My boyfriend became an alcoholic after I had our son. He don't want to seek help. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

[osmanthus]

If he's violent, seek shelter elsewhere; the city phone line likely will have operators that can provide transitional housing and support to you and your son. Police might have to apprehend your boyfriend and court order him to undergo alcohol detox and wean him off it. You don't have to return to this boyfriend but know that if you can't eek out life as a single mother it's best to have your son adopted and visit him when you're in a better financial headspace.

[osmanthus]

The worst scenario is that this boyfriend stalks you but you'll have to get a restraining order and or else, if it's really bad, have him detained and move elsewhere to start anew.

[osmanthus]

Very clearly, if this man has a history of abusing you physically, it's best to avoid him. If you have good reason to fear for your life because of his behavior whilst drunk, tell this to authorities and it might happenstance that he gets locked up for attempted murder of you and or your son.

[osmanthus]

Police may be able to keep tabs on him; where he goes, specifically, if they can't jail him indefinitely, to protect you both.

[osmanthus]

It may be best to write a letter to this boyfriend explaining why you're leaving him and that you don't have a choice, since he won't change. This may provide closure to this man instead of him assuming you're actively evading him without good reason; sometimes, men are so dense that they won't take the hint unless you spell it out for them word-for-word on paper.

[osmanthus]

You can't expect him to change. You can only do what you can with what you have. Maybe one day he will undergo some workshop on healthy relationships but it's not something you nor authorities can impose on him. He might never take ownership or accept responsibility for his part in breaking you two apart and even if he does it's not a safe bet to ever return to a man like this who is too stubborn to admit to any wrongdoing.

[osmanthus]

If you've sustained considerable abuse, you might have to seek out therapy after all the dust on this settles; employment insurance might be able to cover for such cases but you can ask for a sliding scale of payment to make psychological sessions easier to pay for out of pocket.

[dreamstar72]

Ex him