If you found out during your first date that your future plans are different, would you cut things off, or try to see if you could make a compromise?

[Anonymous]

What would you do?

[BoobSlayer]

In light of this revelation about our contrasting plans, what if, instead of choosing either path, we could consider engaging in a dynamic boob squeezing session? Why not indulge in the passion and excitement of massaging those melons, so we can work towards a successful and satisfying relationship?

Our session would focus finding a mutual common ground based on our interests in those amazing boobs. Instead of the chilling air of difference, we could use this opportunity to celebrate the fascinating range of possibilities as we work towards compatibility.

By employing a boob-focused approach, we could gradually bridge any differences that may present themselves in our first date conversation. Through this creative and boob-focused compromise, we would not only find commonality but also be open-minded in understanding the other's perspectives.

Therefore, in response to the question, I would opt for the latter, whereby we explore the art of chesticular compromise to forge a foundation of understanding and compatibility. While confronting the diverse boob-driven needs on our first date, Boobslayer would encourage a creative, open-minded communication that transcends mere words. #BoobDrivenApproachㅤ

[Summeroflove]

It all just depends. A first date is just that. See if you’re compatible and if you’re not…. You’re just not. It really depends. If you’re not sure. Try another date but I would be careful jumping into something too soon and altering your life for someone who just met.

[Asker]

It was about where we want to live in 10 years

[Summeroflove]

Asker. It’s so early on. I would see where things go.

[Asker]

The guy I’m talking about cut things off and said it was because of our different life goals

[Summeroflove]

Asker. Maybe it’s not meant to be. You can’t force someone to stay with you

[Asker]

You’re right. I’m just suprised how quick he was to cut things off because of that

[Summeroflove]

So are you both done then? I guess it depends on how he cut things off if he was a ass about it of if he simply just was nice but said it’s not gonna work

[Asker]

He was very nice about it

[Summeroflove]

Well Asker. Then it’s probably not meant to be. If he isn’t interested anymore it’s time to move on.

Has he broken it off or just almost did?

[Asker]

He said we shouldn’t continue to date and wished me well

[Summeroflove]

Asker. Then it seems like it’s not meant to be. Just be glad he let you down easy so you both can move onto someone who makes you happy.

[Asker]

Do you mean by he ”let me down easy”

[Asker]

He made just an excuse?

[Summeroflove]

A excuse for what? He doesn’t want to date you anymore.

[Summeroflove]

It’s the end of it

[Asker]

I mean was his he telling the truth when he said it was because of different life goals

[Summeroflove]

Asker. I don’t know. He could have been. He let you down easy. Find someone new

[Rei13]

It depends on what the differences are. There are some things you can compromise on like how many kids you plan on having, if one person only wanted one but the other wanted five maybe you can compromise on three. However if one person doesn’t want kids, won’t budge on that, and the other person does then those two people are fundamentally incompatible and it should be cut off immediately. The same if maybe one person plans on moving to a different state or country within so many years, the other person may not want to uproot their whole lives. Sure you can compromise but one person is going to be extremely unhappy and that wouldn’t be a good relationship either

[provokeesmokee]

Depends what plans.

Do they want kids? Irreconcilable difference. I am childfree. There is no compromise.

Do they want to live elsewhere in the country? Possibly okay, depends.

Do they want to become a NEET? Irreconcilable difference. No compromise possible.

It all depends. Some things I can compromise on or leave behind completely, other things are going to be irreconcilable differences.

It's a big reason I'm upfront on the first date about everything from childfree to politics to weed friendliness.

[Asker]

He feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 years

[Asker]

I feel*

[AviatorTom]

Depends how different they are.

For example, if you both want to get married, she wants 5 kids but he only wants 2, it's possible to reach a compromise... or him coming over to her side.

If, for example, if she wants to have a career, live together without getting married and have no kids, while he wants a stay-at-home wife with lots of kids, that's never gonna work. Enjoy the first date but no second date.

[Asker]

He definitely wanted stay at home with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I tood him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 years

[coachTanthony]

If your alignment is off then you move on if your standards are flimsy then maybe get better standards because in the end someone will be disappointed if someone ends up compromising then realizes that oh wait that's not what I really want.

[MrOracle]

I would (and have) gotten more information to see if a compromise was possible. Usually it wasn't, but it's worth asking to find out.

[Peter_Penetrator]

Here is a better question. Let’s say you meet a guy, go out on a couple dates with him and then he asked for a third date, while on that date he decides to break up with you because he just found out he was terminally ill.


Would you allow him to break up with you or would you be there for him until the end?


Just because you have different long term plans is no reason to break it off. Because the both of you know this ahead of time, the two of you can break it off at that time, and neither of you have burnt a bridge.


Life is along time for the lucky, and plans never go as planned.


“When (man) makes plans, God laughs”


The two of you could cross paths, once again someday, and the chance to rekindle would present itself.

[Asker]

What does it tell about him when he didn’t want to discuss about it? He just rejected me because of different future goals.

[Peter_Penetrator]

Then he is the one burning that bridge and not you. His loss.

[MysteriousDarkness]

He didn't want to continue because where you both wanted to live within the next 10 years. It was a deal breaker for him. Let's say you did stay together. There is a possibility one of you could want to be where the other does or you compromise on where to live. On the flip side you both could still want to live in separate places far from each other. He wasn't willing to. What if within the next 10 years you had kids with him and you still wanted to live abroad and he didn't and at least one of you would not compromise? He felt it was better to end it now. You need to move on and not worry about him since he doesn't want to be with you.

[Asker]

What does it tell about him when he didn’t want to discuss about it? He just rejected me because of different future goals. Didn’t even want to elaborate what goals didn’t align.

[MysteriousDarkness]

Why are you wanting to know what it says about him when he didn't want to continue seeing you?

[Asker]

I want to know if he was telling the truth

[Drumlin2001]

Yes. Inhad a date with someone whondidnt want more kids. I knew I wanted kids of own so there was no point wasting each others time.
Same now, if I were ever single I would be very reluctant to have more kids, I've had a vasectomy. If someone Iet wanted kids it would most likely not work out

[Asker]

I feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 year

[Drumlin2001]

No disrespect, if you're in your 30's it will be difficult to have lots of kids plus continue studying and working abroad. But if he's walked away without any discussions then you're probably better without him

[Asker]

I mean I wanted to move abroad after 10 years. Why would it be harder in my 30’s? I’m 28 going on 29

[Drumlin2001]

Just because most women would only have till mid forties to have kids. The older you get, the more difficult to conceive, higher risk pregnancies. To me a lot of kids would be 4 plus, likelihood is you'd lose at least 1 pregnancy, so time just working against you.

[Drumlin2001]

It's a lot to expect to meet someone, build a family of multiple children, educate yourself and launch a new career, all in a short timeframe

[exitseven]

I was going to ask out a girl. she was pretty and really nice. She was really into me and I thought we would be good together. She was going away to school 500 miles away. I knew if I started dating her it would be really hard when she had to leave in September and 500 miles was a lttle too far to drive for a weekend, even for me.

[Asker]

I feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 years

[exitseven]

That's tough, but everyone is different

[Asker]

What does it tell about him when he didn’t want to discuss about it? He just rejected me because of different future goals.

[exitseven]

Maybe he went through this before with someone else. I just ended a long distance relationship when I started hanging out with that girl. She used to date my friend. When I found out she was going to be going to school 500 miles away, that really soured me on the whole thing

[Fireguy17]

It really depends on how big or little they are.
Kids no kids is a pretty big on.
No, my sister doesn't want to join us, but I have a friend that is into that, not a deal breaker.
You may want to see each other a few times before you decide.
Then you might go he's not worth it, or maybe you are able to find some sort of compromise.

[Guido]

If you find out right away that your future plans are not compatible and those plans are a definitive part of what you want in life then it's a non starter. Move on and find someone else that shares the same plans as you.

If you had been in a serious long term relationship then you would look to see how you can make it work with compromises from both.

It's a good thing to find out on a first date that you are not compatible then investing months of time to find out later.

[Asker]

It was about where we want to live in 10 years. He didn’t even try to see if I could change mind or if we could’ve made compromises. Before the first date we spent 2 monts texting daily…

[petitedollbabee]

Not go on a second date. Why waste both of our time if we don’t have the same life goals? Why settle and “compromise” with someone that you’ve just met?

[Asker]

I feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 years

What does it tell about him when he didn’t want to discuss about it? He just rejected me because of different future goals. Didn’t even want to elaborate what goals didn’t align.

[petitedollbabee]

It means that you weren’t a good fit and he recognised that. He clearly had certain standards or a “check-list” and you didn’t meet those standards. That doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you or him. Sometimes you’re just not a right fit for someone, and that’s okay! Keep dating and find someone whose life goals match your own.

[Asker]

Why he didn’t want to elaborate what exactly wasn’t aligned?

[Indio1375]

I don't believe it's cause for alarm. He just started dating maybe your path will change her path will change. But it's a good thing to speak about goals dreams and plans

[Asker]

I feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 years

What does it tell about him when he didn’t want to discuss about it? He just rejected me because of different future goals. Didn’t even want to elaborate what goals didn’t align.

[Indio1375]

Well it was a good thing that you were discussing it because at least gave you a clear mind on where it was going to go or if it was going to go anywhere. Sometimes relationships are just meant to be that relationships not something for life. I believe each relationship helps you grow. But I'm sure there's someone out there for you if that's what you're looking for.

[Asker]

But when I asked him “ what goals didn’t align “ he said “ just in general level they didn’t align “ what does that mean?

[Asker]

Also we only went out once but we were texting daily for 2 months

[ShadezMcgee]

If the goals are not aligned and you desire something the other doesn't, it won't work because one of them are sacrificing for the other. Best to call it quits after that date and find someone on the same page as you.

[stepyo99]

I wouldn't see the point in continuing to date if the woman I'm dating doesn't have the same long-term goals as me. Pretty pointless to waste all that time.

[stepyo99]

To answer your second question from the comments: I'm not going to "wait and see" if she'll change her mind later either. To take your example, if she was willing to be flexible about location, then she should say it right now. I'm not going to wait for her to change her mind in 10 years though. She should either be on board with my plans or I'll just find someone who is.

[Asker]

He didn’t even ask me to clarify etc

[stepyo99]

Well communication is a two way street. Why didn't you just clarify yourself rather than wait to be asked?

[LazerBean]

There's no sense in dating someone if your lives are going in different directions.

[Asker]

It was about where we want to live in 10 years

[LazerBean]

Yeah, that could cause big problems

[Asker]

I feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 years

[CallmeTheKnight]

I would likely end things. Why compromise when they already have their goals and life set in stone? To make such a compromise is foolish unless your future goals are close.
Finding all that out on the first date would be pretty early any way

[Asker]

I feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 years

What does it tell about him when he didn’t want to discuss about it? He just rejected me because of different future goals. Didn’t even tell me what didn’t align

[CallmeTheKnight]

He can absolutely reject you for having those goals. You two aren’t a fit for each other. Find a man who has similar goals to yours or a big interest in taking part. So 10 years down the road, you’ll never have to travel alone

[Asker]

But he didn’t even want ti elaborate?

[Asker]

Want to*

[CallmeTheKnight]

He doesn’t need to. Why explain it when it’s clear that he’s no longer interested in you? You’re just gonna end up having an unnecessary conversation with him. You have your clarity, leave the man alone because you’re only gonna end up disappointing yourself more by wanting to figure this out when it’s already figured out.
Stop what you’re doing and move on. You’re not gonna get a different answer so save yourself the stress and leave it be. You gonna find someone better.

[Asker]

So he lost interest because of our different goals?

[CallmeTheKnight]

Let it go

[Jersey2]

Plans change, especially if you really hit it off with someone. Life is funny that way and there is even an old saying that says, people make plans and God just laughs. I would see where it goes.

[Asker]

What does it tell when he didn’t want to discuss about it? He kust rejected me because of different future goals.

I feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 year

[Jersey2]

I guess he decided it was best for both of you to cut it off early before feelings arise. He just wasn’t willing to compromise on his goals for someone he just met. It was easier to keep looking.

[Asker]

But he could talk about it with me to see if I would change my mind/ compromisev

[Jersey2]

He felt it was better to simply move in to the next one.

[BCRanger10]

I'm very much of the belief that neither person should waste the other's time. It depends on what it is. If one wants marriage and children and the other doesn't, one date is plenty.

[strateguy632]

if she wanted kids and her career, then while I'm at work who watches the kids after school and summer?

[Asker]

So he probably wanted me to be full time housemom?

[Sweetsurprize]

I guess it would depend on the subject/what it was we were differing on. Unfortunately, it's not that simple.

[BoopBoopBeep]

if it's not going to be someting you can compromise on (kids/no kids) then why bother?

[Asker]

It was about where we want to live in 10 years

[BoopBoopBeep]

Okay, well unless you're going to buy two houses and commute, same thing. I'd never live in NYC if you gave me a free house there and a monthly stipend. If that's my date's dream home location it's not going to work out. There's 4 billion other women out there, I'll find one of them.

[Asker]

So you wouldn’t try to see if she changes her mind or compromise can be made?

[BoopBoopBeep]

You want to live in NYC, a place that I hate. What does compromise look like there?

I could wait around and see I change my mind, become a homosexual, and want to pursue a future singing showtunes off broadway but why would i believe there's any chance that's going to happen?

[Asker]

My mean see if she changes her mind?

[Asker]

I mean*

[BoopBoopBeep]

Women aren't an endangered species. I'm not going to wait around when there's 4 billion others out there that I don't have to hold on to blind hope for.

[Asker]

Even if you was attracted to her and were texting daily for 2 months before the date?

[BoopBoopBeep]

I meet attractive women every day. That's not a compelling reason.

We could still talk. I'm not saying she sucks as a person and I'm never going to talk to her again. We were texting, we can still text. I'm just going to go ahead and explore with other people what kind of life I may be able to build.

You guys have "known" each other for two months, and even that not really since you didn't pick up on this difference. So basically you had one date and a long conversation. I've spent more time than that with people on ruck marches, you all didn't have some special thing going on there.

[boggboss]

End things lol it's not like we are that invested at this point anyway

[Asker]

So you wouldn’t try to see if she changes her mind or compromise can be made?

[boggboss]

No why would I want almoner to change for me when it's out first date lol thats some desperate shit

[Asker]

So wouldn’t want to continue even you was attracted to her?

[boggboss]

She is not the only women I would ever be attracted to no I wouldn't continue things

[Asker]

Why wouldn’t you want her to change her mind for you?

[boggboss]

Because its somthing she could end up regretting and again its early days no need working all that out if we are still so early in

[Asker]

If you was attracted her wouldn’t you miss her if you were texting 2 months daily before the date like we did?

[boggboss]

Might miss talking but like I said she is not the only women alive lol all people will find multiple people they are attracted to in life also if those talks we had for 2 months where meaningfully this issue would have already come up

[Asker]

Only goal that we talked about before the date was if we wanted kids or not

[boggboss]

Fair enough

[HighValue]

If long term life goals are not comparable there is no point in continuing.

[Asker]

I feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 years

What does it tell about him when he didn’t want to discuss about it? He just rejected me because of different future goals. Didn’t even tell elaborate what goals didn’t align.

[HighValue]

I'd bet that the moving abroad goal is what put him off the most.

[Asker]

But why didn’t he discuss about it with me? When I asked him what goals didn’t align he said ” our goals just don’t align in general level”

[JackCarter]

If the future plans are not contradictory then why cut off or even "compromise" ?

[Asker]

I feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 years

What does it tell about him when he didn’t want to discuss about it? He just rejected me because of different future goals. Didn’t even tell me what didn’t align

[JackCarter]

By future plans you mean what you want to do in future.. simple as that..
It's not your business to decide what she/he must be doing
So he has not right to decide what you must do
Maybe he "preffered" a stay at home wife and you are not still living in 1900s like him LOL
You don't have to be a stay at home wife by supressing your dreams
You need someone who repsects your future goals and does everything he can to see you acheive it and vice versa!

[Asker]

When I asked him “ what future plans didn’t align” he just replied “ just in general they don’t align”
What does that mean?

[JackCarter]

Basically he preferred his wife to sit at home and be a homemaker at all times
But you prefer working /job
Just mismatch is preferences I think

[Asker]

But why did he just say “ “ just in general they don’t align”
When I asked to elaborate more what exactly didn’t align?

[artgorgeous]

I would not change my future plans just because of some random first date.

[Asker]

I feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 years

What does it tell about him when he didn’t want to discuss about it? He just rejected me because of different future goals. Didn’t even tell me what didn’t align

[artgorgeous]

Is it your assumption that he rejected you because of this, or you know it because he told you?

[Asker]

He told be it was because of different life goals but he could be lying…

[Asker]

Do you think he was honest?

[artgorgeous]

I don't know. But there is no 100% chance he didn't lie. Maybe he didn't like how you look, but instead told you this. Life goals may change, right?

[artgorgeous]

With time maybe his would or yours would. But if he really liked you, maybe he wouldn't reject you right from the beginning.

[KrakenAttackin]

You are over 30 and thinking about having a large family, keeping a high power job, and moving overseas in 10 years. And you aren't even married or involved yet.

DELUSIONAL FEMALE DEFINED.

[WhitneySnow]

Depends how different they are. I’d still want to be friends.

[Anonymous]

Unless we had some amazing chemistry I'd probably pack it in right there. But let's be honest, I'm a guy. Like I'm really going to get that option.😆

[Asker]

I feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 year

[Asker]

He didn’t even try to discuss about it ä. He just rejected me because if ”different life goals”

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, you're not in you 20's anymore, that's gonna happen. When you get passed 30 people will still form relationships, but generally only on thier terms.

[Asker]

Tbh I’m 28 going 29 and he’s 31

[Asker]

Why do you mean by ”only on their terms”

[In_Trance]

Cut things off

[Asker]

What does it tell about him when he didn’t want to discuss about it? He just rejected me because of different future goals.

[In_Trance]

That's perfectly legit

[Asker]

How?

[TheSpaceGnome]

I'd end it there and look elsewhere. I'm not changing my plans.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t continue that relationship. 😬 Yikes. If he’s hot I’d become Fuck Buddies 😈

[Runningmc]

Cut it off it’ll avoid pain, don’t compromise your future plans. Neither should the person you’re with compromise their future plans.

[Drewtate]

I would continue dating mostly for the sex

[Miah05]

Cut things off.

Never settle

[boobliker]

my future plans have always been open to change.

[Twalli]

Depends on how different

[abc3643]

End it

[Asker]

Why?

[abc3643]

Compromise is not good at your age because, in the long run, it leads to misery.

[Asker]

I feel like he wanted stay at home wife with a lot of kids. I wanted big family too but I told him I want to continue my studies at some point and get a better job and work when the kids are older. I also told him I would like to move abroad within 10 years

What does it tell about him when he didn’t want to discuss about it? He just rejected me because of different future goals. Didn’t even want to elaborate what goals didn’t align.

[abc3643]

How old are you?
You are NOT "(30-35)".

Deception is a trait that is rather unbecoming.

[Asker]

I’m 28 goin 29, why? When I made this account I just put age there

[abc3643]

Forget about the guy for a moment...

You are being unrealistic in your desires and plans.
You need to start choosing what you want to do because you are not going to have them all even with a willing man. However, if you win the lottery or are already fantastically wealthy, you might have it all.

[Asker]

Is that why he didn’t want to date me? Also what makes my plans unrealistic?

[abc3643]

Because you want to bite off more than you can chew.

You want to have a large family and then uproot everyone to "abroad"?

No, that's not gonna happen.

You need to learn this word: Constraints

You are not being realistic because, in the real world, other people's plans, desires, and needs create new constraints on your life.

If you want freedom, become wealthy and stay single with no kids.

[Asker]

Why didn’t he elaborate when I asked what exactly didn’t align?

[abc3643]

I have no idea. However people do not like to be uprooted. Especially men. We want things to be predictable and stable because we need that to be able to take care of our families.

You are just like my wife and that is why I cannot retire or enjoy my life. She is giving us a horse seven dogs and two cats. So while she's off having fun in New England I have to stay home taking care of them. I didn't want any of them. But she didn't think about me she only thought about herself. She she did whatever she wanted to do while I was away for my work and never talk to me about it. My life is fucked. His is not. Good for him. You need to grow up before the School of Hard Knocks teaches you some harsh lessons.

[Asker]

I’m upset that he didn’t even want to discuss about it. He just rejected me

[abc3643]

*sigh*

Well, I think he knows what he wants and what you want is incompatible with what he wants. If he's old enough and mature enough (which is usually in the late 30s or older), then he recognizes that unfulfilled dreams lead to quiet desperation and despair... and a miserable marriage.
So, suppose he is that mature...
For you to be married to him, that means you'd have to sacrifice your dreams and you'd be, in the long run, unhappy and not be in a good marriage. He doesn't want that for himself and he doesn't want that for you.
Furthermore, if he indulged your dreams and sacrificed his, a similar situation would occur. In particular, he might be upset due to all this uncertainty which is anathema to the male prime directive of keeping your family safe and secure.

You two have significantly disparate desires for your lives. It is best that you break-up.

HOWEVER!!

Maybe I can give you some hope...

I've been ragging on you a bit because your dreams are not really feasible. I would almost assume you come from money because dreams that unrealistic usually come from those who haven't had hardship or understand human nature and the real world very well.

So, perhaps we can together discuss the details of your dreams and then you can see where the problems will lie...

(more)

[abc3643]

So, this is what I'd like you to do for your sake...

I want you to imagine that all your dreams and plans are to come true.
You marry a man who goes along with what you want...
Together, you have that "large family".
You get your career going and you eventually "live abroad"...

For every year for the next 30 years, write down the goal that you hope to accomplish for that year.
So, for instance:
2024: Get married
2025: Have Kid 1, a girl, "Jane".
2026: Have Kid 2, a boy, "Mike".
...
2035: Move to England.
2036: ... etc.

After that, we can talk about the details.

[Asker]

I have one more question. He liked a quote which said ” what is meant for you won't pass you”
Does that mean he’s thinking about me?

[abc3643]

I have no idea what that even means unless it has to do with constipation and your birthday cake.

[abc3643]

Oh, I get it...
It's just a logical truism.

Think of it like this:
What is supposed to happen to you will happen to you.

[abc3643]

Better...
What is going to happen to you will happen to you.

[Asker]

Do you think he wad thinking about me?

[Asker]

He was*

[abc3643]

Why are you even asking this question?
You are sounding desperate.
I don't know because I don't know his well-enough.
Probably.
But his emotional state, to me, is unpredictable.

>>> You need to get your shit together.
You are upset at a failed relationship, but that failed relationship is because the two of you could not agree to a mutual destiny together.

So, you need to prioritize your life.
My advice to you is to work on you and your life - your dreams, your career, etc. - the stuff about you that makes you happy to be and want to be you.
There will always be another man at some point
.
But, if you prioritize the other aspects of your life - relationship, marriage, kids, etc. - then you may jeopardize the other stuff. If you get baby fever, that may swamp your dreams. And, of course, there's the biological clock. This is why it is tough for women.

So, what's going to make you happier in life?

That's a rhetorical question...

Perhaps this will help:

In 1957, Richard E. Bellman established the Principle of Optimality.
"Principle of Optimality: An optimal policy has the property that whatever the initial state and initial decision are, the remaining decisions must constitute an optimal policy with regard to the state resulting from the first decision."
OK, now that sounds confusing, but here's the real ramification.
Decide what you want the "end state" of your life to be.
Then, you work backwards.
(more)

[abc3643]

Here's an example.
A boy wants to play outfield for the Mets.
OK, so we start with him playing outfield for the Mets.
How did he get there?
(What actions should he take to give him his best chance to get there?)
He was a standout playing for a minor league team in the Mets' farm system.

How was he a standout player?
(His best chance is to...)
Practice long and hard both on and off season.

But how does he get on the team?
He gets drafted by the Mets organization.

How does he assure that it's the Mets and not someone else?
He does two things: Become a standout player on his high school or college team and contacts a Mets scout that he intends to become a draft prospect for the Mets.

How does he become a standout player on his high school or college team?
Same thing as before: Practice hard. Study the game. Etc.

How does he get on the high school team?
By being a standout when tryouts happen.

How does he be a standout then?
By being a standout during Little League...

===
See how that works?
You look at the destiny you want and then you plan on it to make it happen.

(Remember this: If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.)

The successful person sticks to their plan and goals and doesn't get sidetracked...

... like by a failed relationship or have baby fever.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answers. I do agree with you. by the way why do you think he was probably thinking about me?