If a highly successful man hasn’t had a girlfriend and he’s 32, is that a red flag?

Question

I just started dating this man. He’s a successful lawyer, like works in big law, has lived in another country, lived in the biggest cities in the US and travels a couple times a year to major places. It’s all documented on his IG so it’s not lies. He’s attractive. He’s more quiet and reserved, and looking at his older Instagram posts, he was pretty scrawny and nerdy up until a few years ago. But since then he gained some muscle. He isn’t super tall, maybe 5’8/5’9 but he’s very cute. I get he’s busy with his career and is maybe a little socially awkward but it was a bit of a surprise when he told me he hasn’t ever had a real girlfriend and he doesn’t sleep around either. He seems very sweet and more of the soft romantic type and he wants something serious. I’m so confused how a guy like this is single and has been single for so long?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No. There’s a difference between when it comes to men vs women in a situation like this. Most times. He’s a career man. Maybe he wanted to climb that ladder. Maybe the women he met weren’t interested in that type of dating lifestyle. Maybe he knew he couldn’t commit a lot of time to a potential girlfriend. So to be fair he didn’t get involved in something he knew wasn’t going to work out. Traveling too as part of your career can be a challenging thing as well if you’re trying to balance things like work or a relationship. I wouldn’t call it a red flag. Just understand that he may be gone a lot. I don’t doubt that he would be unfaithful, he just won’t always be around. Unless he’s put that ladder climbing on hold to finally start a family.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

He might of not had a girlfriend but I am pretty sure he isn’t a virgin either , he probably focused on himself and his job and didn’t have time for a relationship, he probably just had Casual sex with girls through the years , How was he in bed? If he was good , than you are more than likely not his first

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

He's married to his work. Being ultra successful at your job means making sacrifices elsewhere in your life. Red flag isn't quite the right way to say it but expect that he'll be largely unavailable for a real relationship like he has his entire life. People like that don't do the whole work/life balance thing.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I would rather be single than with a guy that does not add social or emotional value to my life. I only consider physical benefits after emotional benefits have been proven and established.

HawkPerception · Answer

There are tons of great guys out there that have just not had the luck in finding the one for them. There are many reasons for this. For starters, most girls nowadays suck and high value men don't ever settle for less than the standards they set. Secondly, a lot of guys nowadays are on the more introverted and socially awkward side. There's not as many opportunities to socialize and social media has disconnected us in the grand scheme of things. And lastly, not every attractive guy out there is a player. Some have genuine morals/values and prevent themselves from sleeping around any time they get a chance.

BCA6010 · Answer

Not really.

The bigger issue to be watching is the fact he's a lawyer - depending on where he's going with that practice, he may be ingratiating himself with some scummy people over the course of that career, and it could easily start to affect your life if things get serious.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Not necessarily. That could just be what it looks like when a man has his priorities in order and wants to keep life free of drama in his 20s.

As for how he's stayed single for so long: relationships take two people. It could be that he simply never met a woman who particularly impressed him. Maybe he's tried dating women, but the women couldn't handle being the partner he needed them to be.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

He's just a very busy guy who works hard I bet. It's normal nowadays and getting more normal unfortunately.

He was likely too quiet and reserved or too "nice" for the girls when he was in his 20s and now he's in position where he's an attractive guy in the dating pool

spartan55 · Answer

"it's all documented on his ig so it's not lies..."... right, because everything on stupid Instagram is REAL...😂😂😒😂😂😂

Theodoricus · Answer

Sounds like good. Maybe, he focused on his career and ignored unnecessary women. All men are not same.

DarkLegacy · Answer

o you are only going out with because of what he looks like then. You would not have gone out with before that, how shallow, pathetic and childish.

DextroShade · Answer

It used to be, but not anymore considering the disaster that is the modern dating scene.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

What is the fascination with 'red flags?' If anything, shouldn't it be a black flag?

lightbulb27 · Answer

it's a flag to notice, I wouldn't run from what I heard so far.

Drewtate · Answer

No. It means he's been busy becoming a highly successful man.

Nice222 · Answer

He probably spent most of his 20s in school learning law and passing the BAR exams. The other years were spent getting established as a successful Lawyer. He invested a lot of time in himself and future relationships and potential Family.

genericname85 · Answer

not in my opinion. I mean these days: what Is really in a relationship for a man? I can understand it in this day and age.

Pohjolan · Answer

A guy can be a championship level athelete who looks like a taller Tom Cruise yet be undesirable to women. Welcome to modern dating.

Anonymous · Answer

definitely a red flag. he's obviously an incel

handsomelad70 · Answer

Some dudes aren't randy, or least don't prioritize girlfriends.

OddBeMe · Answer

How do you know he’s successful? How do you know he doesn’t fck prostitutes?

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

You gave the answer. He was a nerdy dude. Those type of men don't get women.

boggboss · Answer

Because he focused on his job lol

Anonymous · Answer

He is working and hasn't the time, I do 70 hour weeks so don't have the time to date

Anonymous · Answer

If he’s highly successful he doesn’t need a girl like you. You’re beneath him. Looks like you’re the one with the red flags

hahahmm · Answer

Sounds like a Sigma. Go look up sigma male.

chrissykerdock · Answer

he's probably very shy that's all

slatyb · Answer

That's not a red flag in itself. How's the sex?

Anonymous · Answer

Your description of him is.

ILIVEGODSLIFE · Answer

Yeah that he don't see the worth in you

In_Trance · Answer

Huge red flag

If a highly successful man hasn’t had a girlfriend and he’s 32, is that a red flag?

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If a guy is almost 30 and has never dated or had a girlfriend, is that a red flag?

If a highly successful man hasn’t had a girlfriend and he’s 32, is that a red flag?

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If a guy is almost 30 and has never dated or had a girlfriend, is that a red flag?

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