Is this a thing a lot of young men do now w days? It’s a pattern I’m very tired of, when I talk to a man at first I’m very interested but then very quickly the conversation gets dry and boring cause it becomes very apparent that said man I’m talking to is just so obsessed with his own reflection and not interested in building a genuine authentic connection with another person.
It’s really frustrating and a let down, do things ever get better, are the men of my generation just cooked? I’m obviously not referring to all men but that has been a repeating pattern with the overwhelming majority of young men that I’ve conversed with on the internet.
. Well don't give in don't give up that easy for sure when you meet somebody.
Take a couple steps back look directly in their eyes look at their body language look at their gestures they will tell you everything you want to know within the first 5 to 10 minutes talking with him he will tell you exactly who he is... The thing is if you have to really pay attention.. Listen to the way the guy talks to his friends he will tell you exactly who he is that way too he will tell you if he's controlling he will tell you if he's kind he will tell you exactly what kind of man he is but you have to listen not only listen but watch what his eyes are telling you because even though his mouth is saying one thing his eyes will be telling you another thing.. relationships are beautiful. In with meeting the person you look into their eyes to see who their heart is who they are on the inside their heart will tell you everything if you don't look at the outside at all and just pay attention to the words that's what you're looking for a week two weeks down the road then look to the outside downsides all just an extra bonus but it's who they are on the inside that counts they will tell you without even them knowing it if you pay attention
Social media is definitely not helping your generation because of the obsessive self image that is portrayed online. Everyone shared their best moments and is looking for approval of others. You sound more mature than that based on how you wrote this and didn't generalize all men.
That said, your answer lies within that sentiment. It's not all young men just like not all young women aren't all whatever stereotype...
Maturing takes time. Literally. So young men need to mature as do young women. I say be the change you want to see. Be a good influence in real life scenarios. That should be who you call an influencer. First off it's not your sole responsibility to enlighten these men you encounter. I can say however, that if we want to learn from each other we need to help each other be better.
A suggestion would be if you like someone and see these traits it's ok to share what you're looking for for in a man and finding a nice way of describing it. In that description you can showcase what a realistic good man you're looking for ( we all can't be 6'5, Body builder, rich, and well endowed lol). You should not settle for an idiot. Men and women should be doing this for each other. If this new person really is intrigued by you he should want to be his best self. Sometimes young men are trying to find who they are going to be and what it is to be a man. You can actually positively help shape that. The same goes for men to women.
I wish you luck and hope this was helpful and would love to hear when you meet a nice person!
It’s not age groups because this also happens to others at any age lol. I understand it is discouraging and frustrating for sure… sometimes, people talk about themselves to try to impress the girl, it’s their own way trying to make conversation flow, they’re trying to be comfortable first, or they can just be self center. As you, I’d probably be turned off if that’s what they mostly do is only talk about themselves, not trying to connect to you, or ask questions to get to know each other better. But at least you know that it’s just not what you’re looking for and you can either wait abit to see if it will develop more or move to the next lol.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
1 y
Challenge a man respectfully and he will entertain a conversation, act like a "dumb blonde" and he will talk down to you. Treat people the way you want to be treated. - Minus the men who are damaged. They don't apply.
It’s a two way street if the conversation gets dry…. Believe me it is. I have the same problem talking to women. Sometimes I can have a very deep engaging conversation and it gets dry. Other women aren’t even able to have that.
Oh but I also understand the whole someone obsessed with their own reflection thing. Plenty of women do this too. And yeah not all men or women are like this.
But people who are too obsessed with themselves don’t have much to offer. Most the time they demand by far more then they give. Then they wonder why people who genuinely have something to offer don’t waste it on them.
Some of that is because of your age group, but there's also a lot that kind of thing happens at every age.
Unfortunately, there's not a ton you can do outside of doing your best to be an interesting and engaging person.
Here's a little bit of game that you might find interesting though; there's a Youtuber that I absolutely adore named Eva Zu Beck. She's currently sworn off any kind of romantic encounters. I think she's doing it for a year, or something because she wants to find herself on her own (something along those lines).
The celibate part is NOT the part I want you to learn about though. I wanted to tell you about Eva because I think she's a FANTASTIC example of what a very natural-feeling, dynamic, feminine, bubbly, happy, playful person looks like.
Somebody like Eva would be extremely difficult for me to not fall in love with.
Unfortunately, you are in the age of vanity right now, where everyone tries to look their best and stand out in crowd, whatever your style is.
It sounds to me like your more mature than your age, so maybe meeting a guy that is a few years older than you would help. Regardless, I am sure there is the equivalent of you on the male side of thing where he's a bit more mature than his age. You just haven't met him yet.
Personally, I enjoy listening because I know some people just need to get things off their chest. That said, nobody likes a narcissist. I can totally understand getting tired of being treated like an AI language model.
There are still some good guys out there though, our generation is not cooked. There are good apples and bad apples, you just gotta find the right ones.
I guess I should just take a step back. The guy I talked to recently really pissed me off and left a bad taste in my mouth, went on and on talking about his goals and dreams and I had some similar goals which is why I stuck around for a bit until I realize talking to him was super exhausting. He would go on and on talking about himself and I don’t think he ever once asked me a question about myself to try to get to know me. Pretty sure he was only talking to me because he found me attractive which sucked
Unfortunately a lot of guys have been burned by attractive women. They get cynical very young these days - far younger than I was.
That's a tough lesson to unlearn.
"Feminism" - which is actually misandry these days - has also burned a lot of men. My generation (Gen-X) had it relatively easy as teens through mid 20s. Equality still meant the women chose they guy not the bear back then - mostly. It was getting bad in the early 90s though. I got reprimanded by a girl when I insisted on walking on the outside of her. She accused me of being sexist - right until a car jumped the kerb and I was able to push her out of the way and come out with just a couple of bruises.
It's probably nothing to do with you and more because of their experience. A lot of women online say nothing but "what's he bringing to the table" instead of balancing that with "because here's what I'm offering". I've spoken to younger guys who said job interviews are less invasive than dates these days.
Talking with someone should be relaxing. I can talk to my best mates about the really tough shit in our lives and not feel exhausted. That said, talking to my wife is exhausting at the moment - but that's a different issue!
For what it's worth - and I won't be offended if you tell me I'm old and need to fuck off - guys are actually simple creatures. But young guys are scared as well. Don't let one lunkhead get you down. Be yourself in all things. Don't act like someone you're not and find a way to tell him to drop the act.
Some guys - I'd like to hope the really decent guys as it's something I do - respect a very direct approach. They'll play a role if they think it's expected, but if he's taking you to a fancy restaurant and you'd be more comfortable at Burger King drive through and eating in the car outside the city or at the beach or on the riverbank then tell him before the starters arrive!
I think online is inherently more talk at than real life and people find it easier to talk about themselves.
I joke that once girls have confirmed you are single and approximated your net asset backing and your cash flow, then they prefer to talk about themselves. Might go both ways.
Like you I would prefer to have an enjoyable interactive conversation.
You'll find in life that a lot of people of all ages are pretty bad at having an actual conversation. But thankfully there are those who are engaging and interesting. Don't lose hope. You will find some.
Hmm, what do you mean like they’re too self-absorbed in a conceited way or they are insecure? Are these conversations plainly online or is there video through facetime, etc?
You are still young and a lot of guys your age are not really into serious relationships yet. I suggest you try talking to some slightly older guys to see how it goes.
I don’t really feel comfortable talking to older people, any older than like 22-23 that’s my limit rn. A lot of older guys don’t look for girls my age for the right reasons at all, a lot of them porn addicts judging from search histories
Nah I don't do that 😹 tbh I only have female friends cause guys are like that, I don't even get stressed most of the time because girls don't just talk about a single topic but I have to deal with the mood swings ;-;
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
