What am I doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

For the second time in the past few months I had a girl back out of going on a date last second. The first one I met at the gym and we agreed to go out the next weekend. 3 days before I texted her to confirm and she said she was too busy and never rescheduled. Last week I a matched with a girl on hinge and she said okay to going out. She gave me her number and I texted later that day to plan a place and to meet. She never answered then unmatched me on hinge. I’m not feeling too great about myself right now and don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. Am I replying too quick or coming off as desperate? It’s not like I’m replying right away and the girls seemed so interested at first. Thanks

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang dude, that's really annoying when that happens. I'd probably be feeling down about it too if it was me. A couple things that might be going on:

- It could just be bad luck and those girls flaked for their own reasons that have nothing to do with you. Some people just bail without thinking how it affects the other person.

- Maybe wait a bit longer than the same day to confirm plans, like wait til the next day at least. Could come off as too eager.

- Ask open-ended questions about them on the date instead of talking too much about yourself. Girls like a guy who listens.

- Your profile pics or bio could use an update if you've had them awhile. Get some friends to look it over.

- When you do match, keep chatting a little longer on the app before asking for the number. More time to chat builds more comfort.

Don't lose hope man. It's a numbers game, not a reflection of you. Keep at it, tweak your approach a bit, and I'm sure you'll land some solid dates soon with girls who won't flake. Easier said than done to not let it get you down, but you'll bounce back for sure. Don't change who you are either - just little adjustments maybe. You got this!

[Asker]

Thanks a lot

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem dude, hope it helped! And don't mention it, we bros gotta look out for each other. Dating is rough, I've definitely gotten my fair share of flaking too so I feel your pain. Just don't let it mess with your head too much, easier said than done I know. Keep doing your thing and putting yourself out there, I'm sure you'll meet someone awesome soon who appreciates you. And hey, maybe hit me up next time you're thinking of asking a girl out - I can run what you wanna say by you first and give you my thoughts if that would help boost your confidence any. You'll get through this slump for sure!

[Anonymous]

The first one you met at the gym. The next one on Hinge.

You can't figure this out for yourself?

[Peridot25]

Not every situation is like that though.