Would you date someone coming off a breakup/divorce?

[Anonymous]

A lady friend of mine's husband left her. She's been lamenting about it for a couple months and she's a terrific person. But I thought she could've done better than her last husband. And I think she's rushing into this relationship too fast to quell hurt feelings and loneliness.
I'm not really sure how to support her when I think she making a mistake rushing into something.

[exitseven]

I dated somebody who was recently divorced. I was at her place one night and the ex-husband started banging on the door. It was awkward.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[TommyMountainFigure]

A good friend will advise, and then sit back and be there for her if or when she needs you.

[Asker]

That's the problem though. It's hard especially when we're different genders. Because I think I see this guys motives better than she does. Or at least right now because her feelings are bruised if you know what I mean.
I know if I say what I think she'll think I'm impeding her happiness. But a true friend tells the truth right?
I just wish she'd take more time off. Though I understand why she doesn't.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I do. I know exactly what you mean. But think about it,. Your only other option is to go to this other guy and tell him she is a very good friend of yours and if he messes her about in any way you'll hunt him down and (well you know what I'm going to say next, but she won't thank you for it)

[Asker]

No. I know exactly what you're saying. And I wouldn't do that anyhow. And not because I don't care. But because this is the frustrating part. You can't live somebody else's life for them. I mean, I know my options are. Tell her what I think, and deal with the results. Or don't tell her what I think, and live with the results. It just sucks knowing odds are she's likely to get hurt either way.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I have a question. Do you wish you were in a relationship with her. and if so, does she know it?

[Asker]

Because that would influence my opinion? Yes and no. She's a great person. If we were more alike yeah. But we're too different. If we were had the same interests etc. I'd date her in a second.

[TommyMountainFigure]

And what about her? She would date you in a second too?

[Asker]

I highly doubt it. Up to this point we've been just friends. Like I said man. She's just a good person. You know what I mean the type of person you wish good things for. I just don't think we'd have enough in common, enough mutual interests.

[TommyMountainFigure]

The reason I asked you those questions was because If she knows you and her wouldn't date, then she also knows any advice you give her, you wouldn't have any ulterior motive for. So when you tell her straight you don't trust this guy, she is safe in the knowledge you're advising her not because you want her to date you, but you only have her best interests at heart. I think you have to tell her what you've asked in here.

[Asker]

I really don't think she thinks that way about me at all. So I can't see her not trusting my motives.