What would it take to consider breaking up with someone to date a new person? What factors would you consider and what would make you do it vs not?

[Anonymous]

[BetaBucks]

I would have to already mentally be in the "this relationship isn't going anywhere" mindset. The most common reason for me has been girls showing interest in other guys. Or actually doing something with them. Second most common is abusive behavior from her. Last is letting their appearance go, which has only happened with the abusive ones anyway

Then, I'd have to see a girl as being a better opportunity and as being higher value.

[Asker]

makes sense - the "this relationship isn't going anywhere" part exactly. Because in that case its not leaving them for another its more that another person was a catalyst for the inevitable.

[BetaBucks]

Yep, that's exactly it. From reading your other replies, it sounds like that guy's relationship is doomed as it is. Unfortunately the new girl might be a rebound which can often mean he wasn't thinking clearly and they might not be that well suited for each other.

[Asker]

haha yea - from what he's described though Im not so sure. They have the same career path, similar interests and he likes her because they can talk very easily - that's how his crush began. They started talking about their career stuff and it flourished into some friendship. His girlfriend works in a diff industry though. He said this friend he has a crush on, he has chemistry with but she just so happens to also be hot and that might make her very compatible long term but I dont think he's even mentioned dating or anything.

[BetaBucks]

Sounds promising, but he still needs a clean break with the current girlfriend. Way healthier.

[Asker]

agreed - I just can imagine if he does that and he actually dates this girl, his girlfriend will be convinced he was cheating all along. He knows that as well so he has basically ghosted his friend for awhile recently and misses her but doesn't want to stay with his girlfriend and so I posted this lol because he's just there unhappy feeling guilty no matter what.

[BetaBucks]

Rough situation all around. Best of luck to him though

[Asker]

thanks for the input - it was helpful!

[BetaBucks]

You're welcome!!

[Danny_dan92]

I’m not breaking up with a girl to date a new one. Wtf?




No. If I’m breaking up with a girl, it’s because I’m simply not compatible with her. Not because I want to go date someone else.




Good luck with that rebound relationship

[Asker]

This is not my circumstance - I am asking for a difference reason/ person, but thanks for the assumption? I should have suspected the responses may be from that position I suppose.

[Danny_dan92]

Simply based on the title of your question

[Asker]

Yes, I am asking what would make a person do that, not "Hey guys, I am considering what do you think?" lol Its more complicated than that, the reason I am asking and to help someone close to me.

[Danny_dan92]

What would make a person do that? They’re selfish and stupid

[Asker]

To explain better - a friend loves their girlfriend but its been awhile and they aren't sure they want to marry her and now he has met someone he likes a lot and is considering ending his relationship to date the new person and his reason is that if he loved his girlfriend enough to marry her, he wouldn't be so attracted and interested in this new person as he wasn't interested in other girls previously when he thought she could be the one but things have changed for him for reasons he has. So I am asking others to help him as a friend.

[Danny_dan92]

That’s a rebound relationship. Regardless of the minute details

[Asker]

I said that but he said he likes the girl a lot and has been slowly thinking about her for months. He said he doesn't want to jump into a relationship with her but it is more that he feels if he were in love properly he wouldn't like another girl that much and be tempted. And his girlfriend does things he doesn't like. (violates his privacy even after he asked her to stop) and posts a lot of photos of him on social media after he asked her to stop.

[Danny_dan92]

I call bs.

He’s breaking up with his girlfriend to date the new one. He’s just trying to justify or cover up his shitty behavior

[Asker]

lol fair enough - but he hasn't even tried anything yet. Like he hasn't approached her and asked if she's interested (but I may not know everything). I do know that his girlfriend has done some weird shit and so it's not BS on that end. She accused him of cheating with me even and I'm like a little sister and think that would be gross. She goes through his phone a lot and she calls him a lot and is very controlling but he has never been unfaithful - it has been stressful for him.

[Danny_dan92]

Speaking about it, is enough. He has intent

[Asker]

I see your point and agree but I think people have a right to pursue happiness if they try and it's not working with someone. So I was curious what others think. He feels guilty and has actually stopped speaking to his friend for about a month because he feels like it's cheating even though he's not actually done anything probably because of the "intent" you mentioned.

[DishLady]

Hmm. I'm a serial monogamist, so if I'm with a person I have blinders on when it comes to feeling stuff for other guys. If I left my guy it wouldn't be for another guy... at all.

[Kaneki05]

It been a bad relationship that I would leave anyway.
It would be the point I think it's better to be with someone than alone yet with someone who it really isn't, and this is more a chance I can get out and not be alone.

[HusamRocks]

There is something called LOYALTY
google it 👍🏻

[Kaneki05]

What use is loyalty if it keeps you in a unhealthy and unlikeable relationship?

[HusamRocks]

That's different, read the question again 👍🏻

[Kaneki05]

It's not you read the question. Been in a unhealthy and unlikeable relationship is an accurate answer to this question lmao.

[HusamRocks]

Well it's not called a relationship if it was all good times

[Kaneki05]

I don't even know what that means...

[Asker]

@Kaneki05 Correct - as evidenced by details in my other chats to other responders.

[Asker]

I think what Kaneki is saying, is to answer the question, if the relationship were unhealthy or unlikeable, those are reasons to consider breaking up potentially for someone else if you met someone that might make you happy. It could be that you felt trapped until someone you meet shows you there is another path but you hadn't considered it until you met them.

[jahaims]

Literally 1000s of reasons to dump someone. You want people to list 1000s of reasons?

[Yannae]

For me it would take a toxic relationship.