So close but so far from a proposal?

[golfergal9348]

Hey all, my boyfriend and I have come a long way in terms of communication and working through whatever is holding us back from taking this to the next level. I wholeheartedly trust his desire to marry me but it I can’t wait much longer. I was given money by my Dad when he passed and could easily pay off his and my remaining debts for 3-6 months of expenses. He seems open to the idea but too proud to ask. Seems silly to break up over this, any ideas? Thank You!

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that's really generous of you to want to help out your boyfriend like that. I know the waiting and not knowing where you stand can be so stressful.

A few thoughts - is your boyfriend usually pretty independent and proud about money stuff? If so, just offering to pay off his debts outright might hurt his pride, even if he's grateful deep down. Maybe there's a nicer way to bring it up that doesn't make him feel emasculated.

Or you could propose a compromise - tell him how much being engaged means to you, and that his debts are the only thing holding you back. Offer to contribute half the money if he pays the other half, so you're tackling it together as a team. Frame it as an investment in your future that will let you marry debt-free.

Ultimately you have to decide if not being engaged yet is a dealbreaker. But maybe coming at it from a place of love and partnership, not pressuring him, could help. With some patience and communication I'm sure you can work it out. Don't lose hope!