What would you do if your interest in someone decreased after the 4th date?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been on four wonderful dates with this guy and I’ve felt the fireworks between us since the very beginning.

However, after the 4th date, my interest has started to wane, and I’m not sure why. He’s been great, so why am I all of a sudden losing interest?

I want to give him a chance but at the same time, I don’t feel the same excitement as I did before.

Thoughts?

[Summeroflove]

I think that this really depends if you’re not really sure where you are wanting to do be open and honest with him about how you’re feeling, I would continue to go on dates just to see what happens. If you feel you’re loosing all interest and/or you’re not compatible with one another break it off easy no hard feelings.

There is this problem we as humans have where we paint this perfect picture of who someone is inside of our heads but you start to genuinely get to know someone and they aren’t really who you made them out to be.

There is also this thing where interest can come and go. Be very clear about how you feel on the next date. Tell him that he’s amazing and how you felt fireworks but you feel that your interest is dying down. But that you want to see where this goes and see if your interest peaks again. Make it clear that there is nothing wrong with him and have him communicate how he feels about you and genuinely listen to him.

Just remember that stringing someone along is the worst thing that you can do to someone else especially if you’re both in different pages such as his interest is increasing and yours is decreasing but you both just assume the other is feeling the same way.

Just be clear and honest in a kind way. Let one another know where you stand with each other. Never start assuming you know how the other feels or assuming that the other knows how you feel.

I would go on another date and have this talk with him but maybe somewhere private but just see where it goes until you feel like you (as well as him) have made a decision to either see where this goes or figure it’s not going anywhere. At least not for the time being.

[ohsheeT]

You have to listen to yourself

If you know anything about energy or anything on this planet everything is made of energy... When you're real when you're consistent you're happy your energy frequency just peaks. And when two energies become one or two energies can fill each other it's one of the most beautiful feelings in the world it's actually a high it's a sensual sexual beautiful feeling..

And when people are around you they feel that coming from you..

Say the first three dates this guy had to get himself up and going to feel alive and that's what you were feeling those first three dates

On the fourth date and he was just probably too worried out a lot of people fake their energy and have to build themselves up instead of it just being there

And you can feel that kind of stuff you know all you have to do is look into somebody's eyes you can feel who they are you can tell who they are just by their touch you can tell if they're real you can tell that they're lying to you telling you the truth within a heartbeat

That energy is one of the most beautiful things you'll ever ever experience or understand if you start thinking and learning about it because it's all going to start coming out I know we truly are

[TheRealPepperPotts]

What happened? Did something he say seem off-putting? It could be that your subconscious detected a red flag. Was he sarcastic, too black and white, talked about himself too much, didn't ask you questions, etc?

I'd be concerned if it was a constant high, though, to be honest. There needs to be a point where you have a chance to have some boredom, an argument, and reality check in any relationship. A whirlwind romance is a bad investment, typically. The initial attraction should not be taken too seriously. I would personally give it more time.

[Summeroflove]

All possibilities and even if he didn’t do anything like this. He may start to wonder if he starts to tell her interest is decreasing and thinks he’s doing something wrong.

It’s good to be respectful but to let someone know where they stand with them and to ask where they also stand. Never assume.

[Summeroflove]

Those are good questions to ask that may give more insight as to why it’s dwindling down. Also some people are right relationships long term aren’t fireworks all the time.

[DishLady]

I’d say “You're a great guy but I’m not feeling the big chemistry. I respect you and don’t want to waste your time…”

[HawkPerception]

Why do you always need excitement? If you have that mentality, you'll never have a successful relationship. It's okay to not be excited.

When things are fresh and you're learning about each other both mentally and physically, everything's exciting, but everything will eventually simmer down once you get passed that phase.

[Purpleronnie]

Well you’re not giving much away here so it’s hard to comment, although , how are we meant to feel after 4 dates?, are you looking for problems? Were you expecting your feelings to deepen? . I have no option to see it that you have changed or at least your mindset has. Cut the guy loose , and explain that you don’t know what your looking for right now and let him go meet someone else who is ready for a relationship

[SugarSugarplum]

I would never expect *interest* to grow every single day (or date) for the rest of my life.
Over time, interest becomes familiarity, which is the whole point.

[WhitneySnow]

Give him a chance. Talk to him. See if you can figure out together why the fireworks are waning and what to do about it.

[Paul_in_Indy]

for me, as a guy, this is a sign that I need to take her to bed. I’ve exhausted the new flirtation excitement that I can get without sex. In order to find out how far the next level of excitement takes me, I need to get her between the sheets

[Anonymous]

You like most women make the idiotic foolish mistake of believing relationships are all fireworks all the time.. Relationships take work.. Source, I'm married 10 years, together for 12..

Perhaps do something on your end to keep the excitement up..

[rienna888]

That happens sometimes. Maybe he’s having a bad day or you’re having a bad day. I’d say give it 1-2 more dates. Maybe your interest will resurface

[Summeroflove]

And this is true and clear communication

[thearchjoker]

Give him a 5th one if it doesn't work out move on if it does than good thing you gave him a second chance.

[luvstoned4him]

I would be totally honest with them with regards to my feelings and stop going out with them. The longer you put it off the harder ur becomes when you have to cut them off

[bobalife]

It’s complex but maybe you’re just not used to healthy relationships and need to adjust. As long as you still have interest and see it going somewhere.

[Smashingdoozy]

Are you losing interest or are you just getting comfortable? I feel like people confuse the two. You're not meant to have butterflies in your stomach every time you see each other m

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I would stop everything I'm doing, and would have an open chat with myself, to understand what is going on inside me.

[ArrowheadSW]

I think I would give it more time. Unless there are issues or red flags that arose that you can't deal with.

[art84]

Maybe those four wonderful dates ruined the moment for you. Like felt the fireworks between you both then they stopped all of sudden. Just listen to yourself and be truthful about how things aren't the same after the fourth date.

[MisterWack]

Express your feelings to him and see what he suggests maybe?

[bowenw]

It takes time to get to know someone. If you've lost interest, I suggest you end it so you don't waste his time or your time.

[DizzyDesii]

We always became boyfriend girlfriend by the end of the night so hell if i know 😂

[Princess2552]

I WOULD GIVE UP ON DATING AND BE HAPPY BEING SINGLE FOREVER

[supercutebutt]

Most of us give up the butt way before date #4. Something tells me you are holding out.

[paledreams]

Lol I'd have move on from the 3rd date or politely said it's not working out, stay friends if necessary or just part ways on good terms :)

[LiamJHayden]

Interest can go up and down. I always ask "Is this a decent person who is treating me right?" If so, I will continue on even if other things rise and fall.

[DrPepper12]

Buh bye. Life is too short to settle for mediocre

[Iron_Man]

I don’t need 4 dates. I can tell pretty much from the start if she’s interested and if things are clicking.

[RingOfFire]

Things happen, sometimes it flames out. Just move on.

[Stef12]

I've hated nearly everyone I've been out with. I never ever kissed them. These relationships went on years.

[noohair]

So the endorphins wore off. Now you have to find out if you are compatible over the long haul.

[MyBrainsInsaneReign]

Maybe it's just because you're getting used to him, and he doesn't seem so new and exciting anymore.

Does this happen with most guys you date? Or is it only him?

[Staximus]

You're the only one who knows why you're losing interest

[Juxtapose]

You're not supposed to feel fireworks constantly.

[Juxtapose]

I would give them more chances.

[Anonymous]

You slept with him already. It doesn't really matter at this point to him. Feel free to split.

[RedInnocent69]

Like after you slept with them and they turned out to be rubbish?

[Anonymous]

How did the physical escalation go from dates 1 through 4?

[strateguy632]

I would stay with her.

[_Senorita_]

Wow so quickly u took decision 😬

[FunkyMonkee]

Stop dating them and look for someone else.

[itsgonnabemee]

Where did you meet him?

[Crazzyyworld]

because you are succubus.

[nawtee_me]

The newness is wearing off

[dudegreat91]

He failed to make a move sexually maybe

[slatyb]

Stop seeing them.

[Anonymous]

Sleep with him. That will help you decide.

[Anonymous]

How is the sex?