Is there a reason that my dating attempts failed, while I prefer a long-term relationship with just one man?

[CaitlinSims25]

I'm a woman with a learning disability and my age is 25 years old. I been meeting new men both from online dating and meeting men at social events so far with some soicail i was attracted to one guy at social events called adult gaming but did end up faded after talking and saw him hugging a woman. The other men at Meet N Match that i met at other social events i didn't find them as attracted but saw them as friends. Is going to be back this Thursday. The two other guys that I saw at adult gaming i might be attracted to guys without glasses and maybe guys with glasses on but didn't get the chance to say talk to the one with glasses on. I had 9exbfs. I'm going out a lot more. I'm sometimes still looking at online dating but not as much as I used to. I'm okay with talking to some people. I'm seem to be having problems with dating and I'm only allowed to date or be in a relationship with a moderate learning disabilities men. My mum made the rules for only me when it comes to dating and relationship or my mum will ban me from dating or relationship even if I don't want to date some men with a learning disability. Is there a reason that my dating attempts failed, while I prefer a long-term relationship with just one man?

[RingOfFire]

This is a tough one to answer because we cannot know the nature of your learning disability and how it shapes your life.

But the first thing that comes to mind reading what you wrote is that you are not a child and it may not be appropriate for your mother to be setting rules about who you can and cannot date.

I think it's very likely that you're mother has your best interest in mind and is trying to steer you towards people she thinks you will be compatible with. But that is not necessarily the kind of person that is right for you. Only you can know who is right for you. That's the very nature of relationships. You have to choose people based on your needs and desires not someone else's.

So without giving this a lot of more thought, the first thing I might suggest you do is think about the kind of person you want to meet and look for that kind of person.

And consider having a loving discussion with your mother to explain if you feel that what I said above is correct and you would like to make your own choices in that regard. Hopefully she will understand if you explain it to her clearly that you want to make your own choices and that's what makes you happy.

You sound like a really nice person. I wish you all the best...

[CaitlinSims25]

discussion with mother will not get me any closed to what i want and talk about men and try to explain it that why can't i date men without a learning disability to my mum and said take advantage of my vulnerable and yep even take R word. or my mum will banned me from dating or be in relationship. if i don't listen and do what i wanted to date or be in a relationship. that i'm also struggling getting attracted to some men other men i just see as just friends one men i was attracted but has faded. not sure about the two other guys

[RingOfFire]

I think the biggest problem you have is that your mother is controlling who you can and cannot date. You already have been finding it challenging to find someone. I don't think it is helpful for your mother to put even more restrictions on your choices. That just makes it even harder.

So maybe your problem is that you are not casting a wide enough net to try to meet a man that may not be what your mother wants, but might be what you need.

[CaitlinSims25]

I can't even cast my net very high or my mum will banned from dating if I don't do what she Wants me to only date men with a moderate learning disabilities. Did change rules bit. Nothing she will not listen to me at all.

[RingOfFire]

I think that makes it more difficult for you to meet someone. Do you agree? Do you think that is part of the problem?

[CaitlinSims25]

Yep I can't get way from my stubborn feminist mum. she even comes with me on dates and going to social events and my mum comes with me to. My mum doesn't trust no one.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Lots of people from both genders are in a similar boat to you. The unfortunate reality is most people don't want long term connection without sex at the forefront. Many don't even want to commit to anything long term until many months and years of sex already and they often still don't know.

That's why I think bring upfront with your plans, goals, and intentions works best for a relationship. We all only need it to work one time and I think when things aren't predicated on sex you'll be forced to really get to know that person better and in the end it'll be worth it.

[CaitlinSims25]

What if I'm been upfront and honest and I'm still not being successful

[bobby_bush_eater]

@caitlinsims25 if I had that answer I'd be married with children lol but I still believe that's the best route

[CaitlinSims25]

Yep but is been very more difficult. Not many social events left. None in my town.

[bobby_bush_eater]

@caitlinsims25 maybe look for a club or group that ties into a hubby or potential interest of yours... Even if you don't meet someone specifically to date mutual friends can be a great way to network and then meet someone. I know it's all easier said than done

[CaitlinSims25]

My interest are gaming , birds, animales and YouTube. there is none like that in my town same with learning disability group. have to live there to take part of it. only clubs i might be too old foir youth club are only thing that for learning disability and as adult social events that are not in my town

[FreyaRed]

No offense but "learning disability" is often uses as synonym for different mental limitations. I think a high IQ man would be better for you than a less gifted one with intelligence. Similarities in appearance and character are important but two or three big differences bring the spice in a relationship.
I'm not a dating site expert because I don't use them but I have a little bit clue about photography. A picture where your face looks symmetrical and has good proportions gives a positive first impression.

[CaitlinSims25]

Did you not read my details about that I got a hidden disability. That what learning disabilities is called hidden. I can't get high IQ can be jerks to. I'm too good looking for women being good looking they reject me.

[LiamJHayden]

Dating for long-term can be difficult in our age group because it seems like most are just wanting to have a series of fly-by-night relationships.

[Loner111]

There's a lot of reasons why people are si gle, it is not just one reason or the other.

[CaitlinSims25]

Why do you not understand what I want a long term relationship but can't even get in one or find men that are interested in a long term relationship.

[SotiCoto]

Stop using the "learning disabilities" euphemism and actually say what you mean clearly and precisely.

[CaitlinSims25]

I did what I actually said and learning disabilities is not a euphemism. Is part of disorder as can be intelligent disability or hidden disability that you can't see How does this solve anything?

[Asian-male]

No , some men prefer that

[CaitlinSims25]

do you read anything about my detail or not? don't put yes/no.

[Asian-male]

I got well what you mean by post..
And i told some men also want long term relationship with one lady

[CaitlinSims25]

Yes but I can't get any near lon term relationship. Again how this solve anything?

[CaitlinSims25]

Long term relationship.

[Asian-male]

I hope you will find.. best of luck 👍

[MasterKS]

why your mom making trouble here?

[CaitlinSims25]

My mum always be like this and is making is more difficult.

[MasterKS]

@caitlinsims25 followed you.

[CaitlinSims25]

Do you not fucking read my fucking details I can't choose or my mum will banned me from dating.

[CaitlinSims25]

This what help not.