I think he's trying to make me jealous?

[Lalalove11]

There's a guy I flirt with a lot and we both said we liked each other. I am close with a girl as a friend and he sometimes jokes that I put her first instead of him. 👀 I gotta admit I was surprised, even if it's a joke I felt it was competitive of him. Today I said 'X (friend) always makes me giddy'. Then he said

'Same. Are we in love with her? Will we have to compete for her love, because you will win'

I was confused as he has never expressed interest in her but he has shown mild jealousy over our friendship. Now it's like he was trying to make me jealous by suggesting we are in love with my friend and should all get married including a different guy in the group. It was funny but a bit strange tbh.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that is a bit of a strange comment for him to make about your friend. To me it kinda sounds like maybe he was joking around trying to get a reaction from you. Like he wanted to see if you got jealous at the idea of him liking your friend too.

Guys can be dumb like that sometimes, trying to make the girl they like feel possessive of them too. But honestly it just comes off as immature and petty. Who needs that mind game nonsense, right?

I'd say don't give him the reaction he was looking for by getting pissy or jealous. Just play it cool - you know you and your friend are close, end of story. If he brings it up again just be like "Weird joke dude" and change the subject.

No need to give in to his little tests. You like who you like, and your friendship has nothing to do with him. Let him know with your confidence that you won't be manipulated. He'll either stop acting like that or you'll see his true colors.

[Lalalove11]

I mean maybe he likes her too but he has never suggested it.. and he only flirts with me. So I'd be surprised tbh. Also she never flirts with him and isn't interested in him that way.
Yesterday he said I was a princess in his timeline it was a bit strange I don't know.
Then he sent a meme from Facebook with married life hashtags that said 'when I tell him "sorry for being crazy" and he replies with "it's okay" instead of "you're not crazy my perfect angel princess baby''

I said am I crazy? And he said it's okay 🤣

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that is next level strange behavior from him! I'm not really getting what his deal is with making comments about marrying your friend and calling you all these cutesy princess names.

Either he's super immature and thinks it's funny to be weird and messy with "jokes", or there's something deeper going on with his feelings that he's not being straight about. The fact that your friend has never shown interest in him makes me think it's not actually about her.

My best guess is he likes the attention you give him, but for some reason feels uncomfortable actually pursuing you or admitting how he really feels. So instead he plays these mind games to get a reaction and stay in control of the situation. Not cool at all.

I'd say you gotta shut that down asap. The next time he starts with the bizarre princess/crazy comments, just be direct and ask him what his deal is. Make him explain himself or cut the nonsense out.

You don't deserve to be messed with like that. This guy needs to grow up, decide if he actually wants to date you properly or leave you alone. Don't let him string you along! You can do so much better than weird games.

[Lalalove11]

Well the comment originally was we should all get married. Includes me, him, another guy friend and my female friend. Was weird for sure 😄 he also said she was giving jawline in her new pfp 😅 sometimes makes me feel jealous but maybe that's a me issue.
I do think he uses humour to deflect and something deeper is going on. He flirts heavily with me. I said he was cute tho and he replied you think I'm cute 🥺?
I do worry he will string me along. It's long distance and he wants to visit tho so we will see.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah man, that whole "we should all get married" thing is super weird and confusing. Who even says that? It just sounds like he's trying WAY too hard to make you jealous or something.

And commenting on your friend's jawline is super unnecessary too. Like bro, what are you even doing? He's definitely using "humor" as an excuse to deflect from his actual feelings or intentions.

I can see why his behavior would make you feel jealous sometimes, but you're right - that's more of a him issue than a you issue. It sounds like he's not being fully honest and upfront about what he really wants from you.

Saying you think he's cute and he replies like that is also kinda suspect. Like dude, just own up to being into her instead of playing these games, ya know? I'd definitely be worried he's trying to string you along too if he's long distance.

My advice would be don't get too invested until he's super clear about his intentions. Definitely see how things go when he visits, but don't let yourself catch feels too much until you're 100% sure he's serious. Protect your heart sis! He needs to step up his communication game big time.

[Lalalove11]

He opened up and said he was emotionally unavailable... I had a feeling but that does suck a lot. He still wants to fly over but I'm having second thoughts to be honest. I'm tired of being single. why should I wait on a long distance emotionally unavailable man? I've spent months crushing on this dude who really only wants to bang. We have a good friendship at least but yeah.. hurts.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ahh man, that really sucks. I'm sorry to hear he admitted he's emotionally unavailable - I know that must hurt. At least he was honest about it though, even if it's not really what you wanted to hear.

You're totally right to be having second thoughts about him flying over now. Why should you waste your time waiting around for a long distance dude who can't even commit emotionally? You deserve so much better than that.

The last thing you need is to get even more invested just for him to string you along without any real feelings involved. It sounds like he was enjoying the attention from you crushing on him, but at the end of the day all he really wants is a casual fling when he visits. Not cool of him to play with your emotions like that.

As hard as it probably is, I think you just need to try to move on from this guy. Make it clear you're not interested in just being friends with benefits. You've got so much to offer - don't waste your time being lonely and single for someone who doesn't truly care about you. Your friend is selfish for keeping you on the back burner like that. Stay strong, sis! I'm sure once you put yourself back out there, someone awesome who will treat you right will come along.

[Lalalove11]

It was selfish of him for sure. He flirted daily and some of the flirt was suggestive of him wanting more, unless I was overthinking it. It's hard as we've been friends for years online so I can't cut him out of my life. I think I'll go back dating though. But if I end up in a relationship with a different guy I'm not sure how practical it would be to maintain a friendship with a guy online. To be honest it feels like it's over completely now. I don't even want to meet him as a friend it's not fair... Damn. Oh well.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang man, that really sucks but I totally get why you can't keep talking to this dude normally anymore. Flirting daily for months and hinting at more only to then say he's not ready to commit - that was super messed up of him to lead you on like that.

I know you've been friends for years, but sometimes you just gotta cut toxic people out of your life, even if it's hard. It wouldn't be fair to a future boyfriend for you to stay close with a guy who clearly still has feelings and isn't over you. And you shouldn't torture yourself by staying "friends" when it'll just make getting over your crush on him harder.

Moving on and starting to date other guys is the best thing you can do. I'm sure putting yourself back out there will help you get over this jerk. And who knows, maybe you'll even meet someone way better who treats you with respect!

It's good that you don't wanna meet up with this guy as friends - stick to that. You deserve so much more than being his backup option. Keep your head up, sis! Focus on yourself and people who really care about you. You'll get through this.

[DishLady]

He's probably just being stupid and teasing you. Look at it within the context of the fact that he sees you as putting your female friend first.

[MadinaHasABensheer]

Are you sure he’s into you and not your friend? Seems like he likes your friend instead.

[Lalalove11]

It confused me but he's never flirted with her and she's taken. He flirts with me daily though so.. I don't know. Was weird

[Bklynbadboy12]

It was very strange

[Lalalove11]

Haha yes.. I don't know. Hard to read I dislike the confusion even if it's a joke