Best way to ask out people-pleasing guy over text?

[Bethany22]

I feel like because he's the people pleasing type, I might make him feel obligated to say yes if I text, "would you like to go out with me?". But if I ask him instead if he's looking for a girlfriend or if he's open to dating, he might not realize it's because I'm trying to ask him out (and then I won't know how I'm supposed to act around him afterwards).

Would you like to go out with me?

Are you looking for a girlfriend?

Are you in the dating mindset?

Other

[Coden7]

“Would you be interested in going out to [activity name] with me?”


Something to think about. He might not want to do that activity, but will say yes if he wants to spend time with you. Or, he’ll suggest a different time/activity to set up with you if he’s interested.

[Guacamole409]

This was a classic Seinfeld episode, and you are spot on.

[Bethany22]

@Guacamole409 there was an episode on Seinfeld that had a scene like that?

[Guacamole409]

Elaine went out with a guy many times, but it was never a real date. The guy was either clever on purpose or by accident.

"Hey, I'm going to that new ice cream shop on 47th tomorrow, you can come with me if you want."

LMAO I drove Elaine crazy, because she couldn't figure him out.

[Bethany22]

@Guacamole409 ah, okay, 😂

[Guacamole409]

I tell guys this all the time. You can only be rejected, if you set yourself up for rejection! lol
Never do that.

[Coden7]

Part of it is also being up front with what you want to do with them. If they know what you have planned, they know what to expect as far as what you are doing. If you just say “Want to come over and hang out?” They may easily assume that it’s purely sexual

[Guacamole409]

For fuck's sake, everything is sexual.
I was playing an online video game with four of us. We could all talk together. Two of them were like alley cats in heat. It was an older woman and a young buck. At one point the older lady asked if I was offended. I told her to please continue, because the banter was funner than the game. lol

[Coden7]

True. I’m primarily saying expectations are important

[Guacamole409]

My friend, that's a cage you created for yourself. My friend asked a girl to dance with him at a club.

She rejected him. He then slid over to another table and found a girl to dance with him. She did.
The first girl was furious. She wanted to control the scene, she failed.

[Coden7]

I’m not sure I understand your example. As far as the guy’s perspective, he was able to dance with someone else that he asked. The first woman became jealous, which isn’t his problem at that point

[JesseP1nk]

Look... Guys are fucking dumb on this dating shit. I suggest you be straight foward. Ask him if he is looking for a girlfriend if he says "yes" Then be like "good. Lets go out x time"

[DishLady]

Best way to ask out this type of guy is actually to ask if he's interested and let him get all excited about it and make the plans. He'll be happier that way and you'll get the date you've been waiting for.

[AviatorTom]

IMHO, best way is to be very specific, something like "I'd like for us to have dinner together, Friday night. What about it?"

[Universaldance]

Hey where do you like to hang out?


Or if youve gathered any of their hobbies to find something in common you could do together.. would be a good move to make a plan to join each other for a little bit


Or asking him what his favorite dishes are to cook- maybe he’s a good cook and hint to him to come over to show you his recipes…(there was a time I was not a good cook but if I were invited to food I would say yes in a heartbeat, sometimes the company of the opposite sex would be enough) … and I've actually had a coworker once invite me over to make some food together with her even though I wasn't into her at all. We ended up kissing and dry h**** which I enjoyed but I just wasn't in the dating mindset for anything serious

[RyanML]

Depends on the guy.
Some guys will get it that you're interested when you ask indirect questions.
Some guys won't have a clue unless you hit them with a poll (ask directly).

Telling from my personal experience. Sometimes you don't expect girls ask out/show interest like that so even with all the hints in the world, a guy might not have a clue of what's going on unless you ask directly.

Once a girl showed interest in me like that and I took time to figure it out, she seems to have confused/panicked. Then I went after her probably came too strong/pushy, she backed off and disappeared.

[ProbablyClueless]

You could say that you can't believe no one has snatched him up yet, and then ask him if he wants to go on a date with you

[NathanDavis]

"I think it would be great if you come to Costo with me...

Tuesday... 2:30pm... what do you say? yes or yes... "

[Guacamole409]

NEVER ask him "out". Coden7 said it best.

[BetaBucks]

"let me know if you want to hang out sometime?" might work.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Would you like to go out with me over text messages?

[MrGSpotHer]

Just speak to him is usually the answer to these types of questions

[FunkyMonkee]

What say you & go, aaaah... steppin'?