Is my girlfriend interested in another guy?

[Anonymous]

So I have been with my girlfriend for about 7 months now though we talked for almost a year before it was made official. Her and I work together and there is a coworker we have that I feel she may have feelings for.

The two of them worked together for about 6 months before I started working there as well and they talked all the time and still do. I have never actually seen what they talk about but I see his name pop up on her phone quite a bit.

Anytime they work the same shifts he’s constantly making her laugh, not just giggle, like keeled over and can hardly breathe laughing. She never does that with me. I’ve noticed the music that she listens to has changed and it turns out it’s his favorite artists and I’ve heard him listening to music that SHE put him onto whereas the two of us don’t really have a similar taste in music

She has also started going on “night drives” where she just drives around for about an hour listening to music and I found out that that’s something he does a lot and probably got her doing as well. They even talk about “songs that go well with night drives”. Even the way she talks is different, she uses a lot of the same slang he does.

I also found out that she asked our manager to put them on more shifts and after a shift they worked together, they sat in the parking lot and talked for two hours

In his defense, my manager told me that she got drunk one night and asked him to bring her a drink and he responded by getting mad at her for asking him and not me and said it was “an incredibly inappropriate thing to ask” and she overheard her trying to justify it to him the following day

Am I tripping or does she have a massive crush on him? Everything seems to point to yes and I don’t know what to do, I mean we live together ffs

[Oliverlogan263]

This is a tricky situation man. There does seem to be some evidence that she may be developing feelings for this other guy. A few things that stand out:

- The excessive laughing and inside jokes just with him would bother me.

- Taking on his interests in music, slang and activities like night drives is also kind of weird.

- Asking for more shared shifts and then staying to talk for two hours just them seems off.

At the same time though, his response when she asked for a drink shows he's trying to respect your relationship. And she has been with you for 7 months living together. So it's hard to say for sure if it's just an innocent friendship or something more.

My advice would be to talk to her about how some of her behaviors have been making you feel insecure. Don't accuse, but be open about your concerns. Watch her reaction - is she understanding, willing to set better boundaries? If she gets super defensive that's not a good sign.

Ask if she has feelings for him. Hope she's honest. Maybe suggest cutting back contact with him for a bit if you're still worried. Best thing is open communication here. Just don't let it drag on if she keeps dismissing your concerns man. Trust your gut.

[DishLady]

I don't get it... Are they driving around at night together? If not, what are you so worried about?

Ok, so the manager guy is not necessarily trying to encourage her to fall for him based on what you're describing. She seems a little off either way -- who asks for a drink from their manager while they're at work? Nobody *I* know, guy or girl...

Maybe she does have a crush on him, maybe she's just trying to be "one of the guys" at work. Who knows? You need to sit down and have a serious talk with her either way.

[Asker]

No she didn’t ask a manager for a drink. Let me rephrase that. She asked the GUY for a drink while she was drunk. The guy said no and the next day my manager heard her trying to justify it and him telling her it was inappropriate.

If she only talked to him at work I wouldn’t be that concerned but I’m pretty sure they talk constantly. She’s told him about her depression and other shit. Even when I’m at work WITH them she pays at least as much attention to him as she does me, sometimes even more so.

[DishLady]

Ah! Ok, ok, I get you. Yeah... How long have you two been together? (If you don't want to share that, I get it, but I only ask bc if your thing is new and she's still "looking" it sounds like she's entertaining ideas about this guy as well... ) If you've been together for a while, talk to her and see what she's thinking...

[Asker]

We’ve been official for 7 months but we were talking for 11 months before that. She met him a year ago

[DishLady]

Hmm... during your "talking" phase you were both still technically open to chat with other people. It's low class of her to be entertaining ideas of other guys when you're 6+ months into your relationship, but sh** happens... and I'm sorry it's happening to you. Talk with her and have the two options available in the back of your mind... one being a breakup, the other being giving her a few days to consider what she's doing bc the chick sounds crazy and confused. She's not relationship material bc she doesn't know herself well enough to bother getting to know you or anyone else, quite frankly.

[pianogirlmeow]

She has a massive crush on him and might’ve even dated you to get him jealous. What’s she like with you?

[Asker]

I mean we go to events like concerts quite a bit she even recently met my family. It’s hard to explain how she is with me, she’s not super distant or anything but…I don’t know she isn’t acting like how she acts with him. One of our coworkers described how we act around each other as “friendly”.

I don’t know if she dated me to make him jealous I mean we were talking for 6 months before they even knew eachother (they started working together last June, but didn’t have eachother on Snapchat until September, I know Snapchat gets a bad rep her but we’re all early 20s lol) and started dating last November. She definitely gives me more attention than she does him like I don’t see her texting him while she’s with me but I know they do a lot.

[pianogirlmeow]

Hmm, maybe they’re just good friends tho. But i can see your concern, i would say it sounds like she does have a crush on him but still likes you. Does it bother you?

[Asker]

Yeah it definitely bothers me bc it doesn’t sound anything like they’re good friends. It 100% sounds like she wants to jump his bones. I feel like we talked for 6 months, then she met this guy and maybe liked him better but stuck with me due to some prior obligation. That’s how I feel. I mean someone said my girlfriend and I seems like we’re more friends than dating.

[moneymagnet24]

One universal law...
Don't trust holes 😊

[Asker]

The hell does this mean lmao