Should I just tell him I like him or shouldn't I? I receive mixed signals?

[Anonymous]

I like him soo much. But our situation is a bit complicated, i would say, i receive mix signal. Not sure if im just overthinking and being delulu that sometimes he likes me (when he do something ‘sweet’- which actually can just be a friendly thing to do, god knows)

I want to confess ofcourse dearly hoping he would accept me. But even if that’s not the case, i hope at least we can maintain our friendship to which most probably i don’t think thats possible as he once said if someone confess to him and he didn’t like back, it will be the end for them

So im in major dilemma. I want to let my feelings out so that i can get a proper closure, but at the same time im scared to ruin the whole friendship thing

[shesochic12]

Ok let's look at the fact that he just happened to say "if someone confesses to me and I don't like them back, it's be the end for them." (I'm guessing he means their friendship). That part is key. He could have been giving you a heavy hint that he knows you possibly like him and he doesn't want to hurt you so he'd like you to keep it to yourself. Also, a guy that's interested probably wouldn't say this around a girl they like, they wouldn't want any doubt to be in her mind about the possibility of them being together, unless they specifically named the person they were referring to.

I know what it's like to have strong feelings bottled up for a crush. If you feel you really can't take it anymore, then you have to tell him. Maybe say something clever like "I'm sorry I can't be friends with you anymore." He'll probably be shocked (if he's not, that's a sign too, a bad one possibly) and ask why. Then tell him you enjoy his friendship but over time you realized that he's such a great guy and list whatever traits that you like about him and that you like him more than a friend.

If he's not sure how to react, give him a few days. If he really values your friendship, he'll try to work things out and not be rude about it. If he doesn't like you, well, as he told you, he'll tell you goodbye.

So the choice is yours.

Take a chance and lose the friendship?

Or suffer in silence?

I wish you the best!

[Asker]

You had a point right there :’)
Maybe if i ask “are you sure all this while we are just a friend and nothing more” do u think its a good question for me to be able to get his answer on our situation?

Thanks tho

[zeitgeist057]

You picked up on the heavy hint, though there is a slight chance it was just in casual conversation. That's for OP to judge based on inflection and scenario.

I think it's better NOT to tell people, just show them. If they like you back in the same way, they will show you as well and you can get to the part where you are so close and sweet with each other without needing an "let's make it official" conversation.

[zeitgeist057]

or also, they don't reciprocate and at that point it's time to face the facts: they aren't into you the way you are into them. It's hard not to be delulu about this, but you gotta take that part into consideration as well.

[HollyK21]

I think friendship only works when it’s purely platonic on both ends. Otherwise, you suffer in silence and I don’t think any relationship is worth that sort of damage. Confessing is a scary idea but at least afterwards you’d know where you two stand so you can act accordingly.

[diversethought]

Start touching him more. Not in a sexual way. Hug him. Start by wearing something low-cut. Be more than usual flirty. He probably doesn't see your interested, we can be dumb. And there is the go kiss him aspect. If he's straight, not has a woman, he'll kids you back. See what goes from there. Also, be ready to take the risk.

[diversethought]

Kiss you back*

[Asker]

I did try touching him abit here and there because he always touch me first. But still kinda hard to determine how he feels because i notice he do touch all the girl as well, but not sure to such extent that he did to me or not. Him putting his hand on other people shoulder etc, im used to seeing it. But with me, he would sometimes hold hand, interlock finger, touch my laps (which all of this, i can't try to see if he did to others or not because if he did, maybe he will do more in a private set)
So when i touch him, i tried but not too much cuz im scared if he think i desperately wants him

[diversethought]

Holding hands is intimate! Kiss his cheek? If he looks at you in that way after you pull away, go for it. I'm a social guy, but I don't hold hands with females like that, unless...

[Asker]

Not brave enough to kiss his cheek haha

[zeitgeist057]

okay then play with his hair for a start.

[Asker]

@zeitgeist057 sounds like a good idea

[lightbulb27]

You can float the idea with out stating your intention, he should know it...

"Comes a time for confesing feelings... don't you agree? Otherwise what's he point of the feelings in the first place?"

then take hand and walk somewhere else and move onto next discussion.

[Asker]

U mean i should say that to him?

[lightbulb27]

Yes. And talk about how there's more ways than verbally to convey. he's probably afraid of intimacy and will vbe tough project.

[AviatorTom]

It never hurts to tell someone you like them. If they like you too, you have the beginning of a relationship. If they don't like you too, you'll know it's time to find someone else. Either way, it's a plus.

[BarryLiverstone]

Gotta agree with Holly. You can have friends and that’s genuine but if you develop romantic feelings it’s best to let them know. That’s not going to ruin the friendship because you had good times in the past and some trust has built up. But more-so if you just remain friends rn it’s like living a lie. They may also have feelings for you.


I’d say just go for it. If we flip the script you would want a guy telling you how he felt right?

[DishLady]

So then don’t say anything if he specifically said that. Wait for him to take the lead and say it first.

[Asker]

But he once told me he would never confess first. He will just give the girl hint, and hope for the girl to confess first🥲

Yet he also say about ending things if bla3..

[DishLady]

You’re overthinking this — and if he’s giving conflicting signals he’s not worth your time and attention anyway.

in my opinion, don’t say anything. Move on.

[SunnyRS]

Once you start liking someone more than a friend, you can never be just friends until you deal with those feelings.
So, I would suggest you do tell him, if it works out great if it doesn't at least you tried and not stuck on what ifs.
And even if it doesn't work then with you can both go back being friends someday possibly.

[LaurenM1997]

What’s the mixed signals? you never put it into context what it was

[Asker]

He do sometimes treat me more than a friend, everyone see that as well. But at the same time, he also kinda act/say something that trying to say we are just friend. Its always 50-50

[LaurenM1997]

So basically trying to play with your feelings right?

[Asker]

I would say maybe yes?

[LaurenM1997]

So if yes then you need to leave it because he will just mess with your head

[dustybiker2]

Regrets can last a lifetime. Rejection only burns for a while.

[Nikki1989]

Tell him. You have nothing to lose really.

[Kit_Kat88]

Look him straight in the eyes and touch his arm. Tilt your head down just a tinybit and seductively glance up at him.

[Kit_Kat88]

He should get the memo

[Static_In_The_Attic]

If you snooze you lose & if you don’t tell him I’m sure someone else will.

[Anonymous]

Are you really going to be okay being “just friends” if he’s not interested in dating?

[Asker]

Well.. thats a good quest.. maybe yes, but just not as close?

[Opinion Owner]

You want to watch him date other girls and see him having feelings for them?

You can do what you want. You can be (and should be) friendly if somebody respectfully rejects you. But you will never be real friends.

[Asker]

No.. that would hurt so bad..

Fair enough tbh.. then, should i just.. confess, and if it ends the way i want- thats great. If he rejects- be a stranger (?)..
At least that will be the truest feeling of me to him🤔

[Opinion Owner]

Well you can’t control someone else’s attraction they have or lack thereof for you.

But seeing the person again and again is painful. And from my experiences women are just way too confident that men they reject are going to be completely fine with being “friends only”.

Ah no. It’s not a sexual issue but a respect one. When attraction is involved it changes the entire dynamic. And the person who is NOT interested needs to respect the other persons feelings.

[thisAppIsGarbage]

Lol. Telling people what you feel and want is stupid. You should never do that and expect to get what you want anyway...

[In_Trance]

Closure is overrated
Your friendship is already ruined

[spartan55]

How is it complicated?

[Asker]

Cuz its giving mix signal. And SOMETIMES might involve 3rd person

[spartan55]

You're going to have to elaborate. There is nothing to go on here.

[Asker]

Me and him started with. We do be acting like a couple. Straightly like a couple, nothing less. However, a lot of times i can't really go out with him as he wish because of a certain reason. Then fast foward, there is this new girl coming into his life. And he say he like her, and she likes him back. But when i say are they official, he say no. And maybe won't (he's trying to say smtg ard the line like its not worth it to pursue now bla3) and whenever i bring topic about her, he will always compare back with me. For instance, when he say he and that girl only go our 3times per week, i say thats fine, then he immediately will say “but we everyday”..

But the entire time from the beginning, up until now, he still act sweetly with me.. Also, He once started to talk about how he can pickup a girl rejection infront of me and my friend (to which it seems like he pointed it to me, where he mistook my rejection going out with him all this while as a rejection)

[spartan55]

"you can't really go out with him for a certain reason"... which is?

[Asker]

Because he always want to go back late around 10pm but (as cliche as it might sound) but my parents won't allow that. And instead of rebelling with parents about that, im trying to give my parents trust about him hence i will always go back early as per requested (6-7pm max) so if one day he invited to go out around 5ish, i already start to reject because its not enough time for us to go out and enjoy our time

[Blueeyes81]

Nothing ventured, Nothing gained.

[Anonymous]

Why u like them so much

[Asker]

Its hard to exactly pinpoint the reasons. Guess just my heart say so. Cuz apart from the affection i get from him, there is also other things he did to me that hurts my feeling, but that didn’t stop me from liking him. Nothing will actually. I have been holding this nearly a year just to see is it simply a crush thing or what, but now i have figured it is indeed a true feelings.

[Opinion Owner]

What’s so special about them

[Asker]

Nothing to be honest

[DreamLife7]

He doesn't like you