Why do people say it’s my self esteem or attitude when I say I’m too ugly for a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Like people treat me as if I’m just saying this and not really trying I’m gross, hideous looking and women are repulsed by me outside of dating women don’t even want to be friends with me

[BetaBucks]

Because you aren't too ugly to get a girlfriend. You just don't want to get a fat, older girlfriend, and even then, don't feel like you should have to put in that much effort to get one. Even if you're a 2, there's a woman out there that's a 1, is a few years older, and has given up on chasing after 5s and 6s. All you have to do is be able to stomach it.

[Asker]

No I literally have no standards and I still can’t find a girlfriend

[BetaBucks]

Okay then, how many obese, older women have you asked out? Do they reject you immediately, or give you a chance to at least talk?

[Asker]

So when I say no women talk to me im practically invisible

[BetaBucks]

Do they reject you immediately or give you a chance to talk? How fat are you? What's your hygiene like? Especially mouth.

[Asker]

So I’m not obese, somewhat muscular, great hygiene constantly having on different cologne. I also use pomade cream in my hair and brush every morning for my waves

[BetaBucks]

Do you use mouthwash and floss? Yuck mouth will scare any human away. Also, you aren't answering. When you ask out old, obese women, do they give you a chance to talk, or not?

[Asker]

Yes mouthwash and brush and I don’t approach any women

[BetaBucks]

See! You don't approach them bro. That's the problem. Approach the ugliest ones. You'll pull. Or, use dating apps, like I said on that other thread.

[Asker]

I will never approach it’s simply not in my personality

[BetaBucks]

Sounds like a self esteem/attitude problem then.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why didn't you post a picture to show us what you are talking about?

[kylee2437]

Because you are doing absolutely nothing to change that perspective even though you know the root cause to your problem.

[Asker]

What can I do

[Nikki1989]

Does this really need explaining?

[Asker]

Yeah it’s trying t9 figure out why people gaslight me

[BetaBucks]

No one's gaslighting you. They're explaining reality to you. Let me ask you this: how many older, obese women have you tried to ask out? If you're unattractive, that's who you should be trying with, right? If you aren't trying this, it's both a self esteem AND attitude problem.

[Asker]

These women also ignore me

[BetaBucks]

Not trying to be rude, but my guess here is that you're still trying to ask out normal looking women, instead of unattractive ones. Go on those dating apps and swipe whatever the good direction is on the heaviest, oldest women there. You'll get matches.

[Asker]

@BetaBucks I don’t ask our any women

[BetaBucks]

Then you aren't getting rejected. So, this is your self esteem or willingness to try. Not your looks. Come back when obese older women won't give you a shot no matter how hard you try. As a male, it's your responsibility to initiate.