He's mad I canceled?

Question

I've been on two dates with this guy. We had plans to go out again tonight and I had to cancel as I haven't been feeling well which he knows. I said "I'm so sorry but I'm not really up to going out tonight 😔" and he replied "Ok"... He texts a lot so this ok makes me think he's mad. What do I say?

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

He’s disappointed which is not the same thing as “mad”. Huge difference and he clarified he understands you don’t feel well. So what exactly did he do wrong?

From what you described he did absolutely nothing wrong. You are just getting all up in your head.

Just FYI he might of said “ok” in the beginning because he’s wondering if you are lying about not feeling well vs. just not wanting to date him anymore. Or worse he thinks you found a better option and want to hang out with the other guy on that given night instead of him. Women often give men bs excuses when they are not interested or losing interest. And they think making up lies and/or blowing a guy off is letting him down with gentle hands (it’s actually the exact opposite). Not saying you are doing that. But it’s extremely likely had that happen to him in the past.

You should of said “I’m not feeling well but let’s plan (a few days for now”. That would of made him feel more at ease you might not be fibbing.

ThaMaskedMarvel · Accepted Answer

He feels you are using your illness as a super convenient excuse to not see him again. After all, date #3 is a big deal. Any guy that gets a cancel for that date would be bummed out. He needs to know if you want to take things further -- & you need to tell him. Think a lot about it while you are recovering. Give a clear yes or no. You should know by now. This "I don't know what to say to that" stuff makes it look like you're playing games & will make him resent you. Text him back with an answer. If you roles were reversed, would you want someone to keep you hangin' like that?

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

I don't think he's mad. He barely knows you, and if he's had girls flake on him before, he probably just wants to make sure he isn't wasting his time or yours. "Taking things further" doesn't mean a proposal or sex is imminent. I would take it to mean he wants to know if you want to keep meeting up and getting know each other. If he meant something more, I'd clarify as needed.

avery58 · Accepted Answer

I would say that he just felt disappointed because he was looking forward to the date but that second message from him seems a little insecure.

Just tell him that you're interested in getting to know each other (if you are) and would be excited to see him when you recover.

AviatorTom · Answer

How is "OK" an indication of being mad? I'm sure he's disappointed but his "OK" just acknowledges that you won't be meeting, and he's ok with that. His follow-up proves that.

Let me offer a suggestion. We men are simple creatures. When we say something, it's almost always concise and factual, with no embedded meaning. If you women would stop trying to read between the lines when we men say things, you'll be a lot happier.

slatyb · Answer

Just "OK" seems rather cold to me. It would be normal to excited some sympathy and wish you a quick return to health. "I'm sorry, is the any thing I can do?"

It's not your job to read people's minds from vague clues. That way lies madness. Instead you should expect people to express their feelings directly and honestly, and you should do the same.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

So for me, the rule is it's okay for a girl to cancel, things come up. You can get sick. When I am still interested in her is when it reads more like this, "hey Mike sorry I am sick and I can't make it tonight. What are you up to Thursday?" After only two dates if a girl is saying she is sick and doesn't make future plans I just figure she is trying to ghost out. Which is fine.

spartan55 · Answer

You don't know that he is mad. It is over TEXT... stop assigning your own meanings to other people's messages.
He is prohably asking if you want to continue because you didn't offer to reschedule, which you 100% should do as the canceller.

Booklover_90 · Answer

He’s response doesn’t come off as angry to me. He seems genuinely interested in you. He just wants to know if  you’re  still interested. Girls in the past may have stood him up. Therefore, that’s probably why he asked.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't necessarily think he's mad. He might just be disappointed, and he might also be wondering if you are not interested, and that's why you cancelled. If you are interested, just respond and tell him you're sorry you weren't feeling up to a date and had to cancel, but you are looking forward to a raincheck.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Guys are always suspicious of “I’m not feeling too well, I don’t want to go out tonight”  it’s most woman’s go-to for blowing off a date to do something else

Truthatanycost · Answer

This guy will learn from this. He is caring about the 3rd date while the girl doesn't. This is what happens when a guy suffers from outcome dependency!

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Nothing. Just take him at his word! If he tells you there's nothing wrong, then there is nothing wrong. If there IS something wrong, he shouldn't lie about it!

ProbablyClueless · Answer

He's not necessarily mad, but he thinks you're using your illness as an excuse to get out of seeing him again. If you want to keep seeing him, you'll have to take the initiative to set up another date.

sheikalana · Answer

You're thinking too much. Get better. Give him a day and tell him you're feeling better and would like to schedule another date. Simple as that.

SotiCoto · Answer

In what way is "Ok" supposed to mean anything even tangentially related to madness?

Anonymous · Answer

I say you cancelled so it's up to you to mend the fence. Whether you were actually sick or not is not really relevant. There's a lot of game players in the dating world, and he doesn't know you from eve.

DishLady · Answer

If he knows yiir unwell he shouldn’t be mad… just check in with him and see what’s up.

Alex-Snow · Answer

He needs to understand that u are not into going out. It might be best to call him and explain rather than texting an explanation.

JacobJordan · Answer

Not mad based on update but you better decide quickly before he moves on.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

He probably just feels like you ghosted him on purpose. Girls do it all the time

DreamLife7 · Answer

U stfu ans say nothing duh. He said okay so he gets it

edmwarrior · Answer

Honestly, he sounds like he’s sus of you

DrPepper12 · Answer

Dont worry. Feel better!

Anonymous · Answer

Nothing he said indicates he was mad

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes he is

He's mad I canceled?

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I cancelled last minute, is it right for him to be this upset?