Does the girl I like, interested in someone else?

[Anonymous]

Please do not be rude, thank you.

This girl and I were hitting off super well. We were talking hours on end. But then this dude in our class decided that all of the sudden he wanted to talk to her. Coming into our conversations, even going as far as trying to sit near her when I would be sitting next to her. And at first she told me that she didn’t care for this other dude, since they aren’t as close as she and I are. But after watching one movie that he recommended for her to watch, they’re always talking now and joking. Even in the groupchat we have, the guy hardly used to use but today he was all texting her on there and she was messaging him right back. She doesn’t even talk to me anymore! I tried to make moves at her to show her I was interested. But I think she might be interested in this other dude. Which pisses me off, because the guy is always hella close to another girl in our class even he claims they are just friends, so why is he trying to get at the girl that I want to get close with? And why did she stop being so close to me? We were only friends but still.

[Guy13]

What has happened here is that the other guy demonstrated that she gets her. Somehow, without knowing her well, he picked out a movie that touched her deeply. There’s something about this guy who can sense my Being so well. I’m going with this…this is different than anything ever.

It is NOT that she is hopping to another man. She is allowed Preferences. Granted, it is no fun when we are not the ones preferred. He risked, hit it, and is preferred.
It is nothing that you have done. In these cases we can only watch their thing unwind and see where it goes. It does suck-no doubt about it 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Asker]

Well damn you right, it does suck. Because I used to talk to her about movies and tv shows. But it just had to happen the day I wasn’t there that they got close. I even tried to bring up how the dude and another girl in our class are like hella close, but he was so quick to shut it down in front of her that “No her and I just friends.” Which pisses me off, because now I think that’s why she’s getting more comfortable to talk to him and be near him.

[Guy13]

Yep, we do the best we can do. It is NOT us as much as it is finding the one where we both Click. The whole process can west the hell out of us..,

[kylee2437]

@guy13 you are right but at the same time if she’s quick to jump to another guy that shows different interest , then she doesn’t seem like a worth it person for the asker to chase around. She showed her interest in the asker isn’t all there

[Asker]

@kylee2437 I honestly kind of just wish that if any of my compliments or even flirting moves at her made her feel weird in any way that she would have talked to me about it. Because I also feel hurt that when I tried to sit down next to her close she scooted away from me to give me room, but when the other dude sat down next to her after taking my spot, she relaxed back and her whole energy hella changed!

[Guy13]

Do NOT start second guessing yourself. Bits foolish and NOT what is going on here. Nothing you said pissed her off OR she would walked away long ago as you were trying to talk to her. If you act all whiny, needy, and down around her then she will notice. This will stress her and she will start going the opposite way. Bits hard to be happy for her in this situation BUT that’s your only option.

[Asker]

Damn do you think I pushed her away when I started to tell her how as a guy I have no game, and that I never been in a relationship before? I even tried to impress her by telling her about this one night stand I almost had during a Halloween party because I thought I would sound just like the other dude just like badass.

[Guy13]

Yes as that exhibits no backbone. That's something you tell someone after you have been leading her around a little bit... and she has those "in love" eyes. THEN that aspect of your life becomes a plus... has Value and your Husband stock goes up. YOu got it out of order, that is all.

[Coolwinters381]

If I were you I would not talk to her and not show interest in her. If she once had interest in you she will still most likely. Everyone wants what they can’t have so pull away from her and you’re gonna leave her with the “why isn’t he talking to me” and then she will start getting more attracted to you. I know it’s messed up but that’s how it works 😭

[Asker]

I mean I did try to do that because I wasn’t really sure if she was even slightly interested in me. So I did think to do what you just said, to see if it would give me any idea of her feelings! But then the other dude took it as an opportunity to start conversations with her. 😭

[Coolwinters381]

Honestly let him have her if she isn’t giving you time of day it’s not worth it, don’t get your heart broken :(

[kylee2437]

If she’s that quick to jump from guy to guy, then she’s not worth your time. Another guy shouldn’t have taken focus off the fact that you two have been going at it for sometime that quickly.

[Asker]

Yeah I mean we were only friends, but I thought I was making it clear to her by complimenting her, sitting down next her, going to theatre rehearsals the days she was called in for, just trying to hint at her that I like her! I don’t even know when her and this guy got so close that even when I try to join in their conversation, I end up feeling so left out.

[kylee2437]

@asker she shouldn’t be making you feel left out, but you also got your answer on how she feels about you. Someone that is interested will not ignore you or make you feel that way. Maybe you can try talking to her- but I think you do need to prepare for rejection, just in case.

[Asker]

Yeah you’re right. Heck, I even went as far as to try to convince her that the dude and another girl in our class are more than just friends. But then he just had to clear it up and tell us that “No me and her are just friends.” Hopefully I can talk to her next week in person to actually get a reason why she started to behave so differently around me.

[kylee2437]

@asker well you have your answer. She isn’t that interested but there’s other girls out there, don’t settle for one that is only a quarter bit interested in you. Who knows what the future even holds for that girl and him.

[Asker]

That is true. I’ve been trying to talk to other girls in our class. And so far I mean I think the best thing is that I’m getting to know them better instead of just closing myself off.

[dustybiker]

He’s putting in the effort. Are you?

[Asker]

I was putting in the effort. And he hardly does! I mean all he does he just quote the same movie stuff to her and she stays reacting! At least I try to talk about new things with her.

[dustybiker]

But he’s paying attention and responding with what she likes. And it’s working.

[Asker]

But shouldn’t she be bored of him repeating the same things to her? That’s what I’m not understanding. How can one movie make such a difference between those two all of the sudden?

[dustybiker]

Instead of assuming. Pay closer attention. What he is doing is working. Maybe learn from him.

[Iron_Man]

Horrible talk to her

[Asker]

But how do I talk to her without making things weird between us? Because even when I talk to her, she just ends up going somewhere else like she’s avoiding me now.

[Iron_Man]

Talk from your heart you have to do something