After how many dates/meetings does a guy ask to be your boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’m 26. So I’m curious how long it takes for girls to date a guy and he asks the question.

I never had a guy ask to be my boyfriend ever.
mine guy I dated past years never asked to be my boyfriend and denied meet family.

I fear any guy that shows interest will never ask to be my boyfriend & I’ll forever have this anxiety of what are we? 😓

only a guy in Ireland asked me to be his girlfriend without even meeting in person & he planned his future with me but we never met as he was too far I couldn’t travel to Ireland every other month & live there.

only one guy I’m talking to at moment he also is long distance but he got job closer to me this summer so we’ll meet this month for 2nd time. Again he acts like my boyfriend but there’s no label. I wonder how long I need wait til and if he asks that question to me.

[Nirmroth]

With my first girlfriend it was right after the first date.

But now usually at the 6~ date after around 3 months of consistent dating.

[Asker]

I cannot date a guy for 3 months with no label that’s waste of time.

[Asker]

I don't know y guys don’t ask to be their girlfriend. 😞

[Nirmroth]

Well you're not dating me are you?

Bec some see it as something serious and not to make a hasty decision about. Would never be exclusive with a girl when we didn't have sex at least once either. Sex compatibility is a thing.

[Asker]

What if you have sex and guy denies be your boyfriend as u had sex? That happened to me once so now I’m traumatized 😞 I want a boyfriend not sex

[Asker]

If you have sex all boys will say no I don’t want a girlfriend and reject the girl as he got sex from her already. Then girl dumps him
And he don’t care and looks for new girl to use for sex and be single forever

[Nirmroth]

It would be the same as when he denied you for not beeing a fit personality wise. At least I dont see the difference. If you seek something serious long term this is one of the traits some seek in a partner.

there's ofc asexual people aswell.

Yes but sex is just a healthy part of a relationship, this wasn't meant to make it sound like sex is everything that matters.

[Nirmroth]

Ye but then he wasn't really interested in you in the first place. You could feel that out by avoiding sex until at least 1-2 months in. I guess most who only there for that won't stay for that effort.

[Asker]

But your confusing me you said you won’t make a. girlfriend your girlfriend unless u guys have sex now u r saying I can’t hav sex with a guy for 1-2 months?

[Nirmroth]

Yep and then I usually ask around the 3 month mark. Waiting for 1-2 months doesn't matter to me.
~3 months dating + having sex once = asking to be exclusive

[Asker]

That’s nasty to me becuase what if I date many boys 3 months and have sex once as u say and none become my boyfriend and it was a waste of time dating them so long? And my body count would be high from dating so many guys and having sex that’s disgusting 😓

[Asker]

I believe men should ask right away , or else dating 3 months is waste of time.

[Nirmroth]

you're saying this like many first dates for you lead to second or third aswell. As someone active in the dating world rn I must say its pretty rare for dates to go past the third one. Usually if that happens its already pretty save you end up toghether

[Nirmroth]

Its never a waste of time to take time and consideration. Its the relationships that go to fast that usually fail.
What are you in such a hurry to get a boyfriend for?

[Asker]

That’s not true , to me dating a guy 3-10 years and doing eveything slow is a waste of time. What if 10 years pass and guy never married you and then ur 40? I don’t like guys that do things slow.

[Asker]

I’m not a whore I’m not a party girl club girl, I want a first boyfriend before I’m 30. I’m 27 this year I want a first boyfriend I’m done focusing on school & my career I need a boyfriend to share life with me. My dream is have 3 sons.

[Nirmroth]

What does marriage suddenly have to do with dating behaviour? No one says that beeing considerate during dating leads to long dry years were nothing happens.

But I am not here to discuss with you why dont want to wait 3 months until you are exclusive.

If you want a man who will jump into a rl with you on moments notice then seek yourself someone like that. Dating is a grind and I am sure you will find the right one for you were it just fitts.

[Nirmroth]

Just dont make rash decicions is the advice I can give you. Life usually never turns out that way how we imagine it. I thought I be married by now but yet here I am aswell

[Asker]

I’m just scared cuz I never had a boyfriend and it don’t exist a guy wants sex til marriage. I don’t find any guy that thinks like that.

And if a guy likes me I don’t feel attraction to him. The one guy I loved that liked me back is a guy that I wasn’t able exhange numbers with so we lost contact. Then the only guy that wanted be my boyfriend was a guy in Ireland. I fear no guy exists for me. I still don’t have an offical boyfriend I just want talking to one guy and we have a lot in common but I don't know if he’ll want me as his girlfriend or not. We will meet for the second time this month and I fear the worst

[Asker]

That guy I dated years ago really traumatized me. And now I fear all guys will be same as him and don’t want girlfriend and only want sex.

That’s y I don’t like your idea of have sex date 3 months, that’s gross and will just make me body count super high if I do that and no guy ends up being my boyfriend if we date 3 months and no label

[Asker]

So why you aren’t married yet?

I’m not married cuz I’ll be 27 and never even had a first boyfriend. No one wants even be my first boyfriend. Lol

[Nirmroth]

Thats just how it is sometimes. Its in human nature to chase the unobtainable and reject what is readily aviable.

Guys who wait for sex until marriage definitly do exist. Have you looked in religious circles for example? Its just uncommon.

Take a deep breath its just the second time are you even sure you want him yet?

[Nirmroth]

I can understand. Remember, I am just a single opinion who replied to your question. I do not represent the male population of this world neither does your ex who traumatized you.

If you dont feel comfortable having sex before beeing exclusive then dont, its as simply as that.

you're getting way to much into panic mode, I was like you when I was 18 but if you find the right person you will feel stupid seeing how everything just seemingly fell into place. The right person will make you feel comfortable and not worry whetever you have to provide sex within a 3 month mark or whatever.

[Nirmroth]

Im not married bec I am single since 2 years. My first rl lasted 8 years and now I am just happy enjoying my single life.

by the way desperation smells and it smells bad. It will turn away men and women alike I found.

[Asker]

I’m not 18 I’ll be 27 and never had a first boyfriend. I’m the most romantic loving woman on the planet no one gives me a chance. I’m having hard time force mylsef comit to guys I don’t like back.

I fear no one I like or love me back.

I tried church dating app and only one guy wanted marriage meet family girlfriend kids but I don’t like him back. Even my mom laughed when I showed her a pic of him.

[Asker]

I don’t say any of this to any guy tho , but i just hide all this stress and worry inside me and cry when I’m alone. So no I don’t act desperate with any guy.

[Nirmroth]

Ik I was just comparing your mindset to my old one.

You dont comit to guys you dont like are you stupid sry. I would feel like shit if my girlfriend would only use me for money, children but isn't even attracted to me. Dont do that to yourself or others.

And maybe you will be 32 until you finally have your first boyfriend. You have to realize that some aspects in Life is simply not controllable.

Try to make the best out of the situation you're in right know. Shocking but getting kids or a man isn't all there is in life to strive for.

Have you tried other dating apps aswell? Ik theyre all a mess but its the fastest way to get to know potentially interested people.

by the way were are you from? If you're from US I might know a guy who could potentially be for you

[Asker]

we’ll i fear the guys I like won’t want be my boyfriend and. No guy I like will like me
Back

[college-student2021]

Everyone is different, some ask you to date them after 2 dates , others after two or one month.

[college-student2021]

If you want to avoid situationships , be clear what you want from the start with them. And let the dice fall where they may.

[HaleyWalker]

I'm just sitting here like meetings picturing like a job meeting. Lol

[Anonymous]

5 dates

[Asker]

What if you go on 5 dates or more and guy never asks the question?

[Opinion Owner]

Then he’s not ready for a girlfriend yet

[Asker]

No guy I meet will ever want a girlfriend then, how I’ll get a first boyfriend then at age 27?

[Asker]

I know all new boys will act like my boyfriend and never ever give me label.

[Opinion Owner]

be nice be sweet have something in common with him dress nicely and smile show enthusiasm

[Asker]

I do all that shit , I make them laugh and they never give label. I am barley gunna see a new guy for 2nd meeting this month as we are long distance. I’m sad crying as I fear he won’t prooose to be his girlfriend & I’ll need dump him after meeting 😞 I dress up nice cute sweet loving romantic make them laugh , and that don’t make guys want be my boyfriend. None of that shit works. I deserve girlfriend & wife title 😞 I’m 27 soon. No one see I’m the love of his life no one sees me as the one

[Asker]

Me & that guy have a lot in common. But that doesn’t make guys propose me. Nothing I do is good enough

[Opinion Owner]

Try Christian mingle