Will accepting job offer put in me a bad place since my ex will be my colleague?

[Anonymous]

My ex was against me working. He has narcissistic tendencies ranging from love bombing to emotional neglect to acting cool when things fall apart.

Now I am getting a new job offer that will eventually allow me to move countries. The pay is great and in total, a rewarding career.

The issue is my new opening is in his team. Will he think I am chasing after him?

Now that I don't care, what are the chances that he will try to rekindle provided he has a narcissistic personality, that would tend to stick around if treated like a dirt.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof yeah, that's definitely a tricky situation to be in with your ex. A few things to think about:

- You gotta do what's best for your career and life, not worry about what he might think. This sounds like a really good opportunity for you.

- Chances are he'll be immature about it at first no matter what - it's his issue to deal with, not yours. Don't let the fear of that hold you back.

- Set clear boundaries if you have to interact at work. Keep it 100% professional, don't engage if he tries personal stuff.

- He might get worse before it gets better. But once he sees you're confident and don't care anymore, I bet he'll back off eventually. Some guys just gotta power trip at first.

- There's strength in not giving reactions to his nonsense. Stay focused on your work and goals. He'll get bored if he doesn't get a rise.

- You've got this! You've grown since the relationship and don't need him anymore. This job move shows how strong and independent you are.

The career move sounds like it's worth it. Just go in confident knowing you don't owe him anything. He'll either learn to deal or just stay mad - but that's on him at that point. You can handle it! Let me know if he starts acting up at all and I'll help keep you sane, haha. You've got this girl!

[SueShe]

It all depends how you ended your relationship.


If it was in good terms, then I don’t think it will affect him nor the working atmosphere.


If, on the other hand, you separated on a less than amiable way, then it may be detrimental to the working environment as he may spread false news about you, mob you or give others negative feedback about you. This negativity may affect your future career, depending on how toxic the situation between the two of you is.

[Asker]

Well he didn't want to commit and I was okay. He kept onn doubting if I kissed anyone. One day he wanted us to have sex andI had a crazy idea of a threesome. Asked him if he was open and he would decide on the third partner (since I done have friends in the town). He initially said 'NO' and insisted me on us doing the deed. I said 'NO'. The threesome idea rubbed him bad way. He shouted at me and said he sincerely hope I find a good partner. More towards anger than wish. Then when we met he just didn't talk. Just looked at me for a while. His face was beaming with rage and left.
I definitely need this job coz of the perks and stability.

[SueShe]

I fear that he will gossip about you and your sexual wish and that will place you in a very odd situation, mainly with your coworkers that will think that they will want to try their chance with you since you are very open to sexual experimentations.

That is not really what you want because I believe that it will cause frictions and for you, a bad reputation that is not really what you need right now.

Hope for you that your sexual kink is not not be detrimental to you if he makes it public with your coworkers. If he is a decent person, he will not say anything and you should be ok.

[Asker]

Im sure he won't say that. However I do feel oddly worried if he will try to get back together. Especially now that I have moved onn and that can trigger the narcissist in him.

[SueShe]

I am not sure he would because he would be faced with the same problem again if you mention what you did and that caused the friction between you and him.