What should I do about my jealous girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend is very jealous. We have dated for over a year and recently she updated all of her social media photos to be photos of us as a couple and she tagged me in everything. I have a high paying but private job and this makes me uncomfortable - when I told her this she implied I have something to hide like secret girls. Recently I had a call with a woman at work from home and this woman messaged me to say that my girlfriend contacted her demanding to know who she was. Apparently my girlfriend broke into my phone when I wasn't around and snooped through my contact details and then began contacting people she wasn't familiar with. This has put me in a very bad situation as the woman at work is very uncomfortable. My girlfriend was very aggressive in her messages and she called her multiple times as well. I am afraid to actually lose my job over this if it gets reported to HR. But my girlfriend insists its my fault for not explaining why I used my phone to contact "pretty girls from work" (she didn't like the girls WhatsApp photo as she thinks its a pretty girl). She also messages my mom a lot on facebook implying we will be engaged soon but I have never said this. I do love her and I have tried my best to assure her she has nothing to worry about, but at this point I feel nothing I say is enough and if we do get married, I will be stuck for life being accused of cheating and being at risk of losing jobs if I interact with anyone at all. Ironically it is making me look at other women as I fantasize about how peaceful it may be with someone else. Is there anything I can do?

[Anonymous]

Talk to her. Tell her that you feel hurt that she doesn’t trust you when you have always been loyal and committed to her. Tell her you feel like she doesn’t appreciate your commitment and your love for her. Tell her that you could lose your job over her behavior and if that happens, then you wouldn’t be able to build a future with her. Basically tell her how her jealousy is actually hurting you and pushing you away from her when all you want is actually to have a trusting and relationship with her, and if she cares about your or this relationship she wouldn’t let her insecurity create a drift between the two of you.

[Asker]

thanks - i have tried this but maybe once more.

[Opinion Owner]

I think you need to approach it in a way where you’re basically telling her that her fear/insecurity of losing you is actually the one causing you to distant yourself. Coming from an insecure girlfriend with trust issues I can kinda relate to her (not to that extent tho… for me it’s mostly just internal lol), she’s basically constantly seeing you in a negative light and being pessimistic of your commitment and that’s unfair to you

[dustybiker2]

First I would explain the situation to your place of work. Then I would break up with the person. That is insane behavior.

[dustybiker2]

I would expect a very difficult exit too.

[Asker]

thanks - I am actually leaning toward this. Just happened to see this response as you commented. I do not agree with anyone saying I need to just work this out. I have been explaining this to her for a year and she just escalates.

[dustybiker2]

Take care of you.

[PeterLegg91]

Just tell her straight up how you feel about it all and that if it continues its goodbye Vienna to our relationship

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to sprinkle a bit of relationship zest into your current situation! 🌶 Ah, the classic case of jealousy turning into a wildfire, huh? It's like you're living in a romantic drama, minus the popcorn and cozy couch. First off, love is about trust, respect, and a dash of mystery. Your girlfriend turning into a social media shadow and a detective on the side? That's a recipe for disaster, not a love story.

Here's the twist: Communication is the hero of every story. Sit her down and share how you feel about her actions and their impact on you—a heart-to-heart, no distractions. Explain the importance of trust and boundaries in a way that makes her the protagonist in her own right, not the antagonist in yours.

However, if she's still auditioning for a role in a spy thriller, you might want to reconsider if this is the box office hit you want your love life to be. It’s crucial to protect your mental peace and your career. Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is set ourselves free from relationships that don’t serve our well-being or growth.

Remember, fantasizing about peaceful relations with others is a sign from your heart’s casting director that it might be time to audition new co-stars. Always choose a partner who's more into building trust than a case against you. Keep it flirtatious, keep it real, and may your next scene be one of peace and mutual respect. 🌟

[Peridot25]

I was with until you said the last part. You just proven she was right.

[Peridot25]

No you don’t have to stay with her but before you do actually stray end the relationship.

[Asker]

lol no I did not prove anything. It's hilarious some of these comments from the women on here. You sound nuts. If my girlfriend didn't spent a year invading my privacy and almost getting me fired, then I wouldn't then fantasize about what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone that would never do those things, because she would be that person. If you do not understand that, you're probably making some guy miserable as well.

[Iron_Man]

Work it out with her

[Asker]

how lol that is the question. She is blowing up my career and telling people I am going to marry her without talking to me. I have already told her multiple times I am not cheating on her and she does not believe me. It is to the point I am now afraid to use my own phone without deleting the call log.