What's missing?

[Anonymous]

He is nice, kind, intelligent, handsome, calls me almost everyday and texts when he can. The sex is okay but great when we're high.

I don't know why I feel empty inside. Maybe it's me. Maybe there is something wrong with me. I try my hardest to feel a spark but it isn't there. Maybe there is no such thing as a spark. Maybe that's not what's needed?

I feel lost. 😪

[RespectfulGuy]

From your Details, I think you lack commitment to a long term relationship, even the possibility of marriage.

Sex is there, but it doesn't remove our needs to feel safe and secure, loved, trusted and become vulnerable.

To illustrate, things that brings fulfillment include buying a house together, family planning, start an investment, and prepare for a "future" you both want

Mundane these may sound, they fill the "holes" in our life when we do with our trusted life partner.

This could be what you need.

[meepmeeperton]

You’re addicted to drugs and have no direction in life. Can’t even enjoy simple intimacy sober. Intimacy with someone you really love feels like a drug. You shouldn’t need to be high for it to be great.

If you’re listing all these other great things about him but just don’t feel a spark maybe you need to sort yourself out and you’re the problem. Otherwise maybe you think that he’s “objectively” a good person, but you don’t actually love him.

[Asker]

I'm not addicted to drugs. It's just slightly better when high.

But perhaps I am the problem. He's a good guy. I am a mess. He deserves better.

[meepmeeperton]

Well it can also be the case that you logically understand he has good qualities but don’t feel emotionally connected to him, and that could happen for a variety of reasons and doesn’t necessarily mean it’s anyone’s fault.

[Alli112]

Sounds like he's your type on paper, but not in reality? Like, maybe you don't find him fun to be around despite his good qualities, or maybe you're just not ready for a relationship.

[DextroShade]

Based on your age you are likely ran-through and have lost your ability to pair-bond.

[Asker]

I've only been with on other guy before him. So I am certainly not "ran-through."

[xavid9]

Then he may be boring or you might like the person who have more humour