What can I do to get men to see me in a romantic way?

[Anonymous]

I’m constantly seen as either just a friend or a potential friends with benefits.

Updates

1 y

Why do people automatically assume that you must look and act like a whore for people to proposition you for hook ups and friends with benefits situations? I’ve deliberately curated my image and lifestyle (modest, reserved, don’t wear revealing clothing, don’t really go out to bars/clubs/parties every weekend, don’t drink often, goes to church every Sunday) and I swear I still attract this type of attention, whether it be online, at work, in social groups, etc.

[OlderAndWiser]

A large part of the image you project is based on your appearance: clothes, makeup, accessories, and hairstyle. What image do you project?

[Asker]

I’m constantly complimented for presenting well and being well put together.

[OlderAndWiser]

If guys consistently respond to you in similar ways, it is probably a reaction to something that you are doing. But the image you think you project, either through your appearance or in initial conversations, may be quite different from what guys perceive when they are with you. Do you have a close male friend who you can trust to be candid with you?

[Asker]

…. I’m naturally modest and reserved, so it’s not like I’m carrying myself like some whore. I don’t talk about sex. I make it known that I am interested in a relationship yet I still get propositioned for hook-ups and friends with benefits situations.

The last guy that told me he only saw me as a fuck buddy was because according to him, I wasn’t confident (which makes zero sense in my opinion, but to each is own). I asked a former guy friend and he was completely clueless because I seem classy (this same guy friend tried to cheat on his fiancée with me a year later).

[OlderAndWiser]

Perhaps you are looking for men in the wrong places.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

If you don't mind following my reasoning, it starts at:

Men don't exist

As they don't exist, you cannot get men to see you in a romantic way, instead you may meet a man, and talk with him frequently, maybe you will find him attractive, maybe he will find you attractive, that's a mystery to uncover...

With a man, not with men

[DishLady]

Regarding your lead question (and not your ridiculous update), to get a good man to consider you as girlfriend or wife material you should comport yourself like a lady and not get sucked into negative or inflammatory situations.

[Asker]

How is my update ridiculous? And I do conduct myself like a lady.

[DishLady]

Ok, so why the update about the whore thing? Don't respond and react to every stupid little thing.

[Daniela1982]

If word gets out that you are good with a friends-with-benefits relationship, then you will never be seen as a romantic relationship candidate. They will only be interested in you for sex and nothing more.

[Asker]

The key word in this is “potential”. So, I’m clearly not engaging in these friends with benefits situations.

[Daniela1982]

I find it hard to believe that someone would consider you a potential friend with benefits without a little encouragement. Either that or you need to find a different class of men than you are engaging with.

[Asker]

…. Okay.

[Nik1hil]

Hit the gym for 1 year, with planned routine and diet and get a good body.

[Asker]

I’m a size 2

[Nik1hil]

What size 2?

Men are visual creatures, you need to be physically fit by gym standard if you want to be perceived sexy.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

No offense intended. Why do you want to represent men? This is misleading as this is your views, not men views

[Anonymous]

We can tell you but you won't do it.

[Asker]

What? Date me that I’m not attracted to?

[Asker]

*men

[Opinion Owner]

Not exactly. But you cannot expect men who are not attracted to you personally to see you other than just a cut. It's the equivalent of me asking you, "why doesn't Scarlet Johansson see me in a romantic way"? I'll pause while you finish laughing.🤣 Now you get it? No, nobody would expect you to date a man you're not attracted to. I'd never date a woman I wasn't attracted to. But since Svalet Johansson isn't answering me anytime soon I need to re-evaluate my expectations. So, maybe should you.