Would you date someone who’s separated but not yet divorced?

Question

Yea nahh. Ima need you to get that divorce in writing. 🤣 If you’re “separated” then you’re just on a break. y'all ain't fully broken up so I’m gonna consider you to still be married. Ima need y'all to dead that shit before you start up anything with me 😂 But in all honesty, I ain't tryna date someone who’s been previously married unless their spouse died or cheated or some shit. If rhey got kids together and she’s still alive and well, i’m just gonna sway the other way. I ain't tryna get in the middle of that jungle
#FeelFreeToList #TilDeathDoUsPart

Keyboardkat · Accepted Answer

I've got a bulletin for you: Separated is not the same as divorced! If you are separated, you are still married, guys! Therefore, you are NOT free to date others. If you have sex with someone else while you're still married, that's still adultery. You need to wait until you're really divorced!
And then, it isn't wise to jump into a new relationship right away. After a breakup, your emotions are in turmoil. You're not really available emotionally to someone else yet. Rebound is a real phenomenon! You are likely to latch onto someone else and use them for a band-aid, and then rip off the band-aid after you're feeling better. And that other person may really have cared for you and wanted you. IT'S NOT FAIR to do that to someone! You can really hurt someone nice that way. Take a breather. Take up a new sport, take up a musical instrument, join a club, get a new hobby, learn a language, anything that interests you. But hold off dating, maybe for a year! You'll know when you're ready, when you're emotionally free of your ex.

RobT312 · Accepted Answer

fully divorced. a friend of mine dated someone separated and got totally screwed. She called off the separation and went back with her husband

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I would want to know the circumstances of the separation, hw long they have been separated, whether a divorce is filed, how close the divorce is to being final. One answer does not apply to all separated people.

Dragonpurple · Answer

Depends on the situation, a lot of men are in no hurry to file for divorce cause the system is stacked against them. They may have to pay child support and/or alimony and be unable to afford to live themselves as a result.

I totally get people not wanting to date someone who was ever married before, especially if they have kids.

Personally I've known two weird instances, one case a co-worker moved from another state and was living with her boyfriend but married to her husband who was somewhere in California and she had no idea where he was. She couldn't even file for divorce because she couldn't serve him with papers. She lived with her boyfriend had kids with him while still married to her husband. It wasn't until 10 years or so later she heard he was in prison in California (she said he beat her daily which is why she ran away from him) she was also afraid to try and file for divorce thinking he would hunt her down and kill her once he got her address. At least once he was in prison she was able to get him served and divorced and then moved before he got out so he wouldn't know where she lived.

The other case, the guys wife lived with someone else and kept saying she would file for divorce but never did. The guy did not want to as he knew he'd be stuck with child support and he couldn't even afford an attorney, so how would he live? he just hoped to drag it out a few more years, each year dragged out meant one year less of child support. Keep in mind he was still taking care of the kids, buying cloths, doing that stuff... but he knew his wife (ex by that point) would just take the money meant for them and spend it on herself. He would still have to buy all the stuff they needed.

Eventually he did file for divorce himself after he started dating again but then he did get the worst that he feared... got child support so high he couldn't live alone and had to move in with family. Now there is the question for people, would you date someone who had to move back in with family or their parents cause they couldn't afford to live alone?

As for me, I hope to never have to date anyone ever again, if I get divorced I think I'll just stay single forever.

Finchie40 · Answer

Yes I have , just as long as they are honest about it it’s really not a big deal, if they are lying about it than that’s something they will have to deal with on their own and suffer the consequences of their actions , sometimes divorces can take a very long time until it’s officially settled , so dating someone that is going through a divorce is really not a big deal , if it bothers you , just don’t rush into ianything with them , just have fun and be there for them and support them as a friend , just don’t get really serious with them until you know for sure that they are in it for the long haul. Dating to me is just getting to know the person and having fun with them , I don’t commit to anyone unless they prove to me that they want to be committed to just me

t-8900 · Answer

voted D but can go with B under the context that the spouse physically abused/beat her, forced himself on her, threatened to kill her, or cheated on her. Then she has every right according to scripture to leave his sorry ass. But I won't date date a girl until she's divorced fully. I might take her out to dinner, none romantic but make it clear that want romantic once everything is finalized. I don't know I can only imagine the pain, the sense of betrayal, and all that. I'm a giver in general. If I know her I'll do something just to make her feel a little better like she's got someone in her corner. If nothing else maybe a new friendship starts from this. And by the way I'm okay with just being friends with girls. Dont need to F every single woman out there like some dudes think...

Dvchill · Answer

If they are separated but not divorced I’m not going to try to date them… cause one of 2 things is happening here… they are still a broken shell trying to rebound… (so if u wanna bone down, you have a green light) or they are lying and just saying to get strange on the side.

MCheetah · Answer

Nah. It's pretty open to interpretation what "separated" means to some. Not until the divorce is final, but then again, there's usually a reason the divorce happened anyway, so I think it'd be less likely I'd want a divorced woman.

AviatorTom · Answer

Not in my current situation, I'm in a relationship with my SO.

If I was single, I would date a woman who's separated... if she convinced me that the marriage was over and it was just a matter of time before divorce.

Hans222 · Answer

I would date the person but just to learn to know each other. No real relationship before she's officially single again. I'm a good guy and fairly good in keeping my hormones under control 😂

exitseven · Answer

I would date somebody that was separated. I would probably want some background information and a definition of the word "separated". Also if the ex was in the Mafia or was a Navy Seal I might think twice.

Harleigh90 · Answer

Learnt recently, dating some who's come out of a long term relationship, has the same issues as dating someone who's separated from a marriage.
If its clear the relationship is over I'm happy to to date them. You can't divorce overnight so won't hold that against them.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Yes at my age. At your age no. At my age it's just too damn common. At your age you can avoid it. It's not cheating at that point but it's definitely unnecessary drama.

Anonymous · Answer

I dated a guy who’s divorce was still pending/processing when we met. But they had been done for a long time before that. Does that count? He made us celebrate when he finally got his divorce certificate 🎉. We’re both getting married next year now.

Cherry234 · Answer

Yeah I probably wouldn't. Not until that man gets a divorce. I don't want to get caught up in a huge mess and have it affect my relationship

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

Right now I wouldn't want to date someone that has been married. I feel lie there would be some issues present if someone young had been married and divorced.

In the future, I wouldn't date them unless the divorce is final - and hopefully had been able to work through their issues, being single before I would start dating them

Screenwriter · Answer

I stumbled into this once because the guy wasn't forthright. Never again. Divorce was not final but he was dabbling and I was the dabble. Never works out. You're really a rebound. First person out of the gate with them.

They always end up with someone else. You're just a placeholder.

Worse yet, is the separated person who returns to their spouse! Double eck.

RebeccaBI2000 · Answer

Separated does not mean divorced. They could be doing therapy or working things out. What was the reason for the separation is another thing. I need them divorced and no drama.

Romulus8817 · Answer

Yes. because a mature person understands that a divorce can be a lengthy, tedious process, and that doesn't mean that a person in the process of a divorce should be denied the opportunity to find someone new.

If the person you're potentially dating can't understand that, take it as a red flag and move on.

worldscolide · Answer

yeah im not stepping in that pile of shit. If she is not fully single, as in not divorcing but divorced, and completely single. I want nothing to do with her.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

No. As far as I'm concerned, she is still his wife. I will not consort with another man's wife. Also, I wouldn't date her if they divorced when he never cheated on her.

Peenshake · Answer

Tempting but no. But also if I saw they were ins some sort of abusive predicament where they're stuck together with someone else, then sure I'll try n help with that. But would need to see their relationship myself

Avicenna · Answer

No, I'd be too skeptical that she is actually just trying to cheat.

Hulk30 · Answer

ill disscect this 1 by sayin that there's 2 kinda folks that won't get this due to how they been connditioned by the white supremacist system that we live in through religion the main kind would be religious folks the second kind are non-religious folks that follow religious principles both folks gotta understand that a weddin ceremony dont make ya married and ill go into the most easily understandable version of the holy bible the new living translation in order to prove it and it says in genesis 4:1 now adam had sexual relations with his wife eve and she became pregnant and it says from matthew18:8-9 jesus replied moses permitted divorce as a concession to your hard hearts but it was not what God had originally intended and i tell you this whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery unless his wife has been unfaithful

SunnySensei · Answer

I won't date someone unless they are divorced cause I believe they still have a chance of getting back together, Miss and I don't want to ruin that

FreyaRed · Answer

A I despise cheating and I don't want to be a cheating enabler.

Dinklex3 · Answer

They need to be actually divorced.  I don't want any drama or trouble later.

Moose304 · Answer

I don't date married women! Even if they are separated and waiting on the divorce to become final. However, I do sometimes take a female friend out to dinner. I do NOT touch her in any way. We do NOT dance etc. I have the utmost respect for marriage boundaries and will not cross one. I also do not date any women exclusively. So because of both situations, my answer is a resounding NO!

paradiseonearth93 · Answer

I did and it didn’t affect our relationship. We all acted maturely. They shared a child who was 3 so they saw each other often. I never met his ex but she didn’t create any issue. I didn’t worry about them either... they lived separately and it was clear there wasn’t genuine love left.

CandaceSims201 · Answer

Would I waste my time on a married man who is separated? I would rather find a single man instead.

Floppy2112 · Answer

I mean the divorce has to be in process, it cannot be just something they are putting off. But the wheels of the justice system moves slow, you cannot do anything about the time. If it were up to me, I would have been divorced in less than a week, but the court takes a year. Not my fault, so I wouldn't hold it against someone else.

kitty71 · Answer

I have a cousin in that position. He is 47 and he has been separated for like 11 years and legally he is not been divorced yet simply beause is not convenient for him to do so for his sake so he still legally married, separated but not legally divorced. He had been even dating a lady for 5 years already like 23 years younger than him. What a douche

Mangospacho · Answer

Nooooo. Then you’re pretty much going through the entire divorce process along with them. That can get you stabbed by the ex.

genericname85 · Answer

no. fuck that. either they are divorced or they are not single in my book. i don't date taken women.

loveslongnails · Answer

It's gotta be over, and she's gotta be over him or I'm not interested.

Riddler1412 · Answer

Probably not. The will they/ won't they get divorced would be on my mind.

dragoblack · Answer

It depends on the situation. There be cheaters out there who pretend to be separated, but married. I would need to see if there are any red flags

boxxie2002 · Answer

I would... I think it can take at least 2 years for courts to award a divorce, so that's a lot of missed opportunities to meet someone

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Depends… just have to be smart about what the other person says and does.  that piece of paper doesn’t say much nowadays.

slimshady59 · Answer

Yes I probably would they are not having sex with somebody then just being separated today or two before I don't think so because you know they make it back together little man and you know that would infer interfere with the relationship for a long long time p

Lliam · Answer

I selected B. I don't care if she had been married before, but I have the same attitude as you, Des.

AkshiJanjua · Answer

At this age of mine I won't date anyone who is divorced

Barry88 · Answer

In some cases the actual divorce can take a really long time. I don't mind if people already started dating before the divorce is finalized and I wouldn't have any problem with dating a women who is separated but not yet divorced.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

If they are attached in any way, including still 'friends' then I consider myself in a friends with benefits and intentionally don't get close. Have fun while I can, and get out when it starts to get weird.

Slayerrrrrrr · Answer

Don't agree with it but don't want to be a hypocrite either. I smashed this one girl I met on Tinder who happened to be the tightest ever, insanely tight. Only to find out a week later the that she filled for divorce

doopayo · Answer

Hell no. My dad did that shit when my mom and him were separated. He was such a man whore all his gfs went crying to my mom when he left them 💀

SphynxUK · Answer

I would. My ex dated me. I’d been separated 4 years. Divorce didn’t come until 7 months into the relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

I’m currently talking to a guy that’s separated but not fully divorced (they got married very young). I don’t think I would have a full on relationship with him but I will admit, the sex is the best I’ve ever had

crazy8000 · Answer

Depends on circumstances. Wouldn't let her get anything before it's over.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I did in my early 30's and I didn't like the experience.

humanearth · Answer

Back when I was a man whore, I didn't care if they were married, divorce, single.  90% of the time back then. I didn't even ask them

Anonymous · Answer

I would date them because I have been separated for 5 years. We are so over that we don't even want to see each other to get a divorce, she's also blocked from even calling me ever again.

Cassie_1992 · Answer

I wait at least 6 months before dating them. I don’t wanna be the rebound.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

D. anyone who goes all in on a relationship that they haven't determined compatibility for yet, is way too impulsive for me.

Anonymous · Answer

I understand for some people it is expensive but legally and eyes of God however it may go I don’t feel comfortable in that. I really feel comfortable dating somebody who’s got children with someone else who is not fully out of the picture picture

Kabluie · Answer

Yes, shit like that can take a lot of time to resolve, and love waits for no one.

anon1903 · Answer

Uncle Charlie says it's a bad idea https://youtu. be/cmnysvJEbgw

Anpu23 · Answer

Hell, I was the other guy waiting for her husband to go to work... Yes I am a cad.

Ad_Quid_Orator · Answer

Possibly. Would you date someone who was married to someone else but they did it for purely financial reasons?

Better_off_here · Answer

it is kind of considered cheating by the standard of law. i would choose not to but again i am a good person who would not want to do such a thing to anyone. even if they wanted to.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

People have to be pretty desperate to stoop that low.

cookiecrusher · Answer

Fucking NO. Doesn't take that long to get divorced.  No reason to mix myself into some drama when there are plenty of better canditates with less baggage

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