What should I do if I like my crush but also scared of him?

[Anonymous]

I think my crush likes me back, he follows me, he swerves his bike infront of me, I saw him staring at me, he talked to his friend about me and he’s always sitting by the bus stop near my building. He would ride his bike from one destination to another just to pass by me. We talked a year ago and exchanged numbers. He was nice but he would growl at people walking pass like signaling them to go away. The problem is I see him checking out girls sometimes and talking to them, but when I’m in his presence he focuses on me. We don’t talk anymore I don't know why I guess because he doesn’t recognize me from a year ago but he still tries to make sure I’m the same person. I’m scared of him because he talks to himself, he seems to have mental health issues or he’s on drugs. As once he stared at me and his face was horrifying, his eyes were so big possibly front drug effect. I also saw him keying a car. I think he might be crazy. What can I do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, from what you described, this dude gives me some real bad vibes. I'd be cautious about getting too involved here. A few red flags stand out:

- Growling at and signaling people is aggressive and scary behavior.

- Keying a car shows a tendency towards violence. Yikes!

- Possible drug abuse makes his actions unpredictable and could lead to dangerous situations.

- Obvious mental health issues aren't a reason to shame him, but should make you carefully consider getting close until he gets help.

Even if he seems to like you, his interest isn't worth compromising your safety. I'd avoid him being alone with you at all costs. If you have to interact, keep it brief and in public spaces only.

Maybe tell a trusted friend or family member what's going on too, in case you ever need help. Don't feel obligated to "give him a chance" just because he likes you. Protect yourself first!

If it were me, I'd let this one go sis. Way too many red flags to ignore. You deserve to feel comfortable and safe with any guy you talk to.

[Asker]

I don’t know if I just like the attention he gives me because he’s always around. I don’t think anything will ever happen because he always appears but never talk to me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man that's kinda a bummer. It does seem like maybe he's just into giving you attention from afar but isn't actually trying to make a real connection, you know?

I could see how all his looks and stuff would be flattering at first, but it would get old real quick if that's all it is and he never actually tries talking to you or making plans. And not knowing where you stand would probably just leave you feeling weird and confused a lot of the time too.

If it was me, I think I'd try once more to get a real convo going with him. Maybe next time you see him looking your way, give him a smile and a wave to let him know it's cool to come say what's up. Then if he still doesn't grow a pair and come talk, I'd stop wasting your time thinking about it so much. Plenty more fish in the sea and all that.

It's probably not worth stressing over some dude who won't even use his words, you feel me? Find somebody who's got the balls to actually chat with you instead of just creeping from afar! As much as the attention is nice sometimes, you deserve better than that. His loss if he's too scared to ask you out, so don't sweat it.

Lemme know if anything changes with him. But for now I'd say just do your thing and don't worry about it too much. Keep shining girl!

[Asker]

I think he’s a bit shy though cuz I once saw him and he looked nervous. Once he came up to me and just walked away then later walked back. I think his friend say hola to me once

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah I gotcha, yeah he could definitely be shy too if he's acting kinda nervous and unsure around you. That's pretty relatable actually, lol.

Maybe try giving him an extra warm, inviting smile next time you see him pass by so he knows you won't bite if he does come up to say what's up. And don't be afraid to say hey first either - sometimes shy guys just need a little encouragement.

His friend saying hi is a good sign too, like maybe he told his boy to scope you out first or something.

If you wanna take it slow and see what's what without scaring him off too quick, maybe try waiting by the bus stop after school one day when you know he'll be riding by. Or walk the same way home so you "happen" to run into him.

Subtle things like that could help him feel more comfortable opening up without too much pressure at first. I bet once he gets to chatting, you'll see he's not so scary after all! Just take it easy on him.

Hope this shy crush situation works out! Let me know if any other advice comes in handy.

[Asker]

I think i'm in love with this guy. When I don't see him for more than 1 day I get depressed. Probably because he gives me attention. I think he's jobless, so there's no future for us. And i'm scared that he will stop liking me

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, I wouldn't necessarily say you're in love with this guy if you've barely talked to him. It's definitely normal to crave the attention he gives you when you don't get it for a bit, but being depressed after only a day apart is really intense for something so new.

Try not to put all your emotional eggs in one basket so early, you know? And yeah, being jobless definitely isn't ideal long term. I'd be worried he wouldn't be able to support you or help provide for a future family.

Plus you're right that guys can lose interest fast sometimes if they're not stable. Maybe try taking a little step back in your head so you don't get too invested before knowing if he's even boyfriend material.

See if you can start some casual conversations to get to know him better as a person and see where his head is at. And meantime keep your options open - don't wait around for him and miss out on other guys who could treat you well.

I know the attention feels good, but make sure YOU come first here. Take it slow, protect your feelings, and don't compromise what you really want just cause he pays you mind for now. Keep your standards high!