Why do men always stop talking to me like they get bored and then come back a while later?

[Anonymous]

Why not just stay away and usually they come back with so much life stories and excuses after it's to late to go back to how it was

[MrOracle]

Are these LOCAL guys, or guys you are meeting on the Internet? Long-distance relationships almost never work and should be considered a waste of everyone's time. in my opinion, you shouldn't date (or be "talking to") guys who live any more than 20 minutes away from you, because if they live any further away, they won't be able to see you often enough. Most people, and guys especially, NEED to see you in person or they will lose interest in you over time. Our brains have a "grieving mechanism" - what allows you to "let go" of someone who dies or moves away or otherwise leaves your life - and this gets activated if you are apart for more than about 90 days (on average). At around that point, your brain starts to disconnect from that person, and it's much harder for them to maintain the energy necessary to keep a relationship alive.

[Asker]

Yeah I get that, so what's the excuse for in person normal relationships then?

[MrOracle]

I can't speak for all men or all circumstances, but a common issue guys have is that some women expect to be constantly entertained - it's not enough to just spend time together. Or some girls want to treat her man as if he were one of her girlfriends, wanting to gossip about other people, or have him go shopping for clothes or towels or candles with her for endless hours.

A man wants to enjoy his time with you - he wants that time to be fun or at least peaceful. If a girl constantly annoys him or increases his stress level, he will quickly start to avoid spending time with her.

Likewise, guys don't want to be on their phone all day. He wants his relationship with you to be IN PERSON.

None of this is directed at you specifically - I have no idea what you do - but if the shoe fits, wear it.

[BoopBoopBeep]

We hate small talk and we have shite to do. If he's coming back a while later he at least wants to share his life stories with you. Are we talking "come back" after a week or after 6 months?

[Asker]

About 6 months

[BoopBoopBeep]

No that'd be excessive. Tell him your not interested in continuing that dynamic, then ignore him.

[Asker]

Fair enough thanks

[BoopBoopBeep]

Absolutely! Good luck to you. Just remember, you deserve better.

[Asker]

Thank you 😊

[OfMiceandMen]

Sounds to me like you are meeting guys that just want one thing from you and the rest of the girls they meet.

They don't want a relationship with anyone and aren't willing to put the effort in to get to know someone. Their loss.

Don't settle for idiots that don't stick around to get to know you better.

[Asker]

Well they stick around for months and then somehow start showing less interest and when I bring it up they disappear, months later back to say sorry when it's too late

[OfMiceandMen]

I guess they don't like any confrontation when you bring up their lack of interest, they feel as though it's best just lay low and come back when you hopefully have forgotten.

[Asker]

Messed up huh

[OfMiceandMen]

Sure is.😕

[Asker]

Thanks though

[boggboss]

Seems like u make relationships with retards that don't respect u

[Asker]

Yeah seeing that

[boggboss]

No person that does this respects u drop them and move on don't even entertain them

[Asker]

I don't, I tell them to leave after but I just wanted to know why that happens thanks 🌻

[boggboss]

Fair enough yeah just seems like meeting shitty guys unfortunately not somthing I think u are doing wrong

[Asker]

🌸🌼

[Annbaby]

Men are busy with their responsibilities.

Moreover, men just want fast sex.

[Asker]

So waste months with me just for that?

[Annbaby]

No... Ask them directly what they want... Some just want to get physical, others are actually interested in you

[Asker]

To just disappear doesn't show interest no?

[Annbaby]

U need to find good guys... Which country r u from?

[Asker]

Germany

[Annbaby]

Don't mind, but I have heard German men misbehave

[Asker]

How so

[Annbaby]

You should find out what do u like in a relationship?

[Asker]

Complicated lol

[Annbaby]

Do u like spending time, shopping, or getting physical? Ur choice will decide what kind of guys u should date

[Asker]

Neither lol

[Annbaby]

Then? What do girls want?😂

[Asker]

😂🤷‍♀️I don't know I literally just want time and effort

[Annbaby]

I hope you find the one you want... Best wishes...

[Asker]

Thank you

[genericname85]

because most likely they are bored but then later they get horny and remember you have a vagina.

[Asker]

Didn't sleep with them though

[genericname85]

doesn't matter. you still do have a vagina xD so since the contact is there, may as well try to get in. i mean there's no downside to trying.

[Asker]

Yeah that's fair I guess lol

[genericname85]

you gotta remember: if a man is horney, they can't just pick one of the many chicks trying to fuck them to release that urge xD so they resort to things that may be seen as sort of pathetic. but that's normal.

[Asker]

Lol so waste months of my time just for that?

[genericname85]

xD well that's your loss not theirs

[Asker]

Lol right

[genericname85]

so best is to just ingore these flaky people. or block them. fuck them. they are no benefit in your life. just drain on your time.

[Asker]

Yeah true

[Billlewis]

Because we have to go and masturbate for a while... lol

[BarryLiverstone]

Because they don’t want to form an emotional connection and relationship with you. So they stop talking and focus on someone else

[Asker]

Even if you were In a relationship before they left?

[BarryLiverstone]

It depends. What do you mean, you were his girlfriend and he left you?

[BarryLiverstone]

And how long was the relationship?

[Asker]

Girlfriend for about half a year and then decided to leave without a response and same with another guy was in a situationship for months and then just left and comes back months later saying he made a mistake by ignoring me , happened several times with different guys

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s what I thought. So what is happening is these guys are enjoying the novelty of a “falling in love “ beginning of a relationship and the sexual benefits but then they don’t want do the work that is required to maintain a longer relationship. They come back because you didn’t block contact with them.

Does that answer your question?

[Asker]

Yes actually thank you but why come back then? I mean that's all over then no?

[BarryLiverstone]

They come back because they can. They remember how good it felt to start something and want to try it again. Or they get horny. You didn’t mention if they just came back to tell stories or if you all have sex again?

[Asker]

Well I don't know honestly cause by the time they come back I'm over it and then I just tell them to get lost, they have stories like life got hard and they didn't want me apart of that or they needed time to work on themselves

[BarryLiverstone]

Ya like I said they have excuses to try and get you to feel for them again. It’s just to use you and get what they want. Why don’t you block them?

[Asker]

Cause I feel bad , like getting rid of a someone that was apart of my life , I'm stupid enough to think friends is possible lol

[BarryLiverstone]

Frankly yes, you are stupid enough to think friends is possible after a romantic relationship. Stop that ok?

I’m being blunt because I also used to fall into that trap and it’s not worth it. Be friends with other people but once you break up block that person. Ok?

[BarryLiverstone]

by the way there is a reason why after several months they start to show less interest

[Asker]

Thing is with the last guy I couldn't just block, we argued and I sent him a message saying hey we should take the day and see if we want this or not and he just blueticked me and never heard from him so I'm not so sure whether to do it or not

[Asker]

What's the reason

[MaterialisticMember]

Because they are desperate

[Asker]

For?

[MaterialisticMember]

Women interaction

[Asker]

Oh yeah I guess