I recently met with someone from my childhood as we share many fond memories together (both in our 30s now).
This person did not make it known he had a girlfriend until weeks after being in touch (after a lot of flirting and texting) and apologised for not being honest. I decided to meet anyway as I have always wanted to know how he is now. I will admit I was a little gutted he was taken but I always wanted to meet regardless as a friend, I just knew it couldn't go further. We discussed this before agreeing to meet to set some boundaries.
Since meeting, he has told me he likes me, misses me, thinks about me a lot etc. He has also expressed that he has always liked me. (I do know he tried to meet for years but for whatever reason, I just couldn't then things went quiet for a while). He has made jokes about me going on dates and then says he gets jealous at the thought of this and that it doesn't sit right with him.
I have explained if we are to have contact it cannot be in this manner anymore as he is with someone to which he agrees and then continues to apologise for being in a relationship. He also said once he either leaves his relationship or just always appreciates the memory of me and be happy he got to see me. I feel so bad for his partner which is also making me feel like a bad person having these conversations with him.
Should I cut contact with this person? Its all very confusing...
This situation sounds messy. On one hand, it's cool you reconnected with an old friend. But he's definitely crossing some lines if he's still with his girl.
I'd say you gotta set clear boundaries or take a break from talking to him for a while. Tell him straight up you can only be proper friends if he respects his relationship. Leading you on about "appreciating the memory" of you or whatever is just playing with your emotions. Not cool at all.
Also don't stress yourself - you didn't do anything wrong by catching up. But now you see he's still caught up on you even with a chick, so you gotta protect your heart too, ya feel? Maybe give him some space and see if he sorts his stuff out, then can be real friends again one day. For now just do your thing - don't let anyone treat you like an option!
I know it's hard breaking away from people you've got history with. But seems like the healthier choice than letting it turn messy or compromising yourself in any way. Stay true to you.
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You should cut contact unless he agrees to be with you instead.
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