Guys, if the roles were reversed and men were judged for their past as much as women, how would you handle it?

Question

Every notch on your belt, every wild night out, picked apart by every woman you date. How would you defend your history?

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

Same way I handle it now, with honesty and straightforwardness.

Problem with lying to your partner is the more you lie to them the more they're not dating you. They're dating a fictional characture of yourself that you made up.

And women aren't stupid, they'll piece it together eventually and say "who the fuck is this guy?" Because even if you remember every lie and never slip up, she's watching your actions and she wants her expectations to reasonably match up with what she sees or else she's gonna start asking questions that have no answer.

Maybe you told your girl that you beat up some guy who disrespected an ex or your sister. And then 10 years later someone disrespects your girl in front of you. She's probably thinking she's gonna have to hold you back but if you don't do it, if she sees you're not a fighter what's gonna happen?

She's gonna ask questions and you're gonna be like. "Well I didn't want to cause a situation with the police, I've grown up a lot since back then"

She's gonna look at you and be thinking, grown up? You weren't so level headed when (whatever she's thinking about) happened? Why are you so responsible all of a sudden?

And the worst part is you've stolen from her and yourself. Whatever you did in your past, you already did that shit it's a part of who you are, your story as a man.

Now you have to work on being a man you're proud of being. And then you can work on finding a woman who has the maturity to understand you're a work in progress and you're always looking to improve.

A woman for the streets isn't going to see it like that. A woman who can be your partner and something more than an accessory you keep around will respect your straightforwardness and become excited for the potential a relationship with you has.

Otherwise what do you have? It's not a real relationship. It's shallow and fake.

rgii55447 · Accepted Answer

What history? A few fanfictions of girl dragons laying eggs, and girl dragons kicking boy dragons somewhere funny? I don't know, just the feeling that girls and guys can't pretend not to know about each other and their differences because that is creating a chasm between their understanding of each other, and distancing yourself from their life experiences like they are some alien other, and since she wasn't a part of my life, I guess their was no way for me to process and understand those differences between myself and the one I want to understand more than anybody else in life than to write weird fictions about processing those differences. Maybe that's not the only reason, I am in to those weird things, but the need to try to understand the experience of the one I love most when she has not been given the chance to come into my life yet, and basically to leave behind some sort of trace of my past feelings when and if she does is why I haven't stopped, because when I meet her, all those feelings may have disappeared and I'll have never got to express them to her, so I wrote them down so they will still be there somewhere, the good and the bad, and then she can judge me for it herself.

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

Everyone is judged by people who care about that stuff. Not everyone judges and if people stopped accommodating the judges they’d have to learn to chill tf out bother choices would dwindle.

Some things SHOULD be judged but those are not usually what gets rookies attention, it’s all quite twisted. The works would he far getter with less silky judgement and more judgement integrity - compassion patience honesty emotional resilience respect—

but as far as the incredible amount of junk judgement, it’s all about how you handle judgement that creates an environment conducive or inhospitable to it.

I do not want more people forced to experience petty judgement I just want people to move past judgement as a way of life.

I think many people deal with insurmountable often arbitrary pressure of “social persecution of personal life choices” by not getting involved with people seriously and I don’t borne them… funny it has the OPPOSITE impact of “controlling Pelosi’s behavior” they just reject all of it 🤷🏻‍♀️

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Hahaha... I don't know how many would handle it... I'm just going to "follow" the question to see the answers. This is a GREAT question, by the way.

MrOracle · Answer

Men are judged for almost everything else. Not tall enough. Not fit enough. Not handsome enough. Not confident enough. Not dominant enough. Not successful enough. Not enough status. Not able to read minds well enough. Not able to tell the difference between two 0.1 second glances where one has an eyebrow 0.5mm higher than the other.

Most men start the game at ZERO, and have to think, sweat, and bleed to build themselves up from the time they hit puberty, or they are considered worthless. And even when they give it everything they have, many are still considered worthless.

If the tables were turned, most men would cruise, and most women would be on the floor sobbing before they hit high school, and would never stop.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

What a nonsense question. Men ARE judged harshly for our sexual history. More harshly than women by a damn sight. Inexperienced men are assumed to be incapable of pleasing women. “Overly” experienced men are thought to be contagious, have a myriad of engagement and commitment issues, and ALSO incapable of or unwilling to please a woman. If a man’s experience doesn’t fall into that very narrow window, he might be toyed with for a while but eventually he will be rejected. Most are rejected outright.

Avicenna · Answer

LOL, men ARE judged for their history with women.

Finchie40 · Answer

We are judged as well, on top of everything else , but to answer your question? With Honesty

MisterWack · Answer

It is called empathy, some people have it others don’t.

How would the woman aide of mine like it for someone to snap at them, “Shut up, girls don’t cry!” OR the ladies trying to catch a glimpse in the boys restrooms / locker rooms if it were reversed to be immature boys looking and peaking on them, OR the girls who hugged me & ganged up on me (a shy quiet shorter boy) in the hallway if it were big tall muscular cocky men?

Empathy, you put yourself in the place of the other. These situations suck for everyone! Show some damn respect people! Same to the men who push a woman’s past onto them.

Lliam · Answer

I never cared about what society or anybody else thinks.
I'm extremely happy with my sexual experiences. Women should be happy about theirs, too.

If some woman judged me, I would just think she wasn't for me and I would move on without a second thought.

I never asked a woman about her "body count" and none ever asked about mine. I don't want to know about her sexual exploits.

People who judge sexually active women are the ones with issues. And people who would judge experienced men are equally inhibited.

But each to their own. All a person has to do is find someone who is compatible.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Well, I don't have that many notches on my belt. I likely could have over the years, but I prefer to really know the person and be in a relationship before taking it to that level.

I was married for 19 years before my wife past away and I was faithful to her throughout the entire marriage, she made my life better just being in it.

I've been with a few other women where the relationships lasted on the bottom end a few years at minimum, I cared for them very much too, it was just the timing was all off.

I only ever had one person where I was in a mainly sexual relationship, she was younger but we both agreed that we would only see each other and not other for safety sake. I was true to my word.

So I don't think my history is to bad, even though I know for a fact I could have been dog if I chose that route.

Miristheiss · Answer

Nice try but men and women are different. We care about different things in a long term mate.

Men have to deal with women concerned with their education, status, income, ability to provide, being competent at things, being a leader, confident, how tall they are.

Biology. Since the dawn of creation when a man and woman have sex their is reproduction and a family starts. Women need to make sure they do it with a good option, a provider, a stable guy. Sex often happened with marriage. Guys had to marry her to get sex.

The pill didn't come along until the 1960's, the sexual revolution in the 70's. Just because we have a few decades of women thinking being tramps is ok to be wife material doesn't mean it isn't gross.

BadApple69 · Answer

I agree with your point. Women are treated unfairly when it comes to their past sex life. Or at least most women are treated unfairly. Some maybe treated deservingly so. Let’s be honest, neither men or women should be running around banging everything they can. We all need to have some moral compass to keep us on the correct path. I won’t but we can talk about unwanted pregnancies, STDs, and just feeling shitty because you slept with someone that you really didn’t want to, but did anyway.
I as a man don’t judge women, but I think women judge women and some judge themselves.

I had a girlfriend that asked me how many women I have slept with… my number is relatively low… she was shocked and said hers was way higher then that… but then wouldn’t tell me what that number was… she was feeling ashamed because of it. She was judging herself…

imtiaz45 · Answer

If men were judged for their past as much as women are, it would necessitate a profound shift in societal attitudes towards accountability and fairness. Men would face similar scrutiny and societal pressure regarding their actions, relationships, and personal histories. To handle this, it would be crucial to promote a culture of empathy and understanding, ensuring that past mistakes are evaluated with context and growth in mind. Encouraging open dialogue about gender biases and striving for equitable treatment for all individuals, regardless of gender, would be essential. The goal would be to foster a society that values fairness and personal growth over judgment based on past actions.

Ladsin2 · Answer

Like if what men and women wanted were to flip? I presume I'd be fine with it. I'd recognize that the world is the way the world is and have to find a way to accept it. Your question I find a little silly though because everything would have to change for that to be the case. Women would have to become unsure of paternity and men would have to become certain of paternity. Men would have to be the receptive sex and women the proactive sex. Men would have to have sex freely available, but abstain; whereas women would have to work hard to get sex but get denied. Sexual dynamics are the way they are for these reasons.

NathanDavis · Answer

in the real world... it does happen

every man carries a reputation...

even to this day, when I meet again someone I knew as a kid/teen/college years... I do remember who they were, what they did... and I always make sure they grew up from that (if they did "wrong")

in the real word it happens to all, men and women, this isn't just a gender thing

Anonguyfella · Answer

Well considering I think you mean, “judged for having a lot of sexual partners” then I’d be fine (I’ve never had sex), it’s really not that hard to do.
Funny thing is I am judged for NOT having a lot of sexual partners. I’m use to getting rejected but when people find/ figure out my lack of experience, it’s like a “ah ha” moment in their head. They figure I must be weird, creepy, immature for being 25 with the romantical life of a 12 year old.
Maybe they are right I don't know, guess it doesn’t matter why at the end of the day, rejection is all the same.

buzzword · Answer

Who gives a fuck if you judge guys. It just makes your job in courting harder for you. It's you that wants to win a companion that will stick around when you are pregnant and stay and help and raise your children and acquire resources so that they can grow up strong. It's you that has to impress the shit out of a man so he doesn't just walk away from you. It's funny when women forget that.

Levin · Answer

I keep to every standard I expect in a partner, so it would be easy.

The standards are:

Don't sleep around. Have some self respect.

Take care of your physical, mental and moral health.

All things easy to control. All standards I abide by myself.

molonski2 · Answer

I'd be in big trouble I would admit , to try and explain all would be virtually impossible , and I'd be considered Superslut / hooker type category , partly on account of age I must say , so I could blame off some , and of course that free flowing lifestyle.

But , in fairness men are judged on numerous other things , and are constantly being judged anyhow.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Who is judging women? The very men you shouldn't want a relationship with in the first place? Stop empowering idiots to take up your time. This isn't meant to sound sarcastic it's meant as a reminder of what you know to be true. They're not worth your time worrying about.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

It's not like men aren't judged, they just aren't judged as much as women. I remember that my wife wasn't exactly thrilled about the slew of short-term relationships I had before her.

Phoenix98 · Answer

My history speaks for itself I don't have to defend anything.

Besides it's not like real life is that different from your scenario. At this point in time we're judged on virtually everything under the sun except our history. But pretty much everything else is scrutinized and criticized.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

There is no need to reverse the roles everyperson is judged for their past relationships.

Also to stay away from STD's or something anyways people are judged no matter what it's fair thing as well.

How would men handle? the fact to be handled is by the person they are involved with they have to handle or decide if they want to stay or not.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Thank god that my history is clear like the sun and i don't have to defend about anything from my past circus lady...
I don't judge a woman about her past cause what's done is done but if she had done something wrong i hope that fix it ane move on the right path, no one is perfect circus lady 😌

Sharkstealth · Answer

If I'm nervous because all I can think about is slapping her ass and tossing her on to the bed then pulling her hair and sliding in to her and thrusting deep and rhythmic. She might take that nervousness as less confident.

This is how we are judged.

Staximus · Answer

My friend's ex girlfriend was trying to rope me down to make him jealous and I told her that I had sex with a hooker in Tijuana years ago. She said "Ohh noo! Now I can't have your baby!" I just laughed and said that I wore a condom, but she seemed genuinely disappointed. I didn't know she was planning to have my baby, so it actually worked out in my favor.

yulbsari · Answer

The real question is do you mind being with a "lecherous dog" or a "dirty whore." They both exist in very high numbers. To answer this requires honest self-reflection. The bottom line is..."You like what you like." Period

In_Trance · Answer

Men are judged for their past. Women often overlook it because there's a lack of decent guys out there. Most are in cells Mama's voice drug addicts gamers or even worse sports fanatics. Most women are willing to overlook a higher than normal body count

genericname85 · Answer

men are judged for their past. I don't know from what universe you're from. but where i live that was always the case. women don't like players.

avery58 · Answer

They already, plenty of girls care about those kind of things as well.

exitseven · Answer

I really do not have much to be ashamed of. I have a small body count and cared deeply for all of my partners except for my first one which was a one time.

ManInChains · Answer

Men are judged for their past. Women are constantly accusing men of things they supposedly did years ago.

sawno · Answer

Easy, I never slept around haha. The sexting is easily defendable on the fact it wasn't in person. I kept all my in person encounters to people I truly love.

blueonblack22 · Answer

You act like so many guys are judging promiscuous women like it’s still 1955 or something. You are completely wrong.

Lionman95 · Answer

Is there something a guy isn't judged for? I've never felt not judged on a date.

LifeHitMeandRan · Answer

We ARE judged for our past more than women.

Apple1996 · Answer

Um men are already judged for their body count/history

LiamJHayden · Answer

Would not care, just like I do not care or ask about hers now.

jshm2 · Answer

The question doesn't make sense. Men AND women are judged for their past by partners who are concerned about that sort of thing.  Women just make more drama out of it, is all.

katiesmuff · Answer

Boy wouldn't that be some interesting conversation!

Unit1 · Answer

😂

Have fun knowing and judging, that i had sex only with one girl. Whats there to defend?

Every wild nightout will end up with me jerking off at home. And i'm just one of the legion of the lonely and sexless ones.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I would own it because even if that scenario was the case, my past is my past and given today's standards, I would be seen as tame.

RingOfFire · Answer

I would say it's not a problem because men can't get pregnant and women can. So when women have irresponsible sex they are taking and irresponsible risk.

Ironco · Answer

In my younger days, I would be in trouble... Now I'm to thick skinned, I wouldn't care. I've done and did what I have in the past, she would just have to deal with it or move on.

Lynx122 · Answer

Men do get judged for their past just in a different way.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Men get judged for their past too. I don’t know what gave you the impression that they aren’t, But I can assure you we are. That’s cute that you think your gender can handle something we can’t. Lol.

mateta_haidara · Answer

I’ve never slept around and I wouldn’t date a woman who did that. I don’t want a woman to be virgin. I am not either. But my (low) body count comes from committed relationships.

PrettyCrumblBb · Answer

They are. I wouldn't date a guy that slept around. I have standards.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Honestly is best. But it might mean failure.  People judge…

backdoorman · Answer

If that happened, and I think it should, I think men would be better humans.

Serkee · Answer

I would handle it very well, women would suddenly want me a lot more.

Juxtapose · Answer

Why would that matter when I am already judged on literally everything else while women mostly just have to show up and be spoiled? My body count is low by the way.

grega239 · Answer

I think in a way i was judged for it. Heard some weird comments about the lack of notches ojnmy belt

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

Women are judged more for how they look, than their past But, both genders are judged for their past. Why shouldn't they be?

Vegasrunner · Answer

For me personally it would be exceptional. Women are attracted to men that are type A, successful go getters that prove they can be attractive to other women.

art84 · Answer

I never dated so wouldn't be a problem though if I did have girlfriends in the past, I would be fine with telling how those relationships were.

HighValue · Answer

Men are already judged for far more than women are.

Grond21 · Answer

I have a stellar record. I've never been drunk, never slept with anyone, never done something stupid just for a dare.

Redstang88 · Answer

Read what Mroracle said, it’s right on the money. Men are judged for EVERYTHING including many things we have little to no control over

Wiredone · Answer

I'd say it took a while to find the woman I was totally compatible with

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

Well for starters, my history ain’t all that bad. But if she didn’t like something about me I’d just accept it and move on

Jmpr760 · Answer

I wouldn't care , never did that sort of stuff, had only a few long term relationships/partners less than 10 , never did the one night stand thing or ditched my mate to go clubbing dancing/drinking... so nah wouldn't care

Jay-_- · Answer

Maybe I'm just reaching but this post is screaming hypocritical feminist

Guys, if the roles were reversed and men were judged for their past as much as women, how would you handle it?

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Guys, if the roles were reversed and men were judged for their past as much as women, how would you handle it?

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