parents also have them and won't care. No shirts that have lewd or crass sayings. Keep clothes clean and pressed and hair minimally styled but brushed through.

[osmanthus]

Don't over accessorize. A leather watch or bracelet or necklace is fine and maybe a ring. Small stud earrings and a necklace with a single gem usually go well together if they aren't large and too much of a statement.

[osmanthus]

Conservatives usually like blue, black, white, grey, and tan. Liberals are more likely flexible on what colors are appropriate like oranges, reds, etc. especially in America.

Overall, don't over complicate the attire. Keep it simple. Keep it decent. And keep it appropriate for both the occasion and the cultural background of the parents.

[osmanthus]

Solid colors over intricate patterns. Block dresses and one color dresses or shirts. Non clashing color pallet of dress to shoes to cardigan. Be easy on the eyes—unless you're sure the parents are rocking the rockstar looks or something other than what's generally accepted semi-formal office attire.

[osmanthus]

Don't wear too much face make up. A mild color lipstick or tinted balm or slight blush or contour is acceptable in most cases with a light touch of nude eyeshadow and eyebrow liner minimal. If possible, go mostly fresh and bare faced unless you have tattoos to cover up. Painting hand or toe nails is optional.

[osmanthus]

Most parents have no problems with hairstyles that are natural, meaning, how the hair naturally falls. They might raise a brow if you have way too much fizz or fuzz going on as if you didn't condition much. But, for the most part, if you're not bald or have a hairdo like half your head is buzzed, parents don't usually give the side or stink eye.

[osmanthus]

For very obvious reasons, if you head is half buzzed and you know the parents are conservative, no harm in temporarily donning a natural hair color wig. It's useful if you won't be seeing the parents regularly.

[osmanthus]

This also would apply if your head has tattoos. If you are naturally bald for whatever reason, the decision is up to you whether you feel the parents would be accepting of that.

[osmanthus]

Partially bald persons might also want to heed the wig recommendations, if they feel themselves too self conscious or that the parents might judge them too harshly for having a bald spot. It's best to talk to the daughter/son and have them ask on your behalf, if the decisions are too crippling for you to make alone or with the help of your partner.

[osmanthus]

Keep nails clean and uniformly the same length to each finger and if you have bangs make sure they can see your eyes (sweep them off the the side or cut or curl them).

[osmanthus]

If your hair falls past the middle of your back and its going to be troublesome, tie it or wrap it up to the top of your head. You may choose to adorn the hair or wrap with cute or antiquated clips, ties, etc.

[osmanthus]

Hairstyles wherein part of the head is half a color usually isn't a good impression for American parents. Highlights or lowlights, yes. Ombre. Yes. Perm. Sure. But anything too complex like that of Angelo Seminara's works is best covered up by a wig as well as any complex nail art or nails that are unusually long.

[osmanthus]

I get that some people want to go in looking authentic and some have a 'devil may care' approach to it, however, if the end goal is not to piss of the parents, it's usually a good practice to do so as a sign of respect towards them.

[osmanthus]

Socioeconomic background also factors into what you buy. It's hard to justify showing up with $1000 gift like a bottle of wine, if the parents are working class and their salary wouldn't afford such easily. It might be somewhat rude to do so. For most working class people, a gift around $35 to $60 is appropriate.

[osmanthus]

Usually a consumable like food or beverage or, rarely, textile or kitchenware or other. Depends on culture.

For example, an Indian family might welcome incense candles if you can't find their preferred dessert or finger food.

[provokeesmokee]

Ask your boyfriend - he grew up with them and this will also let you know how he treats his parents and how his relationship is with them.

Bake a test batch with your boyfriend of a cookie recipe you like/they like. Chocolate chip or sugar cookies are easy neutral favourites. Let him taste test for ya.

As for what to wear, something weather appropriate, not too formal, and that helps you feel like you.

Don't pretend to be someone. Just be you. That's who they want to meet.

[AviatorTom]

For the first meeting, nothing is fine. Just be yourself. They'd like to meet you, not your baking skills. After the first meeting, you can see what they like, and consider bringing that in a future meeting.

[rachel776]

Fran's salted caramels for the mother and the father will be happy you did that for her

[nawtee_me]

Nice clothes like a summer dress and talk to your boyfriend to see if he thought they might enjoy a good bottle of wine. Will you all be having a meal? Pair it with a red or white wine.

[Iron_Man]

Buy them tickets to the Phantom of the opera

[Alex-Snow]

Flowers are always nice or a bottle of wine