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Maybe I'm just reaching but this post is screaming hypocritical feminist
What makes you say that?
You are asking this question as if women get "judged more" for their past than men.
(either way I didn't sleep much I'm tired, IM GOING TO BED) π
Socially, thereβs more attention on female past than menβs.
@Jay-_- , @MzAsh has a point. Itβs not a blind βfeministβ claim in this case. Itβs an actual sociological issue that still hasnβt been addressed, even by feminists, who call each other βbitchβ/βhoeβ and other derogatory things to βnormalizeβ rather than eradicate the problem. The concept of empowerment has been warped by using insults, poor conduct etc to justify certain thingsβ¦ but none of that eradicates the problem. :(
@DishLady , I want to agree with you but I can't, maybe men are more discreet about it but it happens to both genders a lot, I don't think you can put statistics on it until it truly has been proven from every single person on earth that has lived and continues to live, men also deal with this problem a lot to say "as much as women" like men don't deal with it a lot as well (not saying she's a feminist I was over exaggerating with that one) but she is incorrect if she truly believes women deal with it "more" and vise versa, as a person who has barely lived yet I've seen it a lot from both sides of the table. Can't say more, let's look at instagram for example go under a women's post you'll see maybe one or 2 haters but then you see a lot more "you go girl" or "you are beautifulπ" go under a mans post you are gonna see all the haters that hide under a rock (which also happens on some womens post as well but not as harsh, SOMETIMES.) if she's objectifying herself that's when a lot of men start bashing the women, but that's just an example reason I can't agree that one has it more than the other.
@DishLady , Us men we just take it, we are not over here saying "we get judged MORE for our past" but like I said when I called her a "feminist" I was off no sleep talking out my butt π
I've seen a lot of men getting judged for their past emotions past judgement, etc. @DishLady
JJ, give me time to read this when I get to my computer, kk? The phone app keeps cutting off to a β+β and shuts down when I click the β+β. π
Okay dishy take your time π
β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
Hey JJ, Ok, so to your point... men are high-fived and considered "studs" when they have a 2-digit body count... they're considered popular in high school, college and onward and the more of a reputation they have the easier it seems to be for them to find (certain types of) women who are willing to uncross their legs for a shot at the reputed guy.
Perhaps when it's time for a guy to marry a good girl the girl's family might protest about a guy who gets around. Currently there are comments made by serious-minded women about certain guys being "f boys" but honestly? An "f boy" will manage to land some P one way or another. The only other terms for "a guy with a past" are player or bachelor... and those two are fairly positive. No one walks around thinking to pin scarlet letters on a guy, you know?
IG and social media are not reality... I'm talking about reality.
Also, the problem isn't the objectification of women, but the demonization of women as being whores, harlots, jezebels, hoes, etc. etc. etc. since as far back as Eve herself. Society has not let up. There are LITERALLY college teachers, Sunday preachers and several community leaders and educators ACTIVELY TEACHING guys and gals that women are born sinful temptresses... that the sins of the entire world are our faults... and so the seed of judgement about women's sexual status comes from there... It's sewn into the fabric of the entire Judeo-Christian community... It's a very unfortunate truth. No amount of feminist noise is going to magically erase generations of judgement from the dawn of time... "Eve the temptress" and "poor Adam the (admittedly horny) ultimate good guy/sucker"...
Do I believe that women carry the sin of the universe on their shoulders? No, it's nonsense, but so many prevalent communities DO believe it that it's a daily promethean battle for most women to fight regardless of how many they've been with.
(CONTINUING)
On a more personal note, I was burned by judgement and my past consists of a number in the single digits... having only been with the limited couple of people who planned on marrying me. The family of the second guy disapproved of me for having been married before, and though I met that guy at a church function and everything was very above board, his mom treated me as if I was some kind of whore, accusing me of "being out on the street" (aka, being at the community house with her son on a long weekend my kids were visiting their dad). Even the priest stepped in to correct her, but by then the damage was done. A bunch of my friends were there, luckily, to defend me when I was speechless... Within a month the mom set her son up with someone she approved of and shipped him off to get married to a "truly single woman" (aka someone who hadn't been married before). Was this new gal a virgin? No... Was she a better person? No... Could/would she make all the grand babies this woman was craving? Nope...
The mom came to regret her decision and ultimately even got to know and befriend me... She sees me at church today, for example, and hugs me tight but passed right by her son and daughter-in-law. π€·π»ββοΈ Moreover, now that the shitstorm of criticism has blown over several of our mutual friends agree that she was just being stubborn all those years ago and was afraid of public image... Meanwhile, had she agreed to do it sooner my present -- and her son's -- would be way more different and more fulfilling right now.
(CONTINUING)
No one cares about IG and the social media. You can switch that off and ignore it whenever you want. No one believes the "go girl" posts that, in person, everyone would mutter "hoe" or worse...
You CAN'T switch off people actively messing with your life, spitting at you and carrying on in public, which is what I'm commenting on.
(Sorry, JJ. You know I don't like to disagree with my friends, but this one we may just have to agree to disagree bc I've lived through the shit and seen the worst happen because of it.)
yes of course we can agree to disagree, I believe it happens to both, it's ignorant to say one specific gender has it worse.
And I don't only believe, I've experienced it first hand and second hand.
That was my point if it wasn't clear, both genders experience getting judged from someone's past, reason there is a quote saying "don't judge someone off their past" I don't think that was made because a gender had it "worse" than the other.
As a guy who was on the cubby side I was judged pretty harshly so I think you are speaking very one sided on if the guy is a stud to begin with
You have to remember there are categories for everything a percentage of this and a percentage of that.
But that's not what's being discussed here (the chubby/bullying)... but the "past" (relationship-wise).
*** I definitely hear you on the bullying thing and yeah, that def happens to both guys and girls, and I def saw that happen to both guys and gals even to this day... But I don't think that's what the question is primarily about... (Perhaps I'm wrong there.) ***
Also, sorry I had to post three boxes like that... I didn't know G@G capped off replies! π
No I mean I'm general both genders are judged on their past is the point I'm trying to make I've been judged a lot called a "fuck boy" (forgive my language) or guys that "think with their dicks" and I don't know if you knew but guys are also called "man whores" it's not just woman that get the past thrown in their face π and it's okay you don't have to apologize I love the passion. Lol
Yes, true, and I mention "f-boy" and "man whore" in my reply to you, but more common are player, bachelor, stud and titles that aren't as horrible as what girls are called. Even "man whore" is a new thing because "whore" has always referred to the female...
I don't know... The bottom line really is that the world is upside down for all of us and we're desperate when we hit that sort of status... I know a guy who openly admits, "I used to be a f boy till I met ___ and now my problem is that she doesn't think I'm serious" (or the girl knows other girls he's been with...). But there's a way to show the girl and her family that he's serious.
By contrast, imagine now a conservative gal who's simply divorced because she got out of a bad marriage with a cheating f boy... SHE is treated like a whore for being a divorcee. Why? Why isn't the guy getting any heat?
Isn't that the fault of the person who has bad judgement? that doesn't go for all men and woman, people with their morals in check know who's wrong example if a dumb guy cheating on a woman a person who's not thinking with half of half of brain will know that the guy didn't deserve her and vise versa.
this app shows you how ignorant and how much people are lacking in the brain department π
The point is that folks end up judging HER, not HIM although he's the one who cheated. :(
The guy can move on more easily even though he has poor judgement. The woman (even the one who has good judgement) is still slammed and labeled just for getting away from him.
But guys get bashed a lot maybe that your era but no one in my age is calling a man a "stud" they are getting the most demeaning words to ever exist. (Same for women in my generation) we don't use bachelors either. It's always the worst of the worst. Maybe that's just my generation and millennials.
Which is why we both have valid points.
I heard this saying to many times than normal "your dad should've jerked off a little more so you wouldn't be here" I've heard this a lot more then I should've from a person to a man, what do we do, we laugh it offπ
(Is that some kind of guy-to-guy joke? I've never heard that one. Sounds gross.)
No it's not a joke. It's something that guys would rather take as a joke because if not it becomes a late night thought π
what I put in quotation was something that this guy said to this guy and in an argument.
But that's just the tip of the iceberg π§
I would never joke like that, that's out of character to the person I am. (Last message sorry)
Why would I defend it. I like my lifestyle of being a whore. Potential partners will have to deal with it ;P
A *manwhore
ππ haha man whore!
I wouldn't judge you for it. Even if we became partners. I'd live swapping tales and knowing we have lived a exciting and varied life and hopefully together can make new stories to (probably not) tell the grandkids ! π
*love swapping
@Crimsyjo not all women are as non-judgmental as you I suppose ;P I agree with everything except telling our kinky sex stories to grandchildren lol ;)
Yh haha. I did say probably not lol. But welli work with elderly people. a lot in old age and with dementia lose their inhibitions. Start saying all sorts of things lol. One lady asked a old man if his willy was as cold as his hands were! He couldnt get away fast enough π another says shhhh dont tell my daddy about Tom. He would be furious if he knew... π
There's nothing to defend. There's only acceptance of what is. Don't like it? Move on.
I would not had to. I dont do any of that shit. I dont date whores, i dont drink till i pass out, i dont have one night stands.
Girls, if the roles were reversed and women were held accountable for everything as much as men and no ability to complain about insignificant things, how would you handle it? 😂😂😂
Men are judged as much women about there past already. Career?
I wouldn't bother defending it, other people's opinions of me are none of my business,,,
Shoot, guys are prejudged. Obviously weβre all man whores or pathetic virgins
Eh I'd go from explaining a low body count to not explaining a low body count.
I wouldn't. They don't have to date me for having a high body count. That's on me
We already are, a woman can show interest in a guy and she'll lose it if he tells her he's a virgin.
What makes you think we'd give a shit?
π π π
Provided we'd be able to write our own check like women do? Bring it on.
Use incognito, problem solved.
Judge me I have no body count barely
I'd prove 'them' to be right about it :D
I would be myself and not give a fuck
The same way I do now
Sometimes girls can overblow issues like this.
say nothing