Should I add an old colleague who I had a crush on?

[Anonymous]

I had this crush on a colleague I worked with for a few months. We never spoke because he was on a different team to me but I really wanted to get to know him. I’ve left that job now but I was wanting to add him on social media as I feel like I’ve got nothing to lose either he will accept or reject my follow request.

Do you think this is a bad idea?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, I can see why you'd be tempted to add him since you don't work together anymore. No harm in trying, right? But there is a chance it could get awkward if he's not into you like that.

A few things to consider:

- How long ago did you leave the job? If it was really recent he may not remember you that well.

- Does he actually know you had a crush back then? Men can be oblivious - he may have no idea.

- You said you never really spoke before. He could wonder why some old coworker he barely knew is adding him now.

- What if he rejects your request? Would that embarrass you?

My advice would be, wait a little longer before making the move - like at least a few months after leaving. In the meantime, maybe try getting a mutual friend to casually mention you to him and that you thought he was cute. Plant that seed!

Then after some time, send the add request along with a friendly message like "Hey, hope you're well, thought I'd say hi from my old job days". That way it's not totally out of the blue.

Play it cool - don't come on too strong since you didn't know each other well. With some time passed, he may be more open to connecting up with a familiar face. Just my two cents!

[strateguy632]

no because he thinks you are a stranger

[In_Trance]

Do you want to rail him or not?