How to stop being jealous of things my girlfriend has done?

[Anonymous]

I love my girlfriend and she loves me but I just hate feeling so jealous about her she has friends she goes out with and been successful at achieving a skilled career, and honestly she's always been successful even through her high school years where as compared to me I feel like I just don't bring anything to the table like she does, I never had many friends outside of school, I never had a passion for achieving a successful job, and never had any accomplishments like she has which I guess hate to say it is probably because I always been depressed without realizing I was.. I just didn't think it would honestly put me so far behind but yeah it does im honestly just a loser who works at walmart and no plan for finding a better life or a better job mostly because I just don't think I'd qualify

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey man I feel you. It's tough comparing yourself to your girl and feeling like you don't stack up. But you gotta stop being so hard on yourself - beating yourself up will only make the jealousy worse. A few things that might help:

- Focus on the things you DO bring to the table - like how much you care about her and treat her right. Qualities like kindness, loyalty and companionship are way more important than a career.

- Instead of putting her on a pedestal, see her as a partner and teammate. You both have strengths and things to work on.

- Think about your own strengths and interests, not just a "career." Maybe there's a hobby you could explore more or classes to take.

- Talk to your girl and other people you trust about feeling behind. Their support can boost your confidence.

- One step at a time, dude. You don't need it all figured out now. Just keep putting yourself out there for opportunities without forcing anything.

Comparing yourself is useless, man. She likes you for who you are. Believe in that and in yourself more. You'll get where you're going - just go at your own pace without competing with others. Focus on being happy together, yeah?

[Anonymous]

Use the past as a place of reference not residence. You can’t change what you did or didn’t do in the past, so there’s no use in picking through the ashes and wishing you made better choices. Focus on the present and future. If you don’t have a therapist then you should really consider getting one, because until you learn how to deal with your depression it will always hold you back and keep you thinking that you can’t achieve your goals.

[sethtav]

Go back to school and start moving forward.