Am I Overthinking This First Date?

[Thatgirl_r]

Hi everyone,

I recently went on a first date that left me feeling a bit uncertain, and I wanted to get some opinions on whether I'm overthinking things or if my concerns are valid.

The date itself went well in terms of conversation—we got on really well. However, there were a few things that bothered me. He didn't do the simple gestures I'm used to, like holding doors open or pulling out my chair. I know it sounds trivial, but I believe the small things on a first date can give future indications.

I'm used to more chivalrous men. We even split the bill 50/50, which I wasn't expecting. I usually believe a man should pay on the first date, and I'm fine with paying for the second, etc. At the end of the date, he didn't even tell me to get home safe. We spent 20 minutes wandering around because he couldn't choose a restaurant and didn't really consider what I wanted to eat. Throughout the date, I felt like I was in my masculine energy the entire time.

For context, it took us two months to meet in person. He doesn't let me call him randomly; it has to be coordinated and takes a few days to arrange. He also seems to lack ambition, and I've been trying to help him with job interviews and career advice. Last night, I got frustrated and vented about everything I was feeling.

Was I justified in feeling this way, or am I expecting too much? I feel terrible for venting, but I just needed to get it off my chest. Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, let him go so he can find a better women who isn't so entitled and sexist and who appreciates him for the things that actually matter.

FYI, most guys are done with the sexist traditional gender roles women like you still try to perpetuate despite the fact women have fought so hard to abolish other traditional gender roles.

Personally, I always suggest splitting the bill on the first date. If she refuses, it will be our last date. If she pays half and the judges me for it, as you're doing here, she has done me the favor of showing her true colors early so I don't have to waste anymore time on her.

[Thatgirl_r]

FYI people have different cultures.

[Opinion Owner]

Right, some cultures are more sexist than others.

[Thatgirl_r]

Some cultures have their own customs. Not every culture is like the west. Grow up

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly, sexism is built into the cultures of countries like yours.

[spartan55]

I'd cut him loose, with respect. Let him know you aren't feeling it and best of luck to him. Blah blah blah.

[Thatgirl_r]

Thank you for not being rude to me I needed this

[spartan55]

You are welcome, good luck!

[spartan55]

Thanks for the MHO!

[Astarlessnightsky]

"The date itself went well"... What more do you need?

That should be more than enough to shedule a second date.

[Thatgirl_r]

It’s a gut feeling. Other than the date for the 3 months prior we had to schedule calls and I made him a priority whilst I’m quite busy compared to him

[dolemite58]

You went on a single date but are talking about his career aspects? That’s odd. Also why do you expect chivalry from men? This isn’t the 50’s anymore women can work and take care of themselves they don’t deserve any special treatment.

[Thatgirl_r]

We spoke for three months prior to meeting. People come from different cultures and in mine men are providers