A guy I'm seeing hasn't reached out in 4 days. Should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Are you lonely, desperate or just too eager to be with this person? If you’re none of these things, then why after 6 months are you cool with no traction? This is the exact opposite of gaining traction when he’s not only fine not speaking with you for days on end, but no sign of an official title in sight. A title should actually already been in place.
I don’t believe he is as serious as you are, and if you are confident and comfortable enough with yourself as a single woman then be patient and wait for a man who is worth your time and effort. This is not it and you don’t need me to tell you that.

[Asker]

You are way too quick to judge. We've known each other as acquaintances for 4, and have only been getting to know each other for 2. We have had the relationship conversation, but because of other circumstances have decided to take things slow. In that respect we are exactly where we need to be.

[Opinion Owner]

How is that judging? I read your comments to the other people before responding just to be sure nothing I say was already said, and in that respect, I’m simply repeating what you wrote. You’re sitting here trying to justify this situation and make excuses for him, as if having being acquaintances prior isn’t MORE incentive to be in a relationship at this point. Since you already know you get along, already know you like each other and already know you allegedly both want something serious. Those beginning dating stages is to figure all that shit out yet you already KNOW. Rather than be so defensive, recognize that this isn’t an attack on your character or decision making but things to genuinely ask yourself as another day of no contact passes. If you are not desperate, lonely or eager then why keep dealing with a man who is fine not speaking with you for days on end? Why worry, panic or suffer when a man who truly wants you would neverrr put you through that? Again, these are just talking points and nothing to take so personally.

[Booklover_90]

Have you reached out to him? Communication is a two way street.

[TommyMountainFigure]

It depends.. Was he supposed to contact you in those 4 days?

[Asker]

Technically, no.

[TommyMountainFigure]

How did you leave things when you met last?

[Asker]

I would like to think we left on good terms.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Sorry no. I mean did either of you say you would contact the other soon?

[Asker]

Yea we did

[TommyMountainFigure]

It's now 5 days. Still no sign of life from him?

[Asker]

Still 4. I was already counting today. Haha

[TommyMountainFigure]

I you against the idea of reaching out to him? Just to say something like you're worried that something may have happened to him, and could he let you know he's ok?

[TommyMountainFigure]

*Are.. not sure where that 'I' came from

[Asker]

At the moment, yes. Because based on past events the ball is now in his court.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Oh I see. In that case, how long will you give him before you decide he isn't worth waiting for?

[Asker]

Hopefully I won't have to decide that. How long would you give it?

[Asker]

I may decide to reach out at some point. We'll see.

[TommyMountainFigure]

It depends on a number of things. You see I don't play games with women's emotions. I'm a straight forward guy that you can trust. If I tell you I'll do something I'll do it. and if I don't? you can be certain I have a valid excuse for it! How I would have left it with you on that last date is, give me a couple of days and I will cal you.. and I would. If I wasn't going to call for a week, I would say that too. Also, if I had a terrible time, I would say look I'm sorry but there was no spark there and I would rather we didn't see each other... I LOATHE any sort of games when it comes to emotions!

[Asker]

See, I would have preferred this as well. If he had decided to no longer pursue the connection, I would rather hear it from him, then sit here wondering. We're adults. Especially at our age. We should be mature enough to have this conversation.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Exactly. But I think some people are cowards. They are so frightened of confrontation, they end up causing more hurt!

[Asker]

Again, I'm not afraid to reach out, but I do want to know that it is a two-way street.

[Asker]

And it's also possible that he may think I'm not interested if I choose to not do so.

Dating used to be easier back in the day!

[TommyMountainFigure]

How does this sound? "I assume the fact you haven't contacted me is that you are no longer interested.. but I at least thought you'd have the guts to tell me, instead of being a coward!

That way if it is over, you walk away being SO much stronger having taken back all the power he's taken from you. Or it could just make him wake up and realise what a dope he's being!

[Asker]

Thank you! Yeah, I think this is what it will come down to.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You're welcome.. just maybe wait until the 7 days are up before sending it? You may not need to.

[Anonymous]

How long have you known this person for

[Asker]

6 months. Been dating the last 2.

[Opinion Owner]

Was it serious dating or casual dating

[Asker]

Serious

[Danny_dan92]

Either he died, or he’s not interested anymore

[foxsquirrell]

I think so!