What am I doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

To give some background, I'm quite busy for my age. I'm 24 and I own my own business outfitting emergency vehicles. I'm also a part-time supervisor at the local ambulance service and I'm my town's assistant fire chief. I've had two relationships, one of which I ended due to it being a dumpster fire that I don't even think I could extinguish and the second one was ended because I wasn't one to necessarily show a ton of affection in public.

I've always been more introverted I believe and I never got out much in my late teens and earlier 20's as I was focused on working and being a firefighter. I had a fair deal of friends but I didn't get out as much as others. However, I socialize quite a bit now but it almost always involves work or being with my co-workers outside of work. I don't drink alcohol so that also presents a problem as that seems to be the "norm" of today's world. I've been told that I don't look horrendous and that I'm supposedly a "good catch" due to my positive and helpful nature. However, I don't seem to get far when I try to talk to women. I feel like I'm going to offend someone and I have trouble flirting for that reason. I've asked a few women on dates but I've always been rejected and/or tossed into the friend zone. I'm hoping someone has some insight on what I'm doing wrong and how I can improve. I have also attached a few pictures for some reference because who knows, maybe I'm a little less than average. It's very difficult for me to dress "in style" due to the nature of what I do but I suspect that may be part of the issue.

Updates

8 mo

To clarify, I was broken up with in my second relationship.

[artgorgeous]

My honest opinion. You probably are doing wrong nothing. Its all about the attractiveness and your look. When women tell you that you look nice or that looks are not important for a man, that more important is personality - they all lie to you. They tell this just because of empathy and because they don't want to be rude. You look like an average guy, like most of the guys women never notice. Nowadays women receive too much attention from random guys because of social media and portrayed successful and beautiful lifestyle etc. Women nowadays have higher reach from different men than ever before, that is why, for the average man its even more difficult to find a woman. Women will always look for the guys of a "higher league", they need "chads". The only thing you can do to yourself to increase chances of getting more attention from women is to change your appearance. They want a lean guy with attractive face. But there isn't much you can do about this. Try building some muscular mass, lose fat and become lean, make your face more lean. Maybe change your haircut, or even if you want to go to the extreme - face plastic surgery. This might help, it can add more points to your overall look. I recomment following youtube channel "Wheat Waffles" where the guy explains all this in details.

[EricSummer]

You picked these two photos for us and they distract me a bit from the details of your story. We should check with women but I can see how it can be toughm A professional photographer could probably do a better job, though.

Is this how you smile in reality? It seems awkward. It looks like you are uncomfortable smiling. You also need to do something with your hairstyle. Is it currently done by a relative?

It's odd that you describe your first relationship as a dumpster fire that you could not extinguished. Love has often been compared to burning, but why would you extinguish it? It seems like you can only think of firefighting.

A makeover may be the best starting point.

[Asker]

I always smile oddly in pictures. I don't know why that is but I've always been that way. There are some pictures out there where I have a smile that doesn't seem so awkward but I can't find them at the moment. In terms of my haircut, I've gotten the same haircut forever. I don't exactly know what's "in" but I generally wear a hat all day regardless.

[Nikki1989]

Well, don't ask that question here for a start.

[Honest-Matt]

You are in fact a good catch and exactly what a woman wants as a husband. You actually bring a lot of value as a potential partner and that can be discouraging to girls who aren't at that same level, which is good, don't waste your time. Right now it's a difficult time to date in North America as well. I would make time to pick up some kind of additional social interest. Go to church, a club of some kind, volunteer; these won't directly find you a partner but will widen your social circle leading to opportunities to find one. You can also experiment with your appearance, try a new style of glasses, a new haircut next time you go in to the barber, pickup new exercise routines that define areas of the body you don't typically focus on, get in a good tan. Subtle changes in appearance goes a long way.

[Anonymous]

You will probably be fine later on.

Right now you aren't hot enough to be the cock carousel and aren't old enough for those who are ready to settle down.

[exitseven]

I don't know. Maybe you are looking for the wrong type of woman. You seem like a solid ambitious guy and you don't have two heads. Maybe look for someone who you have common interests with.

[Iron_Man]

Where are you meeting these girls? Try church

[Asker]

Typically, through my job as a Paramedic. That is how my last two relationships started. My co-workers often times encourage me to try to talk to women who work at the hospital (s) that we go to locally.

[Honest-Matt]

Make an ass of yourself and ask one out. You'll either learn a good lesson for next time or land a date.

[Iron_Man]

That’s enough of that go to church

[Honest-Matt]

Church is great for integrating in a community, meeting new groups and people. Church events and whatnot are great. Religious family's are encouraging for helping find suitors too.

[Iron_Man]

@Honest-Matt start going to church then eventually you will meet a girl

[Asker]

@Honest-Matt I gave that a whirl once and got shot down. I have to try and work my way up to try it again.

[Anonymous]

Lose some fat and get a jawline and I am sure you are good to go

It's not that hard , trust me