Is it distasteful for men to post shirtless pics of themselves on dating apps or social media? Why or why not?

[HawkPerception]

Yes

No

Updates

1 y

So here's another question. Would it be fine if the guy has a dad bod?

[DizzyDesii]

I mean its hot but it def gives vibes that he's in it for the wrong reasons. I wouldn't look twice at…

-a shirtless guy (well okay yes i would but i wouldn't swipe right lol)

-a guy cuddling a pet indoors/in bed (since I’m not into indoor pets especially cats, dogs, and reptiles)

-a guy cuddling his sister or mom (cause it seems incestual or like he's a mamas boy and the fams opinions will greatly interfere with our relationship)

-a guy with a newborn or more than one kid

-a guy posing with a sports car

-a guy playing videogames (cause he likely plays them 4+ hours a day)

-a guy smoking a cigarette, weed, vape, etc

-a guy holding a bottle of alcohol (or a beer in nearly every pic)

-a guy holding a spread of money (and i wouldn’t be surprised if he's a drugdealer)

-a guy posting a pic in several diff countries, saying he wants to travel the world for the next few years

-a guy who lists atheist on his profile

-a guy who lists anything other than straight (lgbtabc)

-a guy with a bunch of tattoos

-a guy with a bunch of piercings

-a guy with the George Michael cross earring

[Lynx122]

That's a long list XD

[DizzyDesii]

@Lynx122 lol I’m just not about the bullshit lol

[SpeedAnswerDemon]

for me, personally, its a 100% red flag if a girl has a picture of them holding a Double ristretto venti half-soy nonfat decaf organic chocolate brownie iced Vanilla double-shot gingerbread frappuccino extra hot with foam whipped cream upside down double blended, one Sweet N'Low and one nutrasweet, and ice shake 💅

and, also, we can't forget the #1 red flag for a girl, its when they are holding a a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe, on a raft, four-by-four animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim 💅

[DizzyDesii]

@SpeedAnswerDemon I understand the sarcasm, but i probably wouldn’t date someone who needs coffee daily/weekly. I only drink it twice a year if that

[moneymagnet24]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[on_my_knees]

I cuddle my cats in the nude while I fan myself with shit tons of money. Your loss.

[SereneScribe3]

Most of the stuff that you listed is understandable, but why is traveling to a lot of countries a red flag lol? Unless of course, someone is more of an indoor person and prefers stability, or staying in one place

[DizzyDesii]

@SereneScribe3 For me its all about stability. If i visit another country, it would likely be Canada (been there), Australia, and Bahamas… possibly Italy and Bali. But I mainly want to be in one place (USA) and start a family. Maybe one trip a year but several domestic trips. A lot of guys looking to travel the world are not trying to start a family anytime soon. They want to be “free”

[DizzyDesii]

@on_my_knees i doubt i missed much other than your cat choking on a hairball. But im glad you’re enjoying life

[moneymagnet24]

Dizzy you're truly awesome after this big no list you are settled with bald boyfriend. 😊

[DizzyDesii]

@moneymagnet24 lmao the most recent guy who asked me out actually was bald 😂 And i chose not to settle for that. I want someone with hair i can run my fingers through. I still have good options out there despite what you think

[moneymagnet24]

Aw my dizzy touch ya boobs 😘
You know you're not less than Emma Watson. Did you know that?

[DrPepper12]

All excellent observations. Its you're one chance to cast the widest net.

[DrPepper12]

@SpeedAnswerDemon THATS FUNNY!!!

[SpeedAnswerDemon]

@DrPepper12 AHHUGTHGH

jIQongnIS
wow, klingon really shortens shit huh?

[CrazyGirl2]

I don't think it’s distasteful, but I wouldn't ever pick a guy who did pose shirtless on a dating app. But then again I’ve never used any dating apps, so... ¯\_(ッ)_/¯

Look, every dating app picture tells you something about the person. So if a guy posts a picture shirtless, what does that tell you about him? Well it tells you that he’s arrogant! He believes his body is SO great that you just have to see it! It also tells you that he is likely not very intelligent. If he was, then he wouldn't need to show off his chest and abs, he could just tell you about his MENSA membership, and his academic achievements, or he could tell you the last three books he read, or any one of a plethora of intellectual accomplishments! But if he’s showing off his body… Then that is likely the height of his life’s achievements. Who want’s to date a guy whose greatest achievement in life is lifting heavy things over and over?

[Levin]

But why do we have to create this dichotomy between the physical and the intellectual?

I've been strength training for 6 years. As an extreme ectomorph, it's very difficult for me to put on weight. I have put some modest weight on. But any strength gains have been hard fought and hard won.

being able to press those few extra kg over your head, can take 6 months of dedication alone. I'm up to about good quality 12-14 pullups per set. Takes years to refine the movement, get the body awareness, strength, injury prevention, etc. You learn so much in the process.

A healthy, strong and capable body, one that doesn't easily get sick or seldom causes pain. 'tis our vessel to carry us through this brutish existence. I've built a fairly robust body. I used to get sick multiple times a year. Now, touch wood, I seldom get sick.

The best people, in my opinion, are balanced individuals.

Sure, there is the gym wanker. But there is also intellectual wankery.

And you know, it's excellent for mental health.

[Levin]

Also, sorry if I'm annoying. You know my personality by now 🙂

[CrazyGirl2]

1 of 2
@Levin You are not annoying me, I just wasn't here. I've been getting a ketamine treatment, at the place where I do my externship! the whole think takes like 4 hours, and Lee has to pick me up! B/C I can’t drive after it! The best thing about it (other than the multiple great nights of sleep I get, and the reduced pain from my gymnastics injuries.) Is that they give me the rest of the week off, but they don't tell my school that I wasn't there! So I get the credit for being there!

Now to your reply: congratulations, I am one of the few non-ectomorphic people who know what an ectomorph is. So yes, obviously with you being an ectomorph, there's no possible way, you could build a bulky muscular body. That being said, I don't know why you're worried about the "physical vs. intellectual dichotomy”. For one, I don't really understand what you mean? My ex-boyfriend was an athlete and he just won a Rhodes scholarship, and I believe he's already left for England, I imagine he'll be studying at Oxford in the fall. I always knew he was extremely intelligent, but I had no idea he would ever end up as a Rhodes scholar! I know this is only anecdotal but just being here on campus I see lots of guys with great bodies who are incredibly gifted academically, I think this dichotomy of which you speak is a false dichotomy. There are lots of really great guys with amazing bodies who are absolutely brilliant. Sure, there are some assholes who work out at the gym, but there are assholes who are fat and flabby and academically gifted, there are also assholes who're fat and flabby and barely scraping by! Also, there are really sweet skinny guys who are gifted academically, and there are skinny guys who are assholes and are barely scraping by, and… Well, pretty much any combination that you can think of.

[CrazyGirl2]

2 of 2
The bottom line here is that I don't think you can define a human being's worth or intelligence based on whether they have a muscular body! My Point was simply that if a guy on a dating app shows himself shirtless, then he's already advertising that he has nothing else to offer but his looks and his body! As a woman, when I see a shirtless guy on a dating app I know that he's only interested in a hook up! (Because if he was interested in a long-term relationship, he would focus more on his likes, dislikes, and interests, and not just his body!) That's all I meant.

[RingOfFire]

Another home run post and similar to my thoughts about girls who post half naked pictures on the Internet. Makes them seem like empty vessels with nothing else to offer.

[Dongie]

Yeah, because women NEVER show off their attributes!!🙄

[CrazyGirl2]

@RingOfFire Thanks, I completely agree. Vapidity has no gender boundaries, and I wouldn't date a vapid man, if I were paid to do it! I want a man with some substance. The whole “looks” thing only holds one’s attention for a short time. But a guy (or woman) who literally fascinates you, is your true friend, and is the one person you most want to spend time with (and not just for sex), THAT is the guy I want to marry. So thank god I just described my fiancé! 😮‍💨 Men and women, who display themselves like pieces of meat in a butcher’s shop ARE fun to play with for a short time, but especially for a woman, we leave a piece of ourselves with every past lover. So if I had a body count that was more than 3, (or in the case of some girls my age, 30 or 300 even!) Then there is nothing left for the poor bastard who ends up marrying us when we rapidly approach that wall! I feel sorry for them, they have no idea how limited their options will be when they DO hit that wall, and need to settle for whomever will marry a high mileage used car of a woman at 35, after 20+ years of fu**ing every Chad they see! I know I never wanted a guy who’s been with more than 2 or three girls, and I know for a fact that guys don’t get attached to lovers the way we do. Oxytocin, it’s a bitch, but it does bond us to every guy we've ever slept with! So yes, deep connections are the most important thing to a lasting relationship. If someone is the kind of person who is intelligent and accomplished, they won’t be posting half-naked profile pics on dating sites, because they are not just selling sex, they are selling the whole package!

[DishLady]

in my opinion it can be distasteful, esp if it’s overdone.


Perhaps once in a group pic at a beach party etc it’s ok, but to constantly post… what’s the guy doing, bragging? We get it… nice abs.


(by the way, same goes for women and the constant boob/duckface pics with the ass sticking out, 🙄🙄🙄. We get it… you have boobs/ass/etc.)

[Dongie]

Are we happy today?

[SpeedAnswerDemon]

an eye for an eye
but yeah, I hate that shit

[DishLady]

“We” is a tough call @dongie. I’m currently fending off the last tipsy stragglers of the memorial service.

[DishLady]

@SpeedAnswerDemon it’s just overdone in my opinion

[Dongie]

Who's service.

[kylee2437]

A guy that posts pics like this, usually have nothing more to offer than their body.

[Dongie]

What if he had a few extra pounds?

[Avicenna]

If women like what they see, they'll have no problem with it

[AviatorTom]

It's only distasteful if they don't look good without a shirt. Most women like looking at a good looking guy without a shirt.

[alice55]

I wouldn't use this words but if I see such a pics and especially if the guy is muscular I would think of the guy as a fuckboy / player, he would most likely be only interested in sexting and doing it with hundred of women, better to avoid those (if in search of serious relationship).

[alice55]

It also mean he's in need of constant attention and validation not a good things for a partner.

[HawkPerception]

So what about girls that post bikini shots on social media and dating apps?

[alice55]

It's exactly the same things, both are the same. Mainly need of attention / validation, etc...

[HawkPerception]

So you don't believe in the saying "Flaunt it if you got it"?

[alice55]

Dressing sexy in everyday life is ok I think but posting it on social media is on another level, I don't know to me it doesn't feel the same, if you flaunt what you have in everyday life you most likely won't get any compliment, some staring maybe but most likely nobody would say anything about it but on internet if you do some bikini / shirtless pics you will get tons of "dirty" compliment and attention.
Every guy I talked to who had those kind of pictures had always been cheater who talked to hundred of women so I don't see those pics as good but more like a red flag because of my experience with those.

[HawkPerception]

Fair enough

[NamerOfStars]

No- or at least, not inherently. It sends a message about what you're after, and what you're offering, which COULD be seen as kinda crass, though I wouldn't call it distasteful, except that it's, y'know, a dating program. That's to be expected, really.

And hey, there's no reason those who're into men shouldn't get their share of eye candy, too; it's only fair.

[DarkCarousel]

I say this as an infrequent user of dating apps— whenever I see a shirtless guy’s profile, I don’t swipe to match with him. It’s hard not to pass quick judgement and assume that he commonly posts shirtless pictures other on social media. I’m not really interested in that sort of lifestyle.
Let’s say it’s a casual beach picture compared to a shirtless gym selfie, I’d feel a little different and might give it some consideration.

[PeachyPie93]

It kind of is.. since I feel they are on the same level as girls posting bikini pics. Not my type of person. I would assume they get around and that is their reason they are on the app. To get attention and whore around. lol

[RingOfFire]

Seems to me about the same level as a girl with pics of her boobs hanging half way out. I don't know if it's "distasteful" because that's subjective. But it tells you something about them that you may or may not like.

I certainly wouldn't want to date a girl who is posting half naked pictures of herself on the Internet.

[OfMiceandMen]

Guys who have to show you a shirtless picture are the one's all about getting in your pants. To them, they have no other identifiable features other than their body that makes them unique.

... and that's okay as that maybe all the girl is interested in. Shallow gets shallow.

[MikeTheBartender]

I've had sex with over 200 women in 27 countries, my dating profile has 90 percent of the time has had a shirtless pic.. You tell me what you think?

[Lynx122]

Social media and dating apps are about superficial qualities so I don't think it's a problem.

[Twalli]

Girls post bikini pictures, so why can't guys post pictures when they're essentially wearing swimwear?

[DrPepper12]

Any type of bod can and should be posted shirtless. Why not?

[Dongie]

Nah. Done in the proper setting and context it's fine.

[Jackblue]

This isn't the 90's any more, guys flaunting their shirtless bodies isn't sexy it is vain and stupid.

[HawkPerception]

Are you saying everyone in the past has the wrong mentality?

[handsomelad70]

Kinda, because it creates the impression that you're a dumb beefcake.

[dolemite58]

It’s not distasteful but it doesn’t have the same positive effect that a girl showing a bikini pic would if that’s what you’re going for

[thenerdone]

Depends on the context, really. Is it a shirtless pic, or does he just happen to be shirtless?

[Kingofkings1992]

I wouldn’t call it distasteful necessarily, but it would usually be the telltale sign of a low quality partner.

[spartan55]

100% douche move